27. June 2016

0 Comments

GooGooGagGag

 

As one with multiple sclerosis, you are well aware of all the crazy, wacky “cures” touted by a countless number of shucksters on the Internet.

Cranberry, Ginko, Turmeric, Vitamin D, Diets, Bee stings, CCSVI and the list goes on & on.

I’m not one to discredit a treatment option as it may just work for you–but not all.

Believe me, I’ve tried my share too as I grasp & claw for anything to stop the downward slope of progression.  And I figure a “natural” treatment has to be better for the body than any Biogen lab-produced, chemically-inspired, mish-mash  of compounds I can’t spell or pronounce.

Which leads me to my latest jump into the unknown…..

 

Oh here we go.

Oh here we go.

 

Stuck in a traffic jam on a recent trip to Bermuda, my family & I were “trapped” in a taxi driven by Herbert, the self-described “richest Black man in Bermuda.”

Herbert said he was in his 80′s, a graduate of Howard University and married for over 60 years.

 

Over the course of our 1 1/2 hour journey, Herbert lectured nonstop on politics, marriage, business, medicine & everything in between.

 

He said to me…”Daddy, you need to drink Aloe Vera gel.  You lose those canes.  You will be running all over the house!”

 

Glug Glug.

Glug Glug.

 

 

Adding that he was also a Herbalife distributor, Herbert handed me a free bottle of Aloe Vera gel.

“Daddy, you take and be walking.  Chasing Momma” he said.  (Hey now!)

 

I figured who was I to debate the richest Black man in Bermuda.  Besides, he held our life in his driving hands.

 

So when I returned home, it was time to give Aloe Vera gel a try!

 

 

Absolutely putrid looking.

Absolutely putrid looking.

 

I opened the bottle and filled a shot glass.

(What better way to measure, right?)  (Scientific too)

The lumpy, gelatinous goo resembled agar in a petri-dish before it gels.

A shot glass of K-Y jelly.

Aloe Vera gel is NOT appealing to the eye.

 

Well time was a wasting so with that, I poured the slimy gruel down my neck….

 

Like Mom's cookin'

Like Mom’s cookin’

 

 

…And as soon as it went it—it almost came back up in one wretching motion.

Safe to say, Aloe Vera gel is not appealing to the gullet either!

 

It was going to be a torturous 32 ounces of goo-juice unless I figured another way.

 

 

Mmm, lumpy juice!

Mmm, lumpy juice!

 

The next morning & every morning since then, I have been mixing the gel with a small amount of juice making the entire process way more tolerable.

 

From what I have read, Aloe Vera is known primarily as a natural treatment for burns.  But it has anti-inflammatory & antioxidant properties as well.

Aloe Vera can also act as a natural & subtle laxative.

Lord knows, I need help there as MS gives me fits of constipation now & then.  

Note:  For making boom-booms, Aloe Vera has helped.  (Worthy of a smiley face emoji)

 

It is too soon to call for any other benefit, so I’ll keep swilling till the bottle is gone.

If you have ever tried Aloe Vera, I would love to hear what yo have found.

Yep, it’s the crazy things we do to slay the MS monster.

Keep moving my friend.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

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14. June 2016

3 Comments

Twenty Things I Have Learned Having MS

How many can you relate with?  Please enjoy this re-run of an old My Odd Sock…..

 

 

IMG_0684

 

It’s true.  My Odd Sock has been away for quite a while.  (Just long enough for the nightmares to subside, right?)

 

But my time away hasn’t all been wasted.  (Most of it yes, but not all.)

 

Since I have had multiple sclerosis pert near 18 years now, I thought it may be time to share some of my worldly MS knowledge to those who are far less experienced with this chronic disease.

 

That being said, here are “Twenty Things I Have Learned Having MS.”

 

Solumedrol’s metallic taste in your mouth is way better than my cooking.

 

If you can get up in the morning, the rest of the day is icing on the cake.

 

 

#$%&@!!!  C'mon fingers!!

 

 

A button will need fastened when your fingers are at their clumsiest.

 

 

Always make sure the bottom of your cane/crutches are dry.

 

You’ve had MS a long time when pulling up your pants is a challenge.

 

The more you give (donations), the more they seem to ask (donations).

 

Strangers are more than willing to help…by holding doors & helping with a wheelchair.  (Hey, my wallet’s missing!)

