9. February 2016

0 Comments

Hope For Humanity

 

 

Do you have it?

Do you have it?

 

As a kid growing up, I often heard the older folks complaining about the world “goin to hell.”  “The future being doomed” and “Kid’s today don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground.”

(Their words not mine.)

 

I suppose they thought that way because elders said the same about them when they were young.

And so on.  And so on.

 

In essence, negativity breeding negativity.

And I’ll admit, I too spewed my share of such verbal vomit……till multiple sclerosis interrupted my life.  And changed my mindset.

 

As the years progressed (and my MS did as well), I have come to depend more & more on canes, a rollator and a wheelchair.

What did NOT progress though was negativity to others.  In fact just the opposite occured.

I began to find people…complete strangers…of all ages, who were more than willing to help a gimpy guy.

 

Bumping up a curb.

Bumping up a curb.

 

 

Opening doors.  Holding doors.

Bumping my wheelchair over high treshholds.

Deep potholes.

And curbs.

 

 

I can’t tell you how many people have asked if I needed help lifting my wheelchair from or into the back of my car.

I always decline their invitation because I am too damn stubborn.  But I graciously thank them for asking.  (Maybe the next person WILL need their help!)

Just last week as I was about to hoist my chair, I heard a voice…

“Need some help?”

I turned to see a man about about 90 years old.  His face had more wrinkles than the faces on paper money in my wallet.

“That’s OK, I got it.”  “Thank you for asking though” I replied.

The old boy walked slower than I do.  I wanted to offer him the use of my wheelchair–he needed it worse than I.

 

Ain't fit for man or beast!

Ain’t fit for man or beast!

 

There was the person who unselfishly pushed me across the Cleveland Clinic through seven inches of snow.

 

I held his briefcase in my lap as he huffed & puffed, sled-dogging me to my appointment.

 

 

 

Eyewitness account.  Artist's rendering.

Eyewitness account. Artist’s rendering.

 

 

Best was the time I stood up to get my chair over an accessible curb that was none-too accessible.

 

The wheelchair got away from me and began rolling down the street, gaining speed as the Invacare Express!

 

 

 

Drawn by an out-of-work police sketch artist.

Drawn by an out-of-work police sketch artist.

 

A woman at a stoplight, reacting with cat-like reflexes, jumped out of her car and sprinted in pursuit of the wheelchair like FloJo in the 100m Final.

 

She returned my runaway chair and drove off, forever being remembered as my superhero in heels!

 

 

Time & time again, countless folks have stepped up to help in my struggles.

Nameless faces willing to lend a hand—or in some cases, legs.

Hmm, maybe there IS  hope for humanity after all.

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5. February 2016

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A Super Dis

 

It’s the one time each year when it captures the spotlight.

It get our attention.

And leaves us scratching our collective heads.

 

It is the use of Roman numerals.  And this year the National Football League will forgo its use of the ancient numerical system in favor of a simple, easy-to-understand figure.

 

The Big One.

The Big One.

 

 

Yes, instead of Super Bowl L, this year we will watch…..

 

Super Bowl 50.

 

Oh don”t worry.  Next year’s big game (#51) will be back to being known as Super Bowl LI.

 

 

But how bad must “L” feel for being passed over like a stale bun at the tailgate?

“L” has patiently waited all these years for its time to be recognized.

All hopes now…completely shattered.  A truly super dis.

 

I am not the only one who notices the dissing of “L.”  The Romans are also disgraced.

 

Ee gad dude!

Ee gad dude!

 

 

This Roman is so distraught, he couldn’t even bother to cloak his junk for the photo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not friendly enough to be a WalMart greeter.

Not friendly enough to be a WalMart greeter.

 

 

This guy is just downright pissed…..

 

 

 

 

 

Football, fun & frolic.

Football, fun & frolic.

 

 

 

And who knows what the heck these Romans are doing!

 

 

 

 

 

My point is, as you watch Super Bowl 50 this Sunday, please remember the Roman numeral “L.”

Reflect on the number 50 it represents.

Pay homage to L’s legacy by dipping a chip in its honor.

 

You would have served us well L.  And no that wasn’t a stutter…but a bold affirmation to your importance to this great game.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1. February 2016

1 Comment

MS-A-Day Calendar

 

Dogs.  Cats.  Jokes.  Trivia.  Recipes.  Sports.

They make those page-a-day calendars for almost everything.

Almost.

They forgot chronic disease.

 

A product you don't need.

A product you don’t need.

 

 

 

That’s why we at My Odd Sock have jumped (not very high, mind you) to corner the market and create the first page-a-day calendar devoted entirely to multiple sclerosis!

 

(Like you need a daily reminder you have MS.)

 

 

Here is just a sampling of what you will enjoy with your “2016 MS-A-Day Calendar”…..

 

 

Remember what?

Remember what?

 

 

 

 

 

A special day indeed.

Bigger than tax day!

Bigger than tax day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make it a contrast!

Make it a contrast!

 

 

 

Watch your step, Gimpy!

Watch your step, Gimpy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whaddya know, I learned something from reading this rag!

