24. May 2016

3 Comments

MS Memorial

A post of rememberance.

A post of remembrance.

Next Monday is Memorial Day, a time to honor & remember those who served and gave their lives for our freedom.

Memorial Day means a lot to me–and I get quite emotional at observances. I think of the great-uncle I never knew who died on D-Day at Normandy…a cousin I barely knew who was killed in Vietnam…to my dad who was missing in action for several days after jumping off a cliff to avoid capture in Korea.

At Memorial Day I also think about years gone by, people past & present and where the heck time has gone.  How multiple sclerosis has affected my life is lumped in all that thinking as well.

That being said, My Odd Sock would like to offer this MS themed holiday remembrance called…”MS Memorial.”

Enjoy.

Here we go...

Here we go…

 

Before MS, I remember running for miles—and enjoying it!

 

Before MS, I remember when I could pass a bathroon door without the urge to enter.

 

Reliving the day of having a conversation without yawning.

 

Remembering when air conditioning was a perk not a necessity.

 

Memorializing the day I could button a dress shirt.

 

Got that right.

Got that right.

 

Looking back to when I was walking without holding, touching or leaning on something.

 

When I could ride a bike.

 

When I shivered from the cold and not from muscle spasms.

 

Before MS, I remember when I could tell I was bleeding.

 

Or how I got that bruise.

 

Reliving going to a movie without falling asleep.

 

Patriotic camo!

Patriotic camo!

 

I remember wearing a vest for fashion instead of temperature control.

 

Looking back at days of driving a stick-shift.

 

Or driving ANY vehicle with my feet.

 

Remembering when I stood to pee.

 

Reliving the days of walking without worry of ground surface, slope, what shoes, temperature, sun exposure, accessibility & bathroom proximity.

 

The bald My Odd Sock

The bald My Odd Sock

I remember using a napkin and not a bib.

 

When I could cook without sitting.

 

Memorializing when my writing was legible.

 

And finally, remembering when I could remember.

 

MS or not, have a tremendous Memorial Day everyone.

sock

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17. May 2016

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Use Your Tools

 

This is no DIY project.

This is no DIY project.

 

As one with multiple sclerosis, walking, yeah simple walking, can be a misadventure of mobility.  (Tell me something I don’t know!)

But trying to carry something while walking can be a downright catastrophe!

Especially if you are like me and use a mobility aid like canes, crutches, rollator, wheelchair, scooter…or a combo of all the above!

When the hands are busy helping you stay upright and you find the need for an extra one to hold keys, a purse, a book–whatever, it’s time to dig deep and use all the tools at your disposal.

 

Here are a few of my favorite ways to make things easier when MS has your hands full…..

 

Pockets

 

I love pockets.  Shirt pockets.  Pants pockets.  Pockets in my coat.  I can put my stuff in a pocket.

I am a fashion plate, yes.

I am a fashion plate, yes.

The greatest fashion trend ever for the MSer is/was cargo pants/shorts.

The more friggin pockets–the merrier.

My cargo shorts have more pockets than I have junk to put in them!

The problem with cargo clothing & having MS is that I cannot remember what I put where.  That’s why (as you can see from the picture) I try to reserve a specific pocket for each item.  Everytime.

Sure it may seem OCD/anal, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

Bags

 

That crinkle you hear as I walk isn’t my underwear—it’s a plastic shopping bag I carry.  Because you never know when you might need a bag to carry something.

Ugg, nothing but bills.

Ugg, nothing but bills.

 

 

Plastic bags are extra handy when you get the mail.  Putting the mail in a bag to carry eliminates any chance of dropping the electric bill in the driveway.

 

They are great too for the unexpected delivery of catalogs, mail-order drugs and other odd-shaped postage.

 

Just what I was waiting for.

Just what I was waiting for.

 

 

 

Oh for cryin out loud, that’s all I need—another big flippin blue coupon from Bed Bath & Beyond.

They send so many, I use them to shingle the roof of my shed.

Just how many vanilla candles does one need?

 

 

Mouth

 

Dude, at least shave.

Dude, at least shave.

 

Yes, your mouth—the perfect grabber!

