20. March 2017

4 Comments

MS Motivations

 

E gads!

E gads!

 

When you have multiple sclerosis, who can’t use a little motivation now & again.

But where do you find such messages?

Well, look no further than My Odd Sock for spirited quips sure to put a skip in your gimpy step!

 

 

Here are some specially crafted gems of positivity for your motivational enjoyment…..

 

How true!

How true!

 

Nice!

Nice!

 

My shoes!

My shoes!

 

Give me a boost.

Give me a boost.

 

Hey now!

Hey now!

 

Small steps.

Small steps.

 

Clean your plate.

Clean your plate.

 

Ooo, People!

Ooo, People!

 

Had to have 1 motivator in the lot.

Had to have 1 motivator in the lot.

 

Heck yeah!

Heck yeah!

 

Don't even knock.

Don’t even knock.

 

Forget that.

Forget that.

 

Not so sure.

Not so sure.

 

Ah, bet you are now ready to tackle the world!  (Either that or stare intently into the sun.)

Whatever you choose, may you go forward with confidence & poise.

Inspire away, my MS friend.

sock

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14. March 2017

1 Comment

Sleep Pattern

 

Getting drowsy already.

Getting drowsy already.

 

 

Of all the silly, crazy things multiple sclerosis does to your body during the day, the fun doesn’t stop when the sun goes down.

Heck no!

With a shift change, the MS Night Crew clocks in & takes over for even more merry mischief.

 

 

While most MS-free folks are peacefully drooling into their pillows, those with MS experience a buffet of nightly symptom activity.

I, for one, have the usual mid-night potty run.  But also spasms, jerks, jumpiness, tossing, turning, cramping, numbness, itchiness, scratching, stretching, thinking, freting, rooting & nesting.

It’s enough to exhaust a zoomba class.

Smoking & its not even a Samsung!

Smoking & its not even a Samsung!

 

 

A Fitbit would overheat trying to track my sleepy-time activity!

 

It is for this reason my wife  I sleep in separate beds.

She needs her rest as she must work all day…while I do what it is I do all day (Uncertain at this point!).

Which brings me to my next dilemma.

Our spare bedroom, where I rest my ginormous head, has a lovely new pillow-top mattress.

“Pillow-top” is all the rage now.

Cozy & comfy if you sleep steady like a hybernating bear—but if you are an “active” MS sleeper like myself, a pillow-top mattress is like a quicksand deathtrap.

The more you move, the deeper you sink.

Yes, my left arm is much shorter than the right.

Yes, my left arm is much shorter than the right.

 

 

In fact, if it weren’t for the bottom sheet, I might sink all the way to the box springs!

 

A pillow-top mattress reminds me of the packing around an action-figure.  Snug everywhere.  So much so, when I get up–you’ll see the outline of my body on the bed.

 

Speaking of getting up…when you have a full bladder & spasticity, poker-straight legs, I must flail like a turtle on its back…kicking, reaching, clawing at anything to help right myself.

Need more work on my calves.

Need more work on my calves.

 

My strong, muscular, hairless legs are rendered useless by the soft, cushiness of a pillow-top mattress.

I grab at the sheets, pulling myself sideways, teetering on the mattress edge, before toppeling out of bed & onto the floor below.

It’s my nightly MS struggle from the edge of darkness to the dawn’s early light.

 

Time has taught me to watch my evening consumption of fluid.  A dose of Baclofen before bed as well as a nightly stretching routine have eased my troubles & improved my sleep.

Has MS changed your sleep pattern?  How do you cope?

Day or night, multiple sclerosis goes about its aggravating business with swift, steady detail.

It is up to you to find a sleep routine that works best for your particular situation.

Like reading this post before bedtime—that would make anyone drowsy.

Nighty night.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

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10. March 2017

3 Comments

Odds & Evens

 

Mostly odd, I guessing.

Mostly odd, I guessing.

 

My Odd Sock works hard to be your agent of the absurd, proctor of the pointless & steward of the stupid.

And this quick post certainly lives up to my low standards.

Here are a couple of items, I’m hopeful will leave you with a weekend smile.

Enjoy!

 

 

Attention Editor:  A re-wording of this headline MAY be neccessary…..

 

Though its growing on me

Though its growing on me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The words “Boner” and “endowment” shouldn’t be in the same sentence!

 

 

          *          *          *          *          *

 

And, as we all know it’s tax time.

Here is Form 1040V direct from the IRS…..

 

Legal mumbo-jumbo.

Legal mumbo-jumbo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Careful reading and you’ll find this important reminder…..

 

 

How many zero's?

How many zero’s?

 

“Damn, what am I gonna do now?

               *reading further*

“Oh okay, I can write TWO checks for $50 mill each.  No prob.

 

I’m glad the IRS made that clear.

Now YOU know.

 

Have a tremendous weekend!

 

sock

 

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6. March 2017

6 Comments

What Gives?

 

I'm still learning.

I’m still learning.

 

What Gives?

That’s what I wanna know.

One would think with over 20 years of experience, a person might know something.

After twenty years of marriage, you are pretty familiar with your partner.

Twenty years on the job?  It’s safe to say you know your way around the shop.

 

But after twenty years of having multiple sclerosis (21 to be exact), I realize I know doodly-squat.