 

The handicap curb cut-in always seems to be at the other end.

 

If only Lazy Boy made shower chairs that reclined.

 

 

Reading this crud will certainly put you to sleep!

 

 

If you are reading this at 4am, you probably have MS.

 

The minute you get comfortable is when you have to pee.

 

Balancing my round ass on a round stability ball is near impossible.

 

 

There is always room for one more used syringe in a full Sharp’s container.

 

A majority of those with MS will have cognitive issues, but I can’t remember what percentage.

 

Spasticity strikes more than opportunity.

 

IMG_1397

 

Rollators, scooters and wheelchairs do not need routine tire rotations.

 

The handicap stall is considered to be the “Presidential Suite” of public bathrooms.

 

When giving yourself a shot, you feel an odd connection to that of a junkie.

 

Never fart inside an MRI.

 

And lastly…

 

The shoe on your foot-drop side always looks worse than the other.

 

 

There you have it.  Feel free to add your own insights to the list.

Hopefully, by sharing our valued experience, we can make our lives with MS a little better.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

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7. June 2016

5 Comments

The MS Guide To The Movies

Hope you enjoy the 2nd run of this old My Odd Sock…stale popcorn & all…… 

 

 

hollywoodMy Odd Sock and multiple sclerosis go Hollywood!

Many titles of feature films can be related to MS in some way, shape or form.  My Odd Sock thought it might be fun to draw some red-carpet comparisons to show you how!

 

 

Check out these flicks & what they mean in the world of MS…..

 

 

The Color Purple   (The color of the bruise on your hip from falling.)

A Bridge Too Far   (Heck, when I’m walking everything is too far!)

The Way We Were

Saturday Night Fever   (Describes flu-like symptoms from Avonex shot.)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When It Rains   (MSer’s really get wet!)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind   (Trying to get through a crowd with a rollator.)

The Right Stuff   (Acting like an astronaut inside an MRI tube.)

 

Easy Rider

 

 

 

Easy Rider   (Being pushed in a wheelchair!)

 

 

Poseidon Adventure   (Describes my bladder control issues.)

I, Robot   (Walking like 3CPO)

Footloose   (Foot drop folks can relate!)

Stranger Than Fiction   (The fluttery MS feelings running down your leg)

Seven Times A Day   (Duh!  Describes my urges to pee!)

Slumdog Millionaire   (Those of us on S.S. disability)

The Adventures of Elmo In Grouchland  (My Odd Sock on a bad day)

White Men Can’t Jump   (Especially when we have MS!)

The Money Pit   (Cost of your MS medication)

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang   (My stomach after eating Mexican)

 

Invasion of Body Snatchers

 

 

 

Invasion of The Body Snatchers   (Yeah, what the hell happened to my body?)

 

 

 

The Great Escape   (Trying to get a scooter thru the checkout lane at the grocery)

On Golden Pond   (Having a potty accident while sitting in a wheelchair)

In God’s Hands   (Isn’t everything?)

The Longest Yard and Walking Tall   (A gaited double-feature!)

Finding Neverland   (Buttoning a shirt with fumble-fingers)

Zoolander   (Any meeting of an MS support group!)

Dumb and Dumber   (About an MSer who attempts to do thing he/she shouldn’t—and then tries to do it AGAIN)

 

Demolition Man

 

 

 

Demolition Man   (Guy with MS emptying a dishwasher)

 

 

 

 

The Full Monty   (Trying to keep your balance while pulling up your pants inside a public bathroom stall)

Fahrenheight 451   (The damn temperature inside the doctor’s waiting room!)

Real Genius   (The lazy shopper who leaves his cart in the disabled parking space)

 

And finally, one last movie…

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest   (Any visit to your local Social Security Office)

 

 

We hope you have enjoyed this look at Hollywood’s salute to MS.

If you can think of any movie that relates to your MS experience, please share as we would love to hear it.

See you in the theater!  (I’ll be the one kicking the back of your seat)

sock

 

 

 

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31. May 2016

11 Comments

My Odd Sock’s 500th

 

You sure of a msicount?

You sure of a msicount?

Hard to believe it has been seven years since My Odd Sock germinated from a brain fart of an idea…to the vast waste of Internet bit space it has become today.

