25. April 2017

13 Comments

Know Your Abrasion

Because I have run out of time, let’s roll with a My Odd Sock from the archives.  I hope you enjoy…and can relate (safely)! 

 

 

test your knowledge

Let’s play an MSer’s favorite game of cuts, scrapes and bruises.  It’s time for….

“Know

Your

Abrasion”

 

 

 

bruiseHmm, a bruise on your arm.

Did you…

A)  Catch your arm on a closet door.

B) Run into the fence post.

C) I have MS, I don’t remember.

 

 

 

IMG_0321Ouch, that scrape on your knuckles seems painful.

Did you…

A) Reach into the tool box.

B) Touch the sharp edge under the sink.

C) I have MS, I’m not sure.

 

 

 

scratchWhat did you do to your leg?

Did you…

A) Scrape it on the concrete steps.

B) Scratch it on the edge of the deck.

C) I have MS, what scratch?

 

 

 

My point is, living with multiple sclerosis, I (and you) tend to acquire many unexplained nicks, marks, cuts, bumps & bangs.

Often we can’t explain how we got them!

Having no feeling from the armpits down, My Odd Sock seems to collect skin abrasions like a Salvation Army kettle collects pocket change!

I find marks on my body and have no idea where they came from.  Family & friends find that truly amazing.  Heck, I don’t even feel the blood running down my leg!

Sometimes I’ll be doing something and realize “that may leave a mark.”  And you betcha, later, I’ll be drying off after a shower and find blood on my towel.

Are we superhuman?

Do we have high pain tolerance?

Nah, we just have MS!

Are you one with multiple sclerosis who finds unexplained “ouchies?”

Tell me your side—and don’t get any blood on the keyboard!

 

 

scrapesWhat happened to your arm?

Did you…

A) Scrape it trimming the roses.

B) Fall in the laundry room.

C) I have MS…it matches my knee.

 

 

 

IMG_0325Black & blue seems to be your color.

Did you…

A) Bump into the car door.

B) Hit the corner of the cabinet.

C) I have MS, sh#t happens.

 

 

Answer Guide:   “C” is the correct response to all five questions!

Congratulations, either you have MS or know someone who does!  Thank you for playing.  Be safe.  And we’ll see you next time on “Know Your Abrasion!”

sock

 

 

 

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18. April 2017

6 Comments

MS Stands For…

 

What’s it mean for you?

 

By visiting My Odd Sock one can assume:

A) you are extremely bored & B) you know “MS” stands for Multiple Sclerosis.

 

Though I can’t help you much with your boredom, I CAN show you that when one has the dreaded ick known as “MS,” those two letters mean so much more.

 

Here is My Stab at what MS Stands for…..

 

Modest Stumble

 

Mustn’t Sour

 

Manage Stress

 

Mishmash Symptoms

 

A Fav of mine.

 

 

Margarita Swiller

 

 

 

 

Money Sucker

 

Mandatory Stamina

 

Muscle Sabatage

 

Mercy Spasm

 

Main Statistic

 

Mullet Shrinkage

 

Mighty Special

 

White socks!

 

 

Must Stand

 

 

 

 

 

Mystery Syndrome

 

Mood Sapper

 

Major Stigma

 

Myelin Savagery

 

Maddeningly Slow

 

Manure Spit

 

Marathon Soak

 

Miffed Stagger

 

Motely Sensations

 

 

Looks restful

 

 

Mattress Snoozer

 

 

 

 

Molecular Salsa

 

Moist Spandex  (way too tight)

 

Mangled Signature

 

Mind Sodoku

 

Move Surely

 

Mambo Shuffle

 

Migraine Somersault

 

Molasses Stampede

 

Mobility Stereotype

 

Maintain Sensibility

 

The purpose of this list was to:

 

Make Smiles

 

but I realize these were

 

Mostly Sophomoric

 

My Sympathy,

 

 

 

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11. April 2017

4 Comments

Dear Sir

 

 

Who writes letters?

 

 

The following is a letter to the man I spoke with last week.

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Sir,

Not sure if you remember me, but I was the guy with two canes slowly shuffling on the school track .

I remember you as you described a recent heart attack that almost killed you.

Not that your story wasn’t memorable enough, but our short chat before hand is the reason for my writing.

I was walking at my usual slower-than-a-snail’s-pace when you passed me.

We exchanged “Good Morning” greetings when you stepped in closer.

In a hushed, concerned voice you added a heartfelt…”I admire your courage.”

Awkward & embarrassed, I replied “Eh, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

(Yep, I am MS’s version of Forrest Gump!)

Though I appreciated your kind words, I just want to say it isn’t about courage.

It’s about doing what you should be doing.

In fact, we’re both doing the same activity (walking) for the same reason…you for your heart & me to keep limber.