Think of it, a commercial comes on—you want a quick snack but you don’t want to miss the show.

Just shove something in your piehole and scurry back to your seat before the break is over.

When you use canes or crutches, the mouth is a natural extra hand.

(Helps too having an enormous mouth to hold a sandwich!)

 

 

Basket

 

Who's ready for a cold one?

Who’s ready for a cold one?

 

Of course the basket beneath a rollator (even the seat) is a great place to put your stuff on the go.

 

As you can see from the photo, the rollator basket makes a super place to chill my beverages.

 

 

 

So use your tools.  Use’em all.

As an MSer, you’re a crafty sort and probably have a few tricks of your own to help carry things when an extra hand is needed.

Let us know your secret.

Together we’ll get by just fine.

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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12. May 2016

2 Comments

What’s For Sale

 

Another cheesy title pic

Another cheesy title pic

 

“That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!” is Kenny Bania’s famous line from a classic episode of Seinfeld.

Through the years, My Odd Sock has struck gold in goofy ads from the classified section of the local paper.

The following gem was given to me by a dear friend who knows my fondness for the stupidly ridiculous.

 

Enjoy…….

 

 

Print media at its best.

Print media at its best.

 

Anyone need a Jeer Wrangler?

Definition of a “jeer” is a “rude and mocking remark.”

 

So here are a few…..

-Your spelling sucks!

-The paper’s editor flunked out of colledge.

-Spellcheck threw itself off the tallest monitor.

 

 

Or maybe the person is selling his girlfriend.

I mean, according to the ad, she IS a “New Wench” with a “Good Body.”

Not to mention she comes with over “$4,000 of parts & accessories.”

The owner is willing to trade it all for a truck…preferably a Forb or a Chezy, I suppose.

 

To sum up, I’m not really sure what the hell this person is selling, but it’s obvious they’re using the dictionary to prop up the broken end of the couch.

 

If you have any ideas or are interested in the number, give me a comment & I’ll share the details.

Otherwise, thanks for reading and happy shopping!

sock

 

 

 

 

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26. April 2016

4 Comments

Pick-A-Caption

 

 

Quiz time kids!

Quiz time kids!

 

 

Time for a little multiple sclerosis fun (Duh, when isn’t MS fun?).

In this mindless post (Duh, aren’t they ALL mindless?), you’ll be given a picture and three possible captions.

Your job is to pick the caption that best describes the picture.

Sound fun?

So easy, let’s begin…..

 

 

#1

There there.

There there.

 

What is being said…

A)-  You’ll make it through this.

B)-  You did your best.

C)-  How many times are they gonna show that damn commercial for Tecfidera?

 

 

 

#2

Sing along...

Sing along…

 

 

 

This image shows…..

A)-  facilities for all

B)-  accomodations for all family needs

C)-  how The Brady Bunch has really changed

 

 

 

 

#3

No cutting!

No cutting!

 

 

This crowd is…..

A)-  watching a concert

B)-  attending a rally

C)-  waiting to use the only handicap-accessible stall

 

 

 

#4

So pretty.

So pretty.

 

This chart shows…..

A)-  an assortment of shapes

B)-  a coloful kid’s toy

C)-  the # of opinions you hear on how to “cure” MS

 

 

 

#5

What the?

What the?

 

This illustration represents…

A)-  the human digestive system

B)-  how the large & small intestine work together

C)-  a funnel cake from the county fair

 

 

 

#6

 

Smile & say cheese

Smile & say cheese

 

This image…

A)-  shows MRI results

B)-  helps doctors determine MS activity

C)-  proof brains do exist in the Kardashians

 

 

 

#7

Hmm

Hmm

 

 

The pie-chart diagrams…

A)-  the different types of MS

B)-  classification of MS diagnosis

C)-  The portion size of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.  (See below)

 

That's more like it!

That’s more like it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sock

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22. April 2016

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Anatomy of a Slugger

 

 

 

Play ball!

Play ball!

 

 

Baseball season is in full swing.

Neighborhood ball diamonds are a flurry of activity as players & teams strive for greatness.