This is My Odd Sock’s 500th post…and still not one tidbit of useful information.  (Would you expect any more?)

My Odd Sock began as a bucket list dream of owning a humor website.  A place to publish my stupid jokes & lame writings.

As an unemployed advertising copywriter, My Odd Sock would serve as a place for this writer to keep the edge honed on a razor-sharp wit.  (Having a “razor-sharp wit” was another dream!)  Years later I’m still an unemployed copywriter–just gimpy disabled as well.

 

Sweet words.

Sweet words.

 

 

Writing funny about multiple sclerosis was just another way to stand out.

 

(Like those of us with MS need another way to stand out from the crowd.  Geez.)

 

 

 

 

Thanks teach

Thanks teach

 

 

Many believe writing humor about MS is plain wrong.

But as my blogging friend, Yvonne DeSousa (yvonnedesousa.com) agrees, we write humor as a way to deal with our own MS diagnosis’.

Take that skeptics!

 

 

 

Man of technology!

Man of technology!

 

Because I am old-school, I write every single post–every single joke in longhand before typing into a computer.

 

Here is a picture of the archive of volumes of my work.

 

Great fire-starter material don’t you think?

 

 

Another jokster piling on.

Another jokster piling on.

 

 

Through the years, My Odd Sock has been put through a wringer!  Melted.  Burned.  Bloodied.  Bruised.  Shot from a cannon.  Run over.  Trampled.  Scorched.

 

Yet, being a tough SOB, My Odd Sock continues to pull itself up for another go.

 

 

Humor me silly, Dave.

Humor me silly, Dave.

 

 

Honestly, I was worried about whether there would be enough material to write 25 posts, let alone 500!

 

But the creative faucet continues to drip (along with my allergies) and for that I am thankful.

 

 

 

Comments

 

My Odd Sock loves comments.  Both good & bad.

And over the years, we have collected 2,042 comments.

Most are worthy to post.  Some not so much.

Here are some of the never before seen weirder comments…..

 

“I don’t care about this.”

-LucaKidston

 

“I consider that you are not right.”

-Cecil Morar

 

“I hate the way crack smoke smells.”

-Hubert Belker

 

“Just how much time do you waste on this blog of yours?”

-Almed Wolzen

 

“How can you believe anything this guy says.”

-Lerae Berning

 

“I have read some real rubbish today.”

-We Decide Every Morning

 

“This crap is beyond stupid.”

-Gold Price

 

“I want to give you a huge thumbs up for the info on this post.”

-Penis Advantage Guide

 

“I think your site is gay.”

-abasement

 

“You should take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web.  I wouldn’t vote for you, but hey, someone might.”

-Computer Repair West

 

“You truly suck even a monkey does it far better.”

-Earlean Velunza

 

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve read today.  Congrats, you putz.”

-Lizeth Menefield

 

Ah fans, you gotta love them!

 

Special thanks

Special thanks goes first & foremost to Paul Eckinger of eckingermarketing.com.  Paul does all the heavy lifting of site construction as well as hosting this rag on his burdened servers.  So thankful, Paulie!

Many thanks to my favorite commenters…Margaret & Joanne.

Thanks to Danica Patrick & Go Daddy for the domain name.

Thanks to many special blogger friends…Dan & Jennifer Digmann (danandjenniferdigmann.com), Yvonne DeSousa (yvonnedesousa.com),  Darryl Partridge (livinglifeoncrutches.com), Dave Bexfield (activemsers.org), Dave Jaffe (writegoodtheblog.com) and Kerri (climbingdownhill.wordpress.com).

Kuddos to “Speckled Brain” for keeping my head on straight.

Also a tip of the hat to MS Focus, NMSS Momentum magazine, MS Connection & Guyla Wehman of the Ohio Buckeye Chapter.  Dawn Mitchell Wiley & Mike Clemons of the MS Musketeers, Tracy Rosecrans at Healthline.com.  Plus dictionary.com as I have the vocabulary of a doormat.

 

To the next 500?  Gawd, let’s hope not!  Thank you for reading My Odd Sock and stumbling over my poor sentence structure.

Adios.

sock 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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27. May 2016

3 Comments

Fifth-Grade Frolic

 

 

Oh no, memory lane time.

Oh no, memory lane time.

 

 

The treasures one finds and the memories dredged up when digging through boxes.

