21. October 2014

0 Comments

A Fresh Perspective

 

Everyone needs a attitude adjustment from time to time.  I know I do.

Little did I expect mine to occur during a dinner party with friends.

 

Donna was sitting in the kitchen involved in a lively discussion.  She was bubbly & engaging.  Quick to laugh and smile brightly.

She was a petite, retired school teacher in her mid 60′s with curly brown hair, glasses and wearing lots of bling.

But her jewelry wasn’t what sparkled most—it was her attitude.  

And I was smitten.

 

Oh, did I tell you?  Donna also has ALS.

 

We spoke at length that evening.  First in the kitchen–she, sitting in a wheelchair while I stood, propped up by my canes, leaning against a cabinet like a house plant.

Later at dinner, we were seated together in a “handicap section” of the dining room.

We compared our “sclerosis’” and talked about treatments.  We discussed wall-walking and leg spasms.  

I learned ALS affects more men than women.  And she learned MS affects more females than males.  Weird how that works, we joked.

 

Despite a bleak future, Donna’s outlook was remarkable.

She wasn’t bitter but takes joy in every moment.

She says she does what she can each day.  Doesn’t dwell on the “what was” of the past or thinks about what her future holds.

Donna is occupied in the moment.  (And at that moment, she had to endure my bad breath & poor table manners.)

 

It is perspective like her’s that you & I can use to make it through a difficult day, a rough time or a physical setback.

Even she said “There are people far worse off than me.”

Damn straight, Donna!

 

Now that’s a fresh perspective I can live with.

 

sock

 

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18. October 2014

1 Comment

My Odd Sock’s Shopping List

 

It's double coupons!

It’s double coupons!

 

 

The pantry is bare so time to go to the store for yours truly.

 

Join me as we shop the day away in search of everything odd on the shelves at your local grocery store.

 

Grab a cart while I park the car and I’ll meet you in the juice aisle….

 

 

 

 

Good to the last drop.

Good to the last drop.

 

 

Nothing like starting the day with a tall glass of juice!

Let’s see, we have orange juice, strawberry-banana, pineapple, tomato….but….Clam juice?

From the makers of Gatorade!

Mmmm, high in vitamin yuk!

Make sure you get the pulp free.

 

 

 

What wine goes with Lumpfish?

What wine goes with Lumpfish?

What goes with Clam juice?

Why Black Lumpfish, of course!

 

Is it just me or is there anything remotely appetizing about the name…Black Lumpfish?

Why not something called Bloated Dead Carp?  Or, Slimy Skank Tuna?

 

I think I just lost my appetite for seafood!

Let’s head on over to the next aisle…

 

 

Baba Ganoush, have you any wool?

Baba Ganoush, have you any wool?

 

…to get some BaBa Ganoush.

 

I have no idea what this is, it’s just fun to say BaBa Ganoush!

BaBa Ganoush!

That man just stole my wallet, come back here you BaBa Ganoush!

 

What else in on the list?….

 

 

 

Cheese for the stupid.

Cheese for the stupid.

 

For those who have difficulty with real cheese, thank goodness for…Easy Cheese!

 

Yes, forget the messy grater.  Put away the sharp knife.

And just squirt your favorite cheese!

 

It’s cheese in a convenient aerosol can!  

The easy way to get heart disease and deplete the Ozone in one simple step!

 

Hungry for a sweet treat?….

 

 

The safari never tasted this good.

The safari never tasted this good.

 

…How about a Zebra Cake?

 

Leave it to Little Debbie to turn one of God’s beautiful creatures into a snack cake.

Wonder how many treats Debbie can make from one zebra?

Zebra Cakes ARE delicious, but I believe I found a bit of hoove in mine.

 

 

 

If you think that’s bad….how about poor Elmo……

 

Good as a side for roast Big Bird.

Good as a side for roast Big Bird.

 

 

His puppeteer was accused of sexual abuse…leaving poor Elmo to be pureed into a soup stock.

 

 

 

 

Finally, last on the shopping list…..

