19. May 2015

1 Comment

I Hope…

 

Hope is an important aspect of our lives.

You hear it in our daily conversations…”I hope you do well on the exam.”  “I hope they win the game.”  “I hope you have a good day.”

Add a difficult situation into the mix, like a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, makes hope an even stronger feeling of emotion.

In the big picture, we hope for a cure, but we also have hope for the countless, smaller situations of life that are influenced by MS.

Here are a few hopes of mine…..

 

 

I hope for Spellcheck.

I hope for Spellcheck.

 

 

I hope my kids don’t get MS.

 

I hope I can lift my foot over the lip of the shower.

 

I hope to make it to the bathroom next time.

 

 

 

I hope I can remember your name when we meet again.

 

I hope there is a place to park in the disabled space.

 

I hope you realize how much I appreciate your patience.

 

I hope I can read the fine print without getting my glasses.

 

Hopscotch anyone?

Hopscotch anyone?

 

I hope people understand how thankful I am for their help.

 

I hope the MRI doesn’t show new activity.

 

I hope I don’t get overheated.

 

 

I hope you know this isn’t me–it’s my MS.

 

I hope I can stay awake at the movie.

 

I hope they don’t notice the sauce I spilled on my pants.

 

I hope I feel better tomorrow.

 

I hope this scooter has enough power to make it through the store.

 

How many points do I score?

How many points do I score?

 

 

I hope you don’t mind, but after a shower & getting dressed–I need a break.

 

I hope my leg doesn’t spasm as I drink this hot cup of coffee.

 

I hope no one notices my limp.

 

 

I hope I can make it to that chair.

 

I hope my fingers let me button this shirt.

 

I hope today is as bright as my spirit.

 

I hope this line goes quickly.

 

Let me pound my head against it!

Let me pound my head against it!

I hope I get the refill before my meds run out.

 

I hope you understand.

 

I hope people judge me for what’s inside–not out.

 

I hope MS noticed I passed on ice cream and ate more veggies.

 

and finally,

 

I hope this bit comes to an end soon.

 

What hope do you hold?  I encourage you to share it with a comment.

Here’s hoping for your best!

 

sock

 

 

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15. May 2015

1 Comment

First Class Love

 

 

Through rain, snow, sleet or hail.

Through rain, snow, sleet or hail.

It is widely known the United States Postal Service is in a severe financial crisis.

Some estimate the U.S.P.S. is losing $42,335,766 per day!

A net loss of more than $750 million in the first quarter of this year alone!

And more than $47 billion in the past ten years!

As officials scramble to save the floundering agency by proposing rate increases and eliminating Saturday service, others argue that is not enough to offset the staggering losses.

 

 

But here at My Odd Sock, we see it a different way.

The U.S.P.S.’ key to success isn’t raising prices & cutting service–but using their vast knowledge of YOUR likes, hobbies, occupation & interests–and creating a new business venture….

 

First Class love!

First Class love!

 

…the United States Postal Service Love Brokers.

 

Yes, a dating service!

 

 

 

Think about it, who knows you better than the one who delivers your mail?

They know where you work and what you do for a living.

They deliver magazines of your interests.

They deliver mail for organizations you support.

Your mail person probably knows which political party you belong.

Even what ails you.

It’s safe to say the postal service knows you better than many of your friends.  And they also know the same about everyone in your neighborhood—so why not let THEM find YOU a soul mate?

 

Go ahead, lick my stamp!

Go ahead, lick my stamp!

 

 

To heck with eHarmony’s countless questions.

Screw Match, Cupid, Christian Mingle, Black People Meet .com and all those other dating sites.

Who needs’em!

 

Let the trusted mail delivery professional be your love consultant!

 

Find true love right in your own neighborhood with help from the U.S.P.S.

 

 

Turn your love life from this…..

From This...

From This…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To This!

To This!

 

 

BOING!!!

 

To this…..

 

 

 

 

 

The United States Postal Service & Love Brokers…A dating service bringing new meaning to the phrase “overnight delivery.”

 

Deficit & problem solved.

You’re welcome, postal service.  You are welcome.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

Continue reading...

9. May 2015

2 Comments

Dumb Ads

 

If it's dumb, you'll find it here.

If it’s dumb, you’ll find it here.

 

 

At My Odd Sock, we live for the silly.

We loathe for the ridiculous.

And when it comes to advertising, we consumers get more than our bloated share of the stupid.

But that’s why I’m here (you can thank me later), to point out the absurd, snicker at the amusing and gag at the ludicrious.

 

Here are a couple of gems I found recently…..

 

 

Suck in that gut, fella!

Suck in that gut, fella!

 

Kohl’s Department Store has this handsome guy all decked out!

Too bad his Haggar sport coat looks three sizes too small.

 

But it’s a “tailored look”.  Yeah, tailored for a pre-puberty adolescent!

 

Guy:  “I don’t know what happened–it used to fit!  Maybe I shouldn’t have had Chipotle before the shoot!”

 

Geez, unbutton the button, dude.  You’ll be able to breathe then!

 

 

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

 

Lastly, Dollar General dresses all the radical extremists of the world…..

 

They have your style!

They have your style!

 

Yes, it’s camo styles for the entire family!

Honestly, I didn’t know camo was considered a “style.”

Men, ladies, boys & girls—the radical family that camos together disappears from society together!

And thank goodness Dollar General adds the disclaimer “Excludes Sunglasses and Straw Hats.”

Because we wouldn’t want the fanatical, hard-line, zealot family to blend in with the crowd!

 

 

So you see, dumb ads are everywhere around us.  You simply must take a good look and soak them in.

I’ll be sure to keep my eyes peeled to share any goofy stuff and I encourage you to do the same.

Happy shopping.

sock 

 

 

 

Continue reading...