It has nothing to do with courage—just doing the right thing.

Like a heart patient in rehab.  Or an MSer doing physical therapy.  Even a cancer patient in chemo.

We don’t have courage.  We’re just doing what we are supposed to do.

You want courage?

Admire members of the military.  They have courage galore.

Or the police.  That is courage every shift of every day.

And firemen.  Courage squared.

Don’t bite me!!!

 

 

My courage, on the other hand?

You should see how much toilet paper I use just to kill a spider in the house.

Ridiculous.

As I said before, thank you for the good intentions but I won’t accept your compliment.

Much as you shouldn’t accept it from me.

Let’s just keep plugging away.  Making ourselves better.

And leave it at that.

See you again at the track!

Regards,

My Odd Sock

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7. April 2017

2 Comments

How Soft Have We Become?

 

Over the top, please.

 

“How soft have we become?” I ask myself examining the toilet paper just purchased from the store.

We seem obsessed with terms like soft, plush, cushiony, comfy & delicate when it comes to our backside.

Like we’ve been using asbestos all these years & we want to change it up.

It is amazing how we as consumers buy into the ridiculous marketing used by TP manufacturers.

 

 

Ahhhh a puppy!

 

 

Kleenex & Cottonelle like to put fluffy puppies on their packaging.

Explain that to me.

Dogs are more apt to scoot across the carpeting in the family room than use Kleenex.

They much prefer a rich berber over 2-ply.

 

 

Bearly predictable.

 

Meanwhile Charmin believes we will relate more to bears wiping their ass.

And God forbid a bear use a brand other than Charmin that leaves toilet paper bits on its rear end.  That’s all we humans need–to get bears more pissed off at us!

Reminds me of an old joke with a new twist…

Q-  Does a bear shit in the woods?

A-  I don’t know, but I hope it uses Charmin.  

(Didn’t say it was funny.)

 

The toilet paper in my home I referenced earlier was Quilted Northern.

 

Not just plush–it’s ultra!

 

The first package was Quilted Northern Ultra Plush with 3 Strong Layers.

A name like that makes it seem as though I’ll be wiping with a fur coat.

It’s quilted.  It’s ultra plush.  With three strong layers.

Sounds like the safety net of the Flying Wallendas.

 

 

Must be sexy too.

 

 

I love the description…..

“Silky.  Smooth.  Soft….to give you the clean feeling you expect and the luxurious feel you desire.”

 

Is this toilet paper?…Or an excerpt from “Fifty Shades of Grey?”

 

 

Covering all bases.

 

The other package was Quilted Northern Ultra Soft & Strong with Cleanstretch.

(That’s a lot to think about.)

 

Quilted.  Ultra soft.  Strong.  With Cleanstretch.

What?  Is this used by Seal Team Six?

 

 

Now you’re talkin.

 

“Flexible.  Strong.  Clean.”

And endorsed by the U.S. Gymnastics squad.

C’mon Northern, I’m wiping–not doing a routine on a pommel horse!

I prefer my toilet paper to be strong when cleaning up while riding an ATV.

Plus, if this is the toilet paper they show holding a stack of coins…all I have to say is if you are pooping pocket change, maybe you should change your diet.

 

How soft have we become is all I’m asking.

The world must think we are pansies in our need for softness.

My 85-year-old mother said she used pages from the Sears catalog when she was a child.  And she added, “you were lucky if you got to use the catalog index.”

 

Boy do I feel ashamed with my Quilted Northern.

Stay soft & strong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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31. March 2017

9 Comments

I Want Ocrevus!

 

What do you do?

What do you do?

 

We have been hearing about this new MS medication in the works for several years.

And finally this week, the FDA granted approval for Ocrevus (short for ocrelizumab).

Now what?

All the high-fives surround Ocrevus because it is the first & only approved treatment for progressive forms of multiple sclerosis.

 

(That’s my kind of MS–Yippee!)

And I am giving it serious consideration.  

Here’s why…

 

I was baptized into the world of MS after my 1st plunge into an MRI in September of 1996.

Several years of Avonex followed…as well as a downward progression.

A switch to Copaxone yielded much the same results.

Rebif too, thus our relationship soured and we parted ways in 2009.

Not exactly beaming confidence.

Not exactly beaming confidence.

 

So for eight years I have been treatment free.

Have I progressed?  Oh you bet.  (In 2009, my 25ft timed walk was nine seconds.  Today it is a glacerial 18 seconds).

Was it smart to go treatment free?  Who knows.

My MS was progressing on meds as it has while off them.

 

Which brings me back to Ocrevus.

Should I?  Will you?

 

My doctor says she has a list of 60-70 patients who could benefit with Ocrevus (myself included).