 

I write this, hoping maybe, you’ll admit knowing doodly-squat about your MS as well.

 

What gives?…when you are fine one morning, but you are all funky the next?

The legs don’t want to move.

Maybe your fingers stumble through manuevers like the hands are in jello-salad.

Or your eyes are jumpy.

Muscles twitch.

And tighten.

Small bills please.

Small bills please.

At least the bladder remains active.

So OVER-active, my tree-trunk legs can’t move fast enough to get me into the potty in time.

It’s like your real body has been kidnapped, replaced with a lethargic version, while you wait for the ransom note.

 

 

 

What Gives?…you ask yourself in search for clues & causes before going through a lengthy checklist that rivals the pre-flight of a major airline.

Is it the weather?  Too hot?  Too cold?

Did I sleep well enough?  Sleep too much?

Have I exercised?  Or stretched?

Am I due for spasticity pills?

Is it rainy?  Or sunny?

Is it these shoes?  How ’bout these pants?

Damn grafitti.

Damn grafitti.

 

Did I do too much?

Have I been sitting too long?

Was it what I ate?

Have I been drinking enough?  (Water, of course)

Is it a flare?  How long has it lasted?

Am I nit-picking?

Am I going crazy?

 

Now we're getting somewhere.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

 

 

What gives?

So I decided to Google it.

Figuring Google will have the answer I need.

 

 

 

THAT I know!

THAT I know!

 

 

There I see nothing beneficial, except for the option “what gives you gas.”

 

That’s easy…I’m a 53 year-old male…EVERYTHING gives me gas.

 

That sums up my twenty year experience with MS.

I’m still asking “What Gives?” because I know doodly-squat.

How much do you know?

 

sock

 

 

 

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27. February 2017

4 Comments

I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Planet

 

Tasty & good for you!

Tasty & good for you!

All my years in school (including the repeated years), we learned of the nine planets in our solar system:  Mercury, Venus (where women are from), Earth, Mars (where men are from), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus (the fav of immature males), Neptune and Pluto.

 

All was well & good as the stars aligned in perfect order till 2006 when someone upset the perverbial jar of Tang.

 

That was the year “experts” bemoaned Pluto wasn’t big enough to hang with real planets, and thus, it was demoted to a “dwarf.”

 

Pluto’s new designation as a “dwarf planet” was a cold shoulder to the icy sphere.

Poor thing.  It’s been hanging out there on the end with not much to do.  And no real purpose.  Pluto was kind of like the little toe of planets.  It certainly didn’t deserve a demotion!

 

Thankfully things are looking up for this cosmic body.

 

POTUS speaking out on Pluto.

POTUS speaking out on Pluto.

 

 

First, President Trump ordered a special investigation on Pluto’s behalf.

Findings revealed three to five million illegal scientists may have voted in favor of the demoted status.

 

 

Some scientists may have voted more than once, according to the President.

 

Proof doesn't lie.

Proof doesn’t lie.

 

 

 

Reports even go so far as to claim busloads of scientists were sent across statelines to vote illegally.

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, a group of NASA scientists have proposed a new definition of what constitues a planet.

 

No standing on tip-toes!

No standing on tip-toes!

 

 

 

These new standards should work in favor of Pluto reclaiming its status as our ninth and smallest member of the solar system.

 

 

 

 

"And the planet is..."

“And the planet is…”

 

 

NASA will make its decision soon and make an official announcement with help of Faye Dunaway & Warren Beatty.

 

Let’s hope the get it right this time.

 

 

sock

 

 

 

 

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20. February 2017

3 Comments

In The Lobby

 

You’ve had a rough go of it lately.

The weather hasn’t been cooperative.  Neither has your body.

Your spirits seem as low as your energy level.

You try to shake it.  Change your routine.  Mix it up a little bit.

But whatever it is….it hangs on draped like a wet coat.

It is frustrating.  Confusing.  And not you what-so-ever.

Your chin rests on your chest because it is too tiresome to hold your head up.

 

It feels good here.

It feels good here.

 

Then, one day, you discover a glimmer of promise.

A small morsel of comfort knowing you are not alone.

 

Who knew outside of those automatic doors we could be so different—but inside, we are so much the same!

 

Of course I’m referring to the lobby of your neurologist, your CNP or where ever you go to fight your MS.

In the lobby, we are all one.

We share similar stories, treatments, experiences.  Yet we have one common goal.

In the lobby, we tell of heartbreak and hope…often without saying a single word.  Just a simple nod can be the nudge of acknowledgement that speaks volumes.

In the lobby, we make no notice of ticks, tremors or how you got that scrape on your forehead.

And you don’t need to explain–we know.

So next time you find yourself in the lobby, put down that dog-eared magazine you’ve read before and look around.  Make eye contact.  Say hello.

As your support may be just what someone needs to brighter possibilities.

 

          *          *          *          *          *          *

 

On a lighter side, here’s a parody verse to the Village People’s song “In The Navy”…

 

Sing it loud!

Sing it loud!

In the lobby

you’ll see MS of all degrees.

In the lobby

you can put your mind at ease.

In the lobby

we’re all in the same boat.

In the lobby

we’re known as slo-pokes.

In the lobby, in the lobby.

sock

 

 

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