5. May 2015

3 Comments

The Two-Hour Nap

 

Me snoozing away.

Me snoozing away.

 

I sat straight-up right.  Twisted my head to squint at the clock on the VCR.

There I couldn’t believe my eyes.  No, it wasn’t the fact that we still owned a VCR…but that the clock said it was 11:24am.

I had been asleep for TWO HOURS!

I took a two-hour nap BEFORE 12 noon.  WTF!

 

Why was that so troubling you ask?

 

 

 

MS at the slumber party.

MS at the slumber party.

 

Because while everyone else in my family was busy at work & school, being productive, I was the lone invitee (and guest of honor) to a slumber party.

While the rest of my family was busting their butts, I was lying flat on mine, reading the inside of my eyelids.

And I squarely place the blame on MS.

 

Multiple sclerosis has not only stolen my ability to move, but now it is chipping away at my energy—and making me feel bad about restoring my reserves.

 

You rat bastard MS!

 

The Funny Meter.  Lovely.

The Funny Meter. Lovely.

 

Oh geez.

Figured it was about time for the Funny Meter to appear.

Leave me alone.

Don’t you have an Adam Sandler movie to rate?

Better yet, why not ride your Segway over to the MultiPlex to check out “Mall Cop 2.”

That should blow your circuit board!

 

Pardon but now where was I?

Oh yeah.  My point is MS-related fatigue is bound to happen.  And your job as an MSer is to accept the new limitations while not letting it weaken your own self-worth.

(Yep, it is easier said than done, I know!)

You are still the same high-energy parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, co-worker and person you always were—it just takes you longer to complete the task.  And you may need some rest, even a nap to tide you over.

But it’s OK.

Honest.

sock

 

 

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27. April 2015

5 Comments

MS-A-Band

 

 

You got the beat?

You got the beat?

 

It’s time to jam with My Odd Sock’s “MS-A-Band.”

What’s that?

“MS-A-Band” is where we inject, err sorry, I mean infuse, eh no better, I meant add some multiple sclerosis to our favorite bands, singers & musical artists.

 

 

A fun, mash-up of music and MS.  A tingly DX of solos and brain scans!

 

Let’s boogie as we “MS-A-Band”…..

 

Where’s Elton’s John

 

Mariah Carey-Me

 

Bay City Rollators

 

Too Crowded House

 

R-R.E.M.

Where's Billy Raye?

Where’s Billy Raye?

 

 

 

Myelin Cyrus (pictured)

 

Stevie Wonder Drug

 

Legs Heavy As Led Zeppelin

 

Great White Brain Matter

 

The Notorious M.R.I.

 

Legs In Quiet Riot

 

Fall Down Boy

 

the rapper, LM-AFO

 

George Can’t Walk Strait

 

Where's the button?

Where’s the button?

 

The Handicap Doors

 

Run D.M.D.

 

Stepped In Dog-Foo Fighters

 

Reba MyEntire Body Is Numb

 

Donna Summer’s Too Hot

 

Dire Gaits

 

Metallica Taste In My Mouth

 

Scary looking AND haggard.

Scary looking AND haggard.

 

Merle I Feel Haggard

 

Gotta Wiz Again Khalifa

 

Tears For MS Fears

 

and finally,

Bruised Deep Purple

 

 

Got a favorite MS band you would like added to the playlist?

Please share with a comment.

Meanwhile, I think I’ll enjoy some blues with “Fell In Muddy Waters.”

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continue reading...

25. April 2015

Comments Off

It’s A Party

 

DEA issue equipment.

DEA issue equipment.

 

What is going on?

 

The wild parties.  Drinking.  Carousing.  Sex with prostitutes.

It’s a party and it is out of control!

 

Recent details have surfaced to reveal members of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency participating in episodes of unrestrained debauchery.

 

Of course, being the responsible citizen that I am, My Odd Sock conducted his own investigation to get to the bottom of the keg issue.  Here are my findings…

 

The DEA HQ.

The DEA HQ.

 

My inquiry began at the D.E.A. headquarters pictured here.

 

 

Although it resembled a fraternity house from the outside and was located in a campus setting surrounded by other Greek affiliations, it appeared to be “by the book professional” to my roving eye.

 

 

I believe it was "casual Friday."

I believe it was “casual Friday.”

 

 

 

 

Inside, I was promptly greeted by Chaz, a senior staff leader.

 

(He appeared rather thirsty)

 

 

 

 

 

The DEA's team of professionals.

The DEA’s team of professionals.

 

 

Chaz led me on a lengthy & detailed tour of the D.E.A.’s facility.

 

I met many other members of the division.

 

 

 

This agent is up to there in details.

This agent is up to there in details.

 

 

 

Each one, clear & concise, on the purpose and mission of eradication of illegal drugs into this country.

 

 

 

 

Sophisticated communication system.

Sophisticated communication system.

 

 

I learned the highly-skilled techniques of undercover work from the agents themselves.

 

Pictured here are two agents using tools of the trade to cover their mouths while discussing an ongoing operation.

 

 

 

Doing what it takes to get information.

Doing what it takes to get information.

 

 

And although the D.E.A.’s methods of interrogation may seem excessive to some, officials are quick to get the information they want & need.

 

Here a young, female informant is questioned while enduring what I was told, was a form of waterboarding.

 

 

Just the facts, sir.

Just the facts, sir.

 

 

Sometimes, agents collect more details than they want.

 

To the left, a man spills his guts during an investigation of illegal narcotics.

 

 

 

To Summarize:

The media may report glorified stories to get higher ratings, but during my investigation, I can attest to you of finding NO evidence of riotous behavior.

The D.E.A. is and will continue to be a protective authority to you, me and every citizen of the United States of America.

God bless the USA.

sock

 

 

 

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