24. November 2015


My Odd Sock’s Thanksgiving Turkeys


I call the turkey neck!

I call the turkey neck!




Before you are off to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday, I thought I would share some items found in recent ads that are REAL Thanksgiving turkeys…..





The lovely holiday table...

The lovely holiday table…



Retailers are busy pushing everything you need to set an elegant dining room.


Tablecloths, seat covers, flatware, linen napkins, candles…blah, blah, blah.

Lucky for you if you are seated at the “elders” table!


Yeah, here we go.

Yeah, here we go.





…But NOTHING for the rest of us forced to sit at the kiddie card-table with a paper plate, sippy cup & a spork!







Cover your mouth, dude.

Cover your mouth, dude.


Here’s a nice ad showing what you’ll cough up unless you get a no-cost flu shot from Kmart Pharmacy.



More gravy anyone?





Poor poor vagrant.

Poor poor vagrant.




Ah, it’s good knowing Kohl’s is keeping the hobos in shape with 20% off all yoga accesories.






Raising the roof!

Raising the roof!




Bed, Bath & Beyond checks in with this awesome wireless speaker tower to pump up the jams at your holiday party.


This baby comes complete….”with FM Radio!”


That’s a great way to kill the party mood….force your guests to listen to Delilah!




Finally, Gander Mountain joins the festivities with this holiday must-have…..

Matches my shoes.

Matches my shoes.


…..It’s a Raspberry colored 9mm from Ruger!


Yes, be the laughing-stock of the street gang when you cap someone with this berry-colored pistol.

Keep it in your waistband…or in your man-purse.

Your street-cred may take a hit, but your fashion sense will be admired!



That’s it for my Thanksgiving Turkeys.

If you weren’t getting drowsy enough reading this dribble, the turkey’s triptophan should kick in anytime now.

Have a safe & happy Thanksgiving, ya’ll.sock











Continue reading...

19. November 2015


Grab Bar



The following is a paid-commercial announcement.



Hey MSers, tired of the same-ol night on the town?

Fed up with crowded bars?  Restaurants that aren’t accessible?  With blaring music?  And too few restrooms?

Then, My Odd Sock has the place for you.


Welcome to…..


The place for us!

The place for us!



Grab Bar!

The exclusive MSer’s nightspot.


Designed by MSers—for MSers!





Thee place for MS fun!

Thee place for MS fun!


You’re gonna love Grab Bar’s easy convenience!


Grab Bar is completely accessible.  

All on one level.

So no tricky steps to climb!





Places to park your stuff!

Places to park your stuff!



At Grab Bar, every space is disabled parking only, so you’ll always find a spot right up front!


And there’s plenty of room for your mobility aids as well!




Inside, Grab Bar serves ALL your liquid refreshments!


Walk on!

Walk on!



Johnnie Walker is a club fav!

MSers relate well to JW’s logo for some reason.

(Must be the hat)



Makes your cheeks warm!

Makes your cheeks warm!



Grab Bar’s mixed drinks are popular too.


Like our fruity, Tecfidera Flush…



Leave your finngerprints behind!

Leave your finngerprints behind!




And don’t forget, Grab Bar puts an MS-spin on popular nightcaps…including our famous Harvey WallWalker.




All drinks come in your choice of three sizes…Small, Medium and I.V. Drip.


Come to Grab Bar any night to enjoy a “Shot Night Combo Special.”

Every day get “Copaxone & Captain Morgan.”

Three days/Wk get “Rebif & Royal Canadian.”

Once/Wk get “Avonex & Absolut.”



Need some physical therapy?  Grab Bar’s got you covered!


No more boo-boos!

No more boo-boos!





Shake your bootie and boogie the night away on Grab Bar’s padded (for falls) dance floor!





Get down!

Get down!


DJ “Gimp Gary” spins the tunes & rocks the house playing the hits of your favorite MS artists like…

Elton’s John

Classic rock’s “The Handicap Doors”

and pop sensation “Myelin Cyrus”



Built for two!

Built for two!




Of course, if you are in the mood for some quiet conversation, then step into Grab Bar’s “MRI Privacy Lounge.”





Wall to wall, Grab Bar is the newest MS nightspot!


Join us tonight for fun & spirits!


And join in on the chorus of Grab Bar’s theme song…

(Sung to the tune of “Cheers”)

“You wanna go where people know…people are all the same.

You wanna go where everybody knows you’re lame.”












Continue reading...