A recent excavation uncovered my school yearbook & grade card from the fifth-grade.

 

Join me as we go back in time, won’t you…..

 

 

A school or a factory?

A school or a factory?

 

Ah, Centennial Elementary, where I was basically a warm ass in a wood seat for four years.  (3rd thru 6th grade)

 

As students we thought Centennial was better served as a miminum-security prison.

But today, as an alumus, I realize it was a pretty good place to hang & learn.

 

 

Smile!

Smile!

 

That’s me next to the teacher, Mrs. Nagel.

(I learned to brown-nose at a young age)

She was one of my favorite teachers.

The kid next to me was Neil Armstrong.

He was not related to the astronaut.

 

 

 

What a nerd.

What a nerd.

 

My athletic prowess was honed to a fine edge while at Centennial.

Here I am getting whipped at tetherball by a girl.  Notice she is in short-sleeves while I am wearing a jacket & stocking cap.  I was grunge before grunge was cool.

My vertical leap was measured in centimeters.

I have the same body-posture & facial expression when I have to pee.

 

 

Quite the learner.

Quite the learner.

 

So much for athletics, let’s head back into the classroom.

Here are my grades for the year in reading.

Wow, really setting a high standard here.

Poised to be an Ivy leaguer…..poison ivy.

How does one get “C’s” in reading?  I like to read.  Think I’ll ask for a do-over!

 

 

Oh, thank you Ronald!

Oh, thank you Ronald!

 

All of that lack-luster work in the classroom earned me the distinction as a McDonal’s Scholar.  (Sad, right?)

The only qualification to be a McDonald’s Scholar was the ability to eat a Quarter-Pounder.

 

Mind you…the company spokesman is a clown—how difficult can it be as a McDonald’s Scholar!

 

 

Thank you Mrs. Nagel.

Thank you Mrs. Nagel.

 

Here is a comment from Mrs. Nagel.

The poor lady had terrible dementia.

She was probably referring to Neil Armstrong.

 

 

 

That's me!

That’s me!

 

 

Finally, here is a comment from a fellow student.

Prety much sums up my contribution & success as a fifth-grader.

 

(And yes, I was “promoted” to 6th grade!)

 

Memories.  Share yours in a comment.

 

sock

 

 

 

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24. May 2016

3 Comments

MS Memorial

A post of rememberance.

A post of remembrance.

Next Monday is Memorial Day, a time to honor & remember those who served and gave their lives for our freedom.

Memorial Day means a lot to me–and I get quite emotional at observances. I think of the great-uncle I never knew who died on D-Day at Normandy…a cousin I barely knew who was killed in Vietnam…to my dad who was missing in action for several days after jumping off a cliff to avoid capture in Korea.

At Memorial Day I also think about years gone by, people past & present and where the heck time has gone.  How multiple sclerosis has affected my life is lumped in all that thinking as well.

That being said, My Odd Sock would like to offer this MS themed holiday remembrance called…”MS Memorial.”

Enjoy.

Here we go...

Here we go…

 

Before MS, I remember running for miles—and enjoying it!

 

Before MS, I remember when I could pass a bathroon door without the urge to enter.

 

Reliving the day of having a conversation without yawning.

 

Remembering when air conditioning was a perk not a necessity.

 

Memorializing the day I could button a dress shirt.

 

Got that right.

Got that right.

 

Looking back to when I was walking without holding, touching or leaning on something.

 

When I could ride a bike.

 

When I shivered from the cold and not from muscle spasms.

 

Before MS, I remember when I could tell I was bleeding.

 

Or how I got that bruise.

 

Reliving going to a movie without falling asleep.

 

Patriotic camo!

Patriotic camo!

 

I remember wearing a vest for fashion instead of temperature control.

 

Looking back at days of driving a stick-shift.

 

Or driving ANY vehicle with my feet.

 

Remembering when I stood to pee.

 

Reliving the days of walking without worry of ground surface, slope, what shoes, temperature, sun exposure, accessibility & bathroom proximity.

 

The bald My Odd Sock

The bald My Odd Sock

I remember using a napkin and not a bib.

 

When I could cook without sitting.

 

Memorializing when my writing was legible.

 

And finally, remembering when I could remember.

 

MS or not, have a tremendous Memorial Day everyone.

sock

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