And she is one of about 15-20 doctors at this MS clinic!  So I think of the many docs & MS clinics around the world…and how many MSers will be clamouring to be put on the business end of an Ocrevus infusion.

Oh the humanity!

Oh the humanity!

 

I envision riots.

Overturned scooters.

Burning alcohol swabs.

How will MS clinics bear the demand for Ocrevus?

Sorry, I do apologize as I get carried away sometimes.

 

Seriously though, I am thinking long & hard about saying yes.

Even my son says “Why wouldn’t you?”

It’s just difficult to admit defeat…believing I can beat MS with a healthy lifestyle only.  

I recall those many days following Avonex shots feeling like sh**, thinking how I am wasting precious time and energy being dozy, achy & lethargic.

I can’t stand side-effects, which is good news for Ocrevus as it is reported to have very few.

 

Lightning in a bottle, I hope.

Lightning in a bottle, I hope.

 

My doctor (and maybe yours too) has been quick to remind me this isn’t a cure.  And Ocrevus doesn’t replace myelin.

On all counts though, things look promising.

Maybe Ocrevus is the “game-changer” MS researchers have long talked about.

What are your thoughts?

Are you happy with your current DMT?

Will you be considering Ocrevus?  Have any doubts?

It can be a big deal switching meds…or in my case, going back on meds.

Whatever you choose, you must believe.  Giving it time & 100 percent.

It’s all we can do.  Decisions await.

Keep moving, my friend.

sock

 

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27. March 2017

2 Comments

Brain Drain #24

 

Back Again!

Back Again!

 

 

Welcome to “Brain Drain,” where I pull the plug to drain the cranium of absurdity.

It has been some time since the last dump, so I must be mellowing in my AARP years!

Here are a few items of note that have floated to the top in recent days.  

Like a turd in the toilet.

 

 

Extra Strength 5-Hour Energy

 

In berry flavor!

In berry flavor!

 

 

Have you seen the tv commercials for “Extra-Strength 5-Hour Energy?”

(The driving music is enough to put you over the edge.)

 

The five hours of energy I get.

But what do they mean by “extra-strength?”

 

A whole damn box!

A whole damn box!

 

 

Does it kick in faster?  Like the 1st hour has 2 or 3 hours of energy?

Or does it last longer…say, six or seven hours?

What if I take a 5-Hour Energy when we turn the clocks back…does that give me an extra hour?

We need clarity damnit.

Extra-Strength 5-Hour Energy, I just don’t understand.

 

Moving onward…..

 

Imaginary Mary

 

Maybe I'll go blind before the premiere.

Maybe I’ll go blind before the premiere.

There’s a new tv show coming to ABC called “Imaginary Mary.”

It’s about a woman, played by Jenna Elfman, who relies on her imaginary friend from childhood to help her through life as a PR exec as well as getting to know her boyfriend’s three kids.

Are you feeling sharp stabs of a steel blade to your intelligence?  Me too.

 

Oh my God, just the premise of this show is enough to explain the Fentanyl epidemic in Hollywood.

 

Please go away!

Please go away!

 

Some producer really sold a bill of goods to ABC on this one.  Wow.

Either that or is being blackmailed by having a pee-pee prostitue vid—wait, that’s someone else.

 

“Imaginary Mary.”  I haven’t seen it & nor will I ever.  If it interests you, I suggest you catch it quick as it won’t last more than 5 or 6 episodes, tops.

 

Lastly…..

 

Kybella

 

Adios double chin!

Adios double chin!

 

The world is about to stop with a new, game-changing medical procedure.

Cancer?  Alzheimer’s?  MS?

No, it’s Kybella, the first & only injectible treatment for a double chin.

(First & only–like we need more than one!)

 

 

Finally, I can stop wearing that turtle-neck tank top in the summer as Kybella can shrink my double chin.

Noticeable difference, I'll give you that.

Noticeable difference, I’ll give you that.

 

How vain have we become?

 

Kybella is an acid that is injected into your chin to reduce fat.

And you thought getting a shot in the arm, leg or belly was bad enough.  How ’bout your chinny-chin-chin?

 

Granted, the before & after photos of Kybella patients are quite remarkable.  But man, I’m just not that ashamed of my profile.

OK, maybe in this case.

OK, maybe in this case.

 

 

Allright it’s a miracle drug, but even Kybella has its limitations.

Kybella wasn’t tested on pelicans for crying out loud!

 

Oh well, maybe the next cure will be for cancer, alzheimer’s or MS.  I’ll keep my double chin crossed.

 

 

 

That does it for this “Brain Drain.”  My head has returned to its normal watermelon size.

Feel free to comment with your own thoughts as we fend forward through another day of life & all its ridiculous glory.

Keep moving.

sock

 

 

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