9. November 2015


On The Scale


Several years ago while waiting in the neurologist’s office, I began to look around.  (I’m nosy that way)

Amidst the books, wall posters & models of the brain, I noticed a chart on the bulletin board.

Curious, I peeked closer.

What I saw disturbed me.  Downright frightened me.

Turns out the “chart” was acutally the “Expanded Disability Status Scale” or EDSS for short.


Freakin me out!

Freakin me out!



The EDSS was developed by Dr. John Kurtzle in the 1950s as a way to measure the disability status of folks with multiple sclerosis.

I scanned the scale to find my place.

I was shocked how far I was to the right.  And saddened by how far I’ve progressed from the left.


I got panicky and had a slight freak-out…..How long?  How fast?  When will?

My mind whirled like the lazy susan in a pantry.

Eventually I collected myself and came back to Earth.

I realized the EDSS is a scale.  A guide.  NOT a given.


Remember, MS is crazy different for each of us.  And wherever you find yourself on this friggin scale doesn’t mean there is more to come.  Progression is not definite.

You can fight it.

You can fight it with a medical treatment program, diet, exercise, movement, stretching & attitude.  

Now THAT’S a given!


Sorry, I’ll settle down now.



I'm the missing link.

I’m the missing link.

Before realizing a EDSS ever existed, I always saw my disability as a kind of reverse evolutionary scale.

Where the human species evolves moving left to right, I’m regressing the opposite way (R to L) as noted in the illustration.

(The hair on my back further proves my regression)



But low & behold, ol’ Doc Kurtzle’s EDSS has been updated, revised & revamped!

Back in the 1990s, a group of international neurologists felt the existed outcome measures were inadequate.  So together they came up with the “Guy’s Neurological Disability Scale.”


When I google imaged it, this is what came up.  Honest!……………………..


Nice to meet you two!

Nice to meet you two!


Hey now!

It’s a Disney character with breast implants!

NOW you know why it’s called the Guy’s NDS.”


No no no, truth is, the scale was developed at Guy’s Hospital in London.  Hence the name.


The GNDS was devised as a simpler, user-friendly scale incoporating a whole slew of disability issues including cognition, vision, fatigue, upper & lower limb function, bowel & bladder and others.

Though I’ve never seen the GNDS scale, it sure seems to capture the full-range of MS more than that scary EDSS ever did!


Whatever scale your doctor consults (if any), don’t be dismayed.

Keep in mind nothing is written in stone.

Keep your wits.  And keep moving.

Till next time.




Continue reading...

4. November 2015


Sock It To Me


Hey now!  Getting Fancy!

Hey now! Getting Fancy!


Tend to think I can handle myself around a gym.  

Heck, I’ve been working out since I was 16.

And although MS has slowed me down a bit, I still manage to exercise five or six times a week in the privacy of my basement.


So when I’m out of town visiting my mom, who lives in a nursing home, I miss my basement gym and the joy it provides.

But low & behold, mom’s facility hosts an exercise class each morning called “Sit and Be Fit.”



“Sit and Be Fit” allows participants to sit in a straight-back chair, or their wheelchair, and be led through a complete, full-body, range-of-motion, 30-minute exercise session!


“We’re there, Ma.  Let’s go feel the burn!”


In the activity room, I sized up the gathering of all-lady gym rats.

There was enough support hose in that room to hold up a skyscraper.

“Softies” I said to myself.


Clad in my bandana, sleeve-less T and parachute pants, the women knew I was hardcore—-or an asshole, I couldn’t quite tell.

I was easily the youngest in the room by a quarter-century.  Yep, this was gonna be a butt-whooping!


But then I felt an icy stare.  Looking up, I locked eyes with the matriarch of the nursing home.

Ida was NOT happy.

Ida was NOT happy.


It was Ida.

One hundred and one years old, Ida had a scowl that made Teddy Roosevelt retreat.


Fearless, I met her glare eye-to-eye.

“You ready to get pumped, blue-hair?” I said in my mind.

Here face said it all…“Bring it, punk.”



And with that class began.

We started with neck, arms and chest.

Each movement, 15 reps.  Challenging, but not depleting.

Who would be the first to falter?


A re-creation of "Sit and Be Fit."

A re-creation of “Sit and Be Fit.”


We did shoulders.

And then waist.

I glanced at Ida.  She wasn’t moving.  Eyes closed.

Was she asleep?

Quick, someone put a mirror under her nose!

