31. March 2015

1 Comment

I Told You, Remember?

 

Fancy title page.

Fancy title page.

“I told you, remember?”

I don’t know about you, but I get that alot.

A-LOT.

During conversations with loved ones, I’ll ask a question and hear “I told you, remember?” as their response.

Sometimes it clicks and I’ll say…”Oh yeah.”

Other times it fizzles & peters out like a damp firecracker.

 

 

 

Being honest, really.

Being honest, really.

 

Is this the dreaded MS-related “cog-fog?”  A memory lapse?  A neurological short-circuit synapsis?

 

Call it what you want—it’s a pain in my rear end.

 

And what bothers me most is that it is happening with more & more frequency.

 

 

 

Quit it brain!

Quit it brain!

My wife says I should get my hearing checked, but I disagree that’s the problem.

 

For over 20 years, I produced lame commercials at a radio station.  So I am trained to hear clips & pops so faint a Beagle would tilt its head.

 

At church I can hear a fart from six pews back…but don’t ask me to remember what I just heard!

 

 

 

Not good with a knife & fork

Not good with a knife & fork

 

Some folks respond by talking to me louder…and slower.

 

Yeah that helps.

 

What am I in kindergarten?

 

Is it my day to be line-leader, I forgot?

 

 

I flunked penmanship.

I flunked penmanship.

 

Thus, my predicament must be MS-related I assume.

The Swiss-cheese myelin of my brain makes collecting a thought as porous as eating soup from a strainer.

Like wearing fish-net stockings is really chilly.  (Again, I assume.  I have no experience wearing stockings.  At least none I’ll admit publically.)

 

 

 

 

So how do we deal with this?

Grin & bear it?  Focus & listen harder?  Shrug our shoulders and shake our heads side-to-side?

I remind you with…”I told you, remember?”

And you’ll say…”Oh yeah.”

sock

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25. March 2015

6 Comments

MS Playtime

 

 

College-educated, but you wouldn't know it.

College-educated, but you wouldn’t know it.

 

We’re all mostly serious & junk about our “platonic” relationships with multiple sclerosis.

 

That’s why My Odd Sock has decided to call recess for a little MS Playtime!

But we can’t play without toys, right?  So I gathered up a few bits to use in poking fun at our dreaded ick.

 

Let’s play kids!….

 

Man-eating beast.

Man-eating beast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stick it to me.

Stick it to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My ship done sailed!

My ship done sailed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have a sudden urge for bananas.

I have a sudden urge for bananas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 1 of 2.

Part 1 of 2.

 

 

 

 

Getting real fancy with a two-parter!

(See below)

 

 

 

Part 2 of 2.

Part 2 of 2.

 

 

 

 

Wow, now wasn’t that worth the wait?

 

 

 

 

 

I prefer mine mashed w/butter.

I prefer mine mashed w/butter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How 'bout a "contrast?"

How ’bout a “contrast?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally…

 

My parents are not proud.

My parents are not proud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That does it for MS Playtime.  I hope you enjoyed our little break from reality!

sock

 

 

 

 

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17. March 2015

6 Comments

Use Your Gift

Please enjoy this repeat My Odd Sock.  

(Translation:  I’m too lazy to write something new!) 

 

 

IMG_2093When you have multiple sclerosis or any other ickiness that ends with “osis,” it’s easy to get down on yourself.

 

Maybe you can no longer cut the rug (dance) like you once did every Friday night at the Grange Hall.

(Grange Hall?…Where did this guy grow up–Mayberry?)

Maybe you don’t have the energy you once had.  Or the balance.  Or the eyesight.  Or, maybe the lack of bladder control has you chained to the bathroom like a dog on a leash.

But don’t despair MSer, as you are still a vibrant, productive personality.

 

You just have to let it shine in your own unique way!

To: You          From: My Odd Sock

 

You must use your gift…..whatever it is.