The unmistakeable sound of bat meeting ball takes me back years ago to my own scrappy play on the fields.

The choking dust blowing as an ump calls balls & strikes.

The rythmic chatter lulling a batter to “Swing!”

 

 

Team photo.

Team photo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My ball career began as a member of the lowly “Pilots.”

A motley collection of Johnny Bench wanna-bes.

Our intrepid leader was Coach Smokey.

That’s me standing next to coach in an obvious attempt to brown-nose more playing time.

What you can’t see in the picture was how Coach Smokey got his name.  He was never without a cigarette.  Lucky Strikes were his favorite, and ours too, as no one on the team could escape the cloud of second hand smoke.

We didn’t have a team trainer—we had a team respiratory therapist!

 

Should be in the Hall.

Should be in the Hall.

 

 

But enough about the team.

This is about me.

The makings of a .200 hitter and the anatomy of a future slugger.

 

First, my stance.

I show good balance.  Head up.  Knees bent.  Feet shoulder width.

 

But let us take a closer look…..

 

 

IMG_0005

Oh my God.  Look at the size of that head!  It’s almost as big as a strike zone!

Hard pressed to find a ball cap–much less a batting helmet to fit this cranialpod.

 

It’s also good to bat with an open mouth to catch bugs or an errant fastball.

 

 

My arms?  Well let’s just say I was following the Olive Oyl exercise program.

Hangman has bigger muscles!

 

There you go!

There you go!

 

A good swing begins with a solid foundation.

That’s why I wore low-cut Converse.

Who needed spikes?  Not me!

Especially when you just happened to have socks that matched the Pilots’ team-color.

Athletic AND a fashion plate?  Guilty as charged.

 

 

One-pack abs.

One-pack abs.

 

Finally the power of a swing comes from the mid-section and we see I was sporting the requisite pot-belly popular with so many baseball players.

(Hey you get hungry in right field!)

I kept it under wraps by wearing a leather belt with my baseball pants.  You don’t see too many big-leaguers today wearing a dress belt.  Wonder why?

Or course you can’t see the atomic wedgie I got going on the backside.  Typically, baseball players fiddle with their crotch in the batter’s box–but not me.  As I would step up to the plate I needed to do a reach around to pull everything out of the crack of my ass.  (Sing along with me…”Buy me some peanuts and bu-ut crack.”)

 

There you have it.

The complete insight into my ball career as a member of the Pilots.

Take this knowledge & put it to use as you enjoy the boys of summer.

For now you know the “Anatomy of a Slugger.”

sock

 

 

 

 

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19. April 2016

4 Comments

MR Not MS

 

Pure fiction.

Pure fiction.

 

 

According to the National MS Society, multiple sclerosis is at least two to three times more common in women than men.

 

For the overwhelming majority of female patients, the abbreviation MS is fitting as MS, like Mrs & Miss, is also a proper greeting.

 

 

But as one of the few gents with multiple sclerosis, I was daydreaming about if the tables were turned…and more males had MS than females (kinda like prostate cancer).

If this was true, would MS then become MR? (As in “Mister”)

And would the symptoms of the newly coined MR be different from MS?

 

Here is my rough draft of symptoms exhibited by a male patient with MR.  

(Be sure to carefully look for these warning signs in all males in your circle.)

 

Does He…..

 

  • Actually listen

  • Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher

  • Channel surf at a much slower pace

Not neatly, but hanging.

Not neatly, but hanging.

 

  • Hang up his wet towel

  • Have diminished grilling skills

  • Claim to know nothing about something

  • Burp to himself

  • Drive with courtesy & patience

  • Change his shirt w/o being told

 

 

Who uses bar soap?

Who uses bar soap?

 

  • Return the soap “hair-free”

  • Tire of the endless E. D. commercials

  • Find what he needs w/o asking

  • Sit in the chair so others can use couch

And finally

  • Turn over command of the remote

 

Again if a male you know shows any of these warning signs, he may be suffering from MR, the male version of MS.

Consult a doctor, who may schedule an immediate “MR-i.”

If you have noticed other symptoms of MR not listed above, please alert us with a comment to your important findings.

Happy healing.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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