But then she stirred and continued on…11-12-13-14 and 15.



We moved to legs.

I knew I was toast as my legs move less than a mannequin

While the other ladies were kicking and stepping, I tried my best with two dead legs but looked more like I was figeting in the chair like I had to poop!

It was embarrasing.


Any takers?

Any takers?



Defending my reputation and male ego, I pulled on my shirt to unleash my bicep.

I challenged anyone to arm wrestle.

But there were no takers.




We took three deep, relaxing breaths and class was dismissed.


Ida gave me one last glance & a simple nod before pushing her rollator through the doorway.  I responded with a nod of respect for a well-fought battle.


I made it through “Sit and Be Fit.”  We all did.

And it was good knowing how well one can feel through movement.  Even seated as we were.

You can feel it too.

C’mon, give your body what it craves.  Move!

You’ll feel better.  You’re attitude will brighten.  Spasticity will lessen.  As will fatigue.  And sleep will be deeper.

I promise.

MS wants you to be still.  But don’t listen to it.

Get moving.


Continue reading...

31. October 2015

1 Comment

My Odd Sock Quick Hits



Let's go!

Let’s go!



You’re busy, so I’ll give you three quick odd bits found around the My Odd Sock corporate headquarters…..




Star Wars pj's

Star Wars pj’s


Leave it to Disney (and Target) to hawk EVERYTHING related to Star Wars in anticipation of next month’s movie release.

That includes these Darth Vader adult pajamas.



(Darth Voice)…Darth, (inhale-exhale) is that your light saber, (inhale-exhale) or are you happy to see me?





We need some clothespins to close this bag of clothespins.

We need some clothespins to close this bag of clothespins.



We had to buy clothespins in order to close the clothespin bag WITH A CLOTHESPIN!


Go figure.








Nice sweater buddy.

Nice sweater buddy.



You can buy this ugly sweater during JCPenney’s Super Saturday Sale.


Then, get your ass-kicked wearing it later Saturday night!






As promised, three quick hits and we are outta here.

Have a tremendous weekend!




Continue reading...

27. October 2015


MS Know-It-All



Are you ready?

Are you ready?


Think you’re an MS Know-It-All?


Do you yawn your way through routine visits with your neurologist?


Are you up-to-snuff with all the new fangled treatment options for the ick we call multiple sclerosis?




If so, you are WAY too intelligent for any challenge offered by this website.  But for the rest of you (myself included), here are some MS-related questions to stretch your noggin.

You may begin…


Question #1  Presidential candidate or MS medication?  Below are three choices.  Two of which are names of current MS medications, the other, includes names of presidential wannabe’s.  Select the list of candidates.

A)-   Plegridy, Lemtrada, Extavia

B)-   Glatopa, Acthar, Orapred

C)-   Jindal, Pataki, Chafee



Question #2  Listed below are three foot-related therapy products.  Which item is most preferred by an associate of Walmart?

A)-   Dynasplint range of motion equipment

B)-   Ossur AFO (Ankle-foot orthosis)

C)-   Dr. Scholl’s Massaging Gel insoles


Hmm, tough one.

Hmm, tough one.


Question #3  Here are three names.  Two are Greek goddesses & one is known as the “MS walking pill.”  Find the medication.

A)-   Hestia

B)-   Athena

C)-   Ampyra




Question #4  A shower chain is a handy addition to an MSer’s bathroom.  Here are two good reasons and one really stupid reason to own a shower chair.  Choose the stupid reason.

A)-   A shower chair increases your safety.

B)-   A shower chair reduces your fatigue.

C)-   A shower chair allows you to sit while hiding froma knife-weilding intruder (as in every scary movie).


Question #5  Here are three statements defining Gadolinium.  Choose the incorrect response.

A)-   Gadolinium is a type of dye used during a contrast MRI.

B)-   Gadolinium enhances areas of active inflammation.

C)-  What I scream when surprise-stuck with a needle….”GAD-o-linium!!!”


So he thinks.

So he thinks.




Question #6-   Find the most inappropriate cause of skin flushing.

A)-   Tecfidera

B)-   Gilenya

C)-   Accidently farting in an elevator



There you have it.  That wasn’t bad, was it?

See, you know more about multiple sclerosis than you give yourself credit for!

Wait, you want the answers?  Really?  It is pretty obvious the correct choice to each question is “C”.  (That’s also my high school GPA.)

On that note, keep learning about your MS.  Keep living life & keep moving.


Continue reading...
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