 

I truly believe each of us has a gift, a knack, a natural talent to do something just a little bit better than the person standing next to us.

 

And we should use our gift to make this world a better place.  (I know that sounds corny but let’s run with it!)

 

 

For example, I know a person who uses her incredible talents on a daily basis to help people walk, dress themselves, feed themselves, even write their name.  To me, this is an overwhelming statement of achievement—to give others the confidence & courage to move forward and try something they were unable to do the day before.

So, back in February of ’09, I was laid-off.  I had MS.  Walking was becoming increasingly more difficult.  And I was quite low.  That’s when I thought I could use my gift of humor to help others lift their spirits (and mine in the process).

 

The Funny Meter

 

 

 

Yeah, I know, the “yuks” are few & far between in this My Odd Sock.

 

 

 

My point is, you must find your gift and use it to help those around you.

 

Your gift doesn’t have to be big to be endearing.  Maybe you bake “kick-ass” cookies….Bake’em and share them!

Look at yourself and use your gift.

 

Send someone a card to perk them up.

Wash their car.

Your gift can be as simple as paying someone a compliment to make their day.

 

It’s amazing the gifts you have to offer!

 

You are rich with talent!

So spend your talent with reckless abandon…like a shopaholic watching QVC!

The premise of a “kid in a candy store” has nothing on you—as the “kid” will soon get an upset stomach at some point.  But you, on the other hand, will NEVER get sick of using your gift to lift the spirit of others.

Ready?  Let’s get started?

sock

Disclaimer:  This sickening, sweet My Odd Sock must have been written by an impostor.  The original, gruff, sarcastic My Odd Sock has been abducted by aliens in an attempt to study his bulbous cranium.

 

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14. March 2015

2 Comments

Clearing History

 

 

 

Where are the wires?

Where are the wires?

 

 

We widely accept how the computer has changed our lives.

 

From the dissemination of information…to research…to communication, the computer has redefined not only how we live in the present, but also how we will live in the future.

 

But until just recently, I had no idea how the computer could change the PAST!

 

 

What the?  Really?

What the? Really?

 

It’s true!

I learned that with one simple click, I could clear history.

Not just clear it, but “Obliterate” it. (Rather harsh phrasing if you ask me.)

And I learned the computer gave me choices.

I could “obliterate” history in the past hour.  The past day.  The past week.  The last four weeks.  Or, from “the beginning of time.”

 

 

That’s a pretty overwhelming choice to someone who eecked out an underwhelming 2.3 GPA in college.

Lowly me had the power to obliterate history from the beginning of time?

Whoa.

 

Brawn, no brains.

Brawn, no brains.

 

With one click I could clear…

…Dinosaurs during the Mesozoic Era.

…Kings during the Georgian Era.

…And baseball during the Steroids Era.

 

 

The power I had to clear history was simply mind-blowing!

 

 

 

When doves cry their beaks run.

When doves cry their beaks run.

 

 

From the beginning of time, I could clear the history of famous revolutions…

 

…the French Revolution…

…the American Revolution…

…Even, Prince and The Revolution!

 

 

I wondered how clearing history would affect U.S. presidents.

From Lincoln…to JFK…to William Henry Harrison, who had the shortest term as president (one month)…to George W. Bush, who seemingly had the longest tenure in office!

 

 

Eat up, soldier.

Eat up, soldier.

And of course, wars throughout mankind’s long history…

 

…The Civil Wars…

…World Wars…

…Cold Wars…

…And Cupcake Wars.

 

 

 

Most of all, I wondered how clearing history would change my life.

Decisions I’ve made.  People I’ve hurt.  Opportunities I’ve missed.

Guess that’s life though.  You always rethink the “what-ifs.”

And you come to realize, there is no simple way to click away history.

You can only open a new tab to start fresh.

Start fresh everyone.