 

 

Doc, I think I need an ointment.

Doc, I think I need an ointment.

 

Yep, this is an actual product for sale on the shelf.

 

I’m not eating ANYTHING that sounds like something you should see a doctor about.

More Dick?

No thanks, I couldn’t swallow another bite.

 

 

 

Well, our shopping is done.  Time to check out.

Luckily with only seven items, we can hit the express lane.

Crap, I forgot the coupons!

Oh well.

 

sock

 

 

 

 

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13. October 2014

2 Comments

My MS Life In A Comic Strip

 

Healthline logo

 

Despite my five-year journey writing deplorable, low-brow web content for My Odd Sock, a very reputable firm asked me to create some fun, MS related stuff for them as well.

Healthline Networks is an online provider of trusted health information, news and doctor-reviewed resources for readers and their families.

At their website, Healthline.com, you can find great information and support for multiple sclerosis and just about every illness known to man.

 

 

Long story short, Healthline.com turned my MS diagnosis story into a comic strip.

So, in my own words and illustrated by Yulia Seliutina, please enjoy “My MS Story Reduced To A Comic.”

 

MS Comic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, be sure to visit facebook.com/livingwithmultiplesclerosishealthline each Sunday to see my MS “Sunday Funny.”

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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30. September 2014

2 Comments

MS Goes To The Movies

film background  

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Hollywood was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis?

My Odd Sock believes our favorite movies would be quite different.

Roll’em and let’s see how…….    

 

 

“Officer And A Gentleman With Leg Spasms”

 

“Memory Is Gone With The Wind”

 

This website is rated for idiots.

This website is rated for idiots.

“Wizard Of Odd Sensations”

   

“Blade Walker”

 

“Band Of Bladders”

 

“A Shot In The Thigh”

 

Financing is available.

Financing is available.

 

“The Blind Side Of Optic Neuropathy”

   

“Absence of Myelin”

   

“Les Miserable”

 

“The Interferon Hangover”

 

“Schindler’s Limp”

Angioplasty extra.
Angioplasty extra.

   

“This Is Spinal Tap”  (No Name Change Needed)

   

“Snow White And The Seven Neurologists”

   

“Full Metal Cooling Jacket”

   

“A Hard Day’s Night Not Sleeping”

   

“A Fistful of Medicare Dollars”

    Movie Ticket

“Singin In The Pain”

   

“Close Encounters Of The MRI Kind”

   

“My Left Foot Drags”

 

“Silence Of The Limbs”

 

“Baclofen To The Future”

 

“The Social Security Network”

 

I can hardly wait.

I can hardly wait.

 

“Poltergait”

 

“When Harry Met Soli (Solumedrol)”

 

“Avonex-Men”

 

and finally

 

“Forrest Gimp”

 

Do you have any MS films to add to the marquee?  

Premiere them to My Odd Sock in a red-carpet comment.

Till then, we’ll see you at the movies! sock                                  

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26. September 2014

1 Comment

Stupid Random Stuff

Stupid Random Stuff

 

 

 

If you have read this web page for any length of time, you are aware of two things.

 

One, you may need professional help.  

And two, My Odd Sock cherishes stupid, random stuff.

 

That being said, let’s see what’s out there…….

 

 

Magazines are known for bold, brash headlines.  Publishers want to catch your eye with titles that entice you to purchase a copy.

But the current issue of “All You” is a little ridiculous….

 

I need cupcakes with ghosts!

I need cupcakes with ghosts!

 

“41 new ways to save on EVERYTHING YOU NEED.”

Really?  Everything?  How do they know what I need?  Maybe you need something different from what I need.  How do they know that?

It’s an odd number too…41 ways.  What they couldn’t give us 45 ways?  They got to 41 and said “That’s it, I’m done-could only think of 41.”

And these are “new” ways to save.  Cripes, what are some of the old ways?  I think I missed that issue.

Stealing & shoplifting.  Wonder if that’s considered a new way?

 

Moving on…..

 

 

Coca-Cola had a summer promotion called “Share a Coke” encouraging fans to share a Coke with someone they cared about.