 

sock

 

 

 

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9. March 2015

1 Comment

MS Awareness Month Greeting Cards

 

March is MS Awareness Month!…I think you’ve gotten the memo on that by now!

So I thought it might be nice to send cards to family & friends, letting them know of this special time of year.

 

So many choices!

So many choices!

 

A trip to the local greeting card store followed—you know the one, when you care to send the very best?–Yeah, that’s the one.

 

Inside, I found cards for every holiday.  Every occasion.  Every religion/ethnic group/pet-loving/occupation related /sexual orientation/ food craving category—but nothing celebrating MS Awareness Month!

 

 

Extra Postage Required.

Extra Postage Required.

 

 

 

Therefore, yours truly took it upon himself to custom-design a heartfelt line of cards sharing our joy of the season.

 

Enjoy My Odd Sock’s MS Awareness Month Greeting Cards…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you crying yet?

Are you crying yet?

 

 

 

 

Perfect for your doctor’s favorite drug company rep!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sleep in a chair myself!

I sleep in a chair myself!

 

 

 

 

Better check his pulse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quite a party.

Quite a party.

 

 

 

 

 

You might need to bake your own cake as well, I’m wiped out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Give it to me straight, Doc.

Give it to me straight, Doc.

 

 

 

 

“We can try a different medication?”….(Refer back to the first greeting card selection)

 

 

 

 

 

What are we talking about?

What are we talking about?

 

 

 

 

 

Eh, you know what I mean…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better late than never.

Better late than never.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A salute to foot-drop in this belated MS Awareness Month greeting card.

We tend to forget—see card above!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smile.

Smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In honor of contrast MRI’s…send two cards!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sick.  That's sick!

Sick. That’s sick!

 

 

 

 

And finally….

 

 

 

 

Hope you have a spectacular MS Awareness Month.

Please share any ideas for additional cards–I’ll be sure to steal them!

 

 

 

 

sockA

 

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3. March 2015

5 Comments

We’re #2!

 

MS is #2.

MS is #2.

 

 

C’mon, all together now…

 

“We’re #2, hey!  

We’re #2, Yeah!”

 

Yes, that’s right.  According to the National MS Society, multiple sclerosis is the second most expensive disease to treat.

Only congestive heart failure ranks higher.

 

 

The average health cost per family living with MS is about $70,000 per year.

Seventy G’s…and we only get 2nd place?  Second place is good, but not good enough!

Everyone wants to be number one.  And we as MSers are no exception.

 

Yeah, we bad, we bad!

Yeah, we bad, we bad!

 

 

Yep, we’re beating cancer.

Aids & Alzheimer’s?–get outta here.  You’re messing with the big dogs now.

And Diabetes?  You can bite it.

 

MS may be number two right now…but we’re coming after you CHF!

 

 

 

 

Good to be a rich MSer!

Good to be a rich MSer!

 

 

 

Our coffers run deep.

So much so, many of us with MS don’t even have to work.

 

Unlimited funds!

 

I light my cigars with $100 bills.

 

 

 

 

Moo-Lah!  I'm rich bee-otch!

Moo-Lah! I’m rich bee-otch!

 

 

 

We are rich with cashish.

 

And willing to spend it on our disease.

 

 

 

 

Go team go!

Go team go!

 

 

But to claim the top spot, MS will need some help.

So I have asked these cheerleaders and Big Pharm to lend a hand.

Let’s see what the young ladies have come up with…

 

 

“Go Big Pharm.  Go all the way!

Go Big Pharm, Let’s make’em pay!”

 

Wow, thanks girls!

 

Together we can do this.

Let’s work to make multiple sclerosis thee NUMBER ONE most expensive disease!

No one remembers number two.

So reach deep to help give MS the ranking it deserves.

Can you do another cheer, ladies?

 

“MS-MS is number two.  MS-MS, how about you?”

 

Well you heard it…MS is number two.

But then, you’ve known that since the day you were diagnosed, right?

 

sock

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