In place of the soft drink’s name on the can were words like “Dad,” “Mom,” “BFF,” “Pal” ect.

Imagine my surprise when I found this can…..

 

IMG_1471

 

 

(Actually it’s just a playfully, sad attempt at using Microsoft Paint.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly…..

 

 

Runners galore!

Runners galore!

 

 

My son purchased a new pair of Brooks brand running shoes.

 

The shoe box was uniquely designed with illustrations of runners of all ages, types & fitness levels.

 

Pretty cool.

 

 

 

Then I spied this Where’s Waldo fella….

 

I'd shake your hand but I got a nipple full of goo.

I’d shake your hand but I got a nipple full of goo.

 

 

How weird is it to have the image of this guy right smack dab on top of the box!

 

He is apparently applying some goo to his nipple to ease chafing.

 

I am well aware this can be a common problem of long distance runners, but geez dude, do you have to put it on right there during the race?

 

 

See I told you this was “Stupid Random Stuff!”

Thanks for visiting.  You’re welcome to hang around but I gotta go—think I’m in need of an ointment to ease a chafing problem

 

sock

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23. September 2014

5 Comments

Happy MS Anniversary To Me

 

 

Feeling rather lazy today, I decided to post an article I wrote for the Ohio Buckeye Chapter Fall 2014 MS Connection newsletter.  (Yes, it is amazing someone else would let my work ruin their fine reputation!)

But they did.  And here it is….

 

 

Fall holds a special place in my heart.

It’s my anniversary—-my MS anniversary.

 

That hand has never seen a day of hard labor.

That hand has never seen a day of hard labor.

 

 

 

 

Yep, multiple sclerosis and I have been together 18 years now.

 

We began with a short courtship.

A few twinges of weakness here and there.

Some numbness.

 

But just enough signs to raise suspicions by my family doctor.

 

An MRI later confirmed a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.

 

 

 

 

It was September of 1996 when we finally exchanged our vows.

 

I, Odd Sock, take you MS, to be my chronic disease.

To have…and to hold.  (Probably referring to the MS hug)

From this day forward.

For better or for worse.  (I’m hoping for the better)

For richer or for poorer.  (Cripes I’m on disability–I’ll never be richer!)

In sickness and in health.  (Look as though I got the sickness part down!)

Until death do us part.

IMG_1479

We didn’t have much of a honeymoon as soon after our ceremony, I was hooked to a steroid IV.  (Remember the “in sickness & in health part?)

Like most relationships, through the years we had our share of ups and downs, highs and lows, stumbles and falls (mostly by me).

Since separation or divorce wasn’t an option, we did the counseling & support group thing only to realize we really didn’t like each other.

I wasn’t fond of MS and likewise, MS didn’t think much of me.

It took several years before we came to a mutual compromise.  MS would do its thing and I would do mine.

When MS would zig, I would zag.

When MS threatened my ability to drive, I got hand controls for the car.  When it challenges my balance I use grab bars, canes and a rollator.  And when MS swipes my energy to walk I use a wheelchair.

IMG_0616My point being, whatever your MS throws your way, you can return the favor with something bigger & better.  You can exercise to improve your tolerance to fatigue.  Stretch to lessen spasms of spasticity.  And you can take part in activities you enjoy to combat the negative doldrums of MS.

Personally, I enjoy writing about MS.  Poking fun of it.

Writing about MS (and slaying the English language) helps me cope with the everyday challenges & frustrations that people with MS face. 

I hope you feel the same way.

As an MSer way wiser than myself once commented, “It is better to live & laugh than cry & die.”

Well stated.

Living by that standard could be the reason why MS and I have been able to put up with one another for 18 years.

By the way, that reminds me, what exactly is the traditional gift for an 18th MS anniversary?  An A.F.O.?  New cane tips?  Bottle of Baclofen?

As I “celebrate” my illness with much sarcasm, my true feelings are filled with hope and positive energy for a long future with MS.

May you live with MS much the same.

sock

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