Whaddya know, I learned something from reading this rag!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be a sport.

Be a sport.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop bitching.

Stop bitching.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, My Odd Sock’s “2016 MS-A-Day Calendar” isn’t worth the paper it is printed on!

 

But this calendar is 100% recyclable.  And at just $29.99 each, proceeds benefit a worthy cause—my wallet!

 

Order now and I’ll send you a second MS calendar absolutely free.  (I’ll also call the police because who the heck needs two of these?)

 

The “2016 MS-A-Day Calendar”—a unique way to celebrate being one with MS.

Get yours today!

 

sock

P.S.-  This is not an actual product, but a complete waste of your time & my creative energy.

Keep moving & make it a great day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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22. January 2016

2 Comments

My Odd Sock Salutes Iowa

 

A great land.

A great land.

 

Iowa.

All eyes have turned to this squarish-shaped territory known for its landscape of rolling hills & cornfields.

Though it’s not the terrain that has our attention these days—but Iowa’s important role in this year’s presidential election!

 

Being the first presidential caucus in the country, candidates hope to win votes in Iowa and ride a wave of popularity all the way thru the November general election and onward to Pennsylvania Avenue.

 

Seemingly, outside of the states’ role in the whole political process, most of us know little of our nation’s 29th state.

This is the reason for…..My Odd Sock’s salute to Iowa!

 

 

Did You Know…

 

Not even deep enough to pee.

Not even deep enough to pee.

 

Iowa is the only state whose eastern & western borders are formed by rivers…the Mississippi River to the east, while the Missouri River holds the west.

 

Pictured here are Iowans escaping to the free world by crossing the mighty Missou.

 

                                                                        *     *     *

 

The land recognized as Iowa was included as part of the Louisiana Purchase back in 1803.

Unfortunately, a young, naive U.S. didn’t keep the receipt, and thus was unable to return the area back to France.

 

                                 *     *     *

 

Not Iowa.  Please!

Not Iowa. Please!

 

 

Over 3.1 million people call Iowa home.

 

Of that figure, only 2.9% are African-American.

 

 

             

                                     *     *     *

 

Dyersville, Iowa is home to the baseball diamond made famous in the movie “Field of Dreams.”

 

                                     *     *     *

 

Notable Iowans include…..

Former President Herbert Hoover

Scientist George Washington Carver

MS Activist Dan Digmann

Wild west's most famous character.

Wild west’s most famous character.

 

 

Frontiersman Buffalo Bill Cody

TV host Johnny Carson

Actor John Wayne

 

                           

                                                            *     *     *

 

Iowa students’ ACT & SAT scores rank among the top five in the nation.

While Iowa has the highest literacy rate (99%) among all states in the U.S.

 

                                *     *     *

 

Iowa is the only state name that begins with two vowels.

 

                               *     *     *

 

Although known for agriculture, the largest sector of Iowa’s economy is manufacturing.  In fact, Iowa was recognized as the 6th best state in the nation for business in a CNBC survey.  Iowa was 1st when it came to the “cost of doing business.”

 

                              *     *     *

 

Des Moines, Iowa’s capital, is the states’ largest city with a population of 203,000.

 

Small town, USA

Small town, USA

 

 

Meanwhile, the towns of Beaconsfield & LeRoy are the smallest with just 15 residents each.

 

At the left is a picture of a quiet, downtown Beaconsfield.

 

 

                       *     *     *

 

The National Balloon Museum in Indianola, Iowa, chronicles more than 200 years of ballooning history.

 

                         *     *     *

 

Return tray tables to there upright position.

Return tray tables to there upright position.

 

 

Speaking of aviation, the Des Moines International Airport is the busiest airport in Iowa.

 

Here we see an incoming flight…

 

 

                     *     *     *

 

After the celebrated presidential brewhaha on February 1st is complete, Iowa will once again fade away to obscurity for another four-year hybernation.

But thanks to My Odd Sock & this useful information, may you always affectionately remember Iowa, the Hawkeye state.

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

                                                

 

 

 

 

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15. January 2016

2 Comments

Stick It To Me

 

Around the holidays money can run a little thin.  Everything adds up prompting me to wonder what I (with MS and two mostly dead legs) could do to earn a few extra bucks.

Since being a male escort was off the table, I decided to answer my calling…actually a newspaper ad…and donate my plasma!

 

Fifty bucks the ad promised with my 1st donation.

“Not too shabby” I thought to myself.

Though not proud, I scheduled a 9:30am appointment.

 

Nice guy pictured there.

Nice guy pictured there.

 

 

I had no idea what was involved with plasma donation.

I only remember my college roommate doing it once so he had money to drink at the bars later that night.

 

And so my head filled with images of seedy characters needing to score some cash—for their next score.  Dishoveled hair.  Dirty clothes.  And enough bad tattoos to choke a biker bar.

 

 

I arrived 15 minutes early for my appointment (like the ad said).

First thing I noticed were how many disabled parking spots were in the lot.  Tons…and each one was filled.

“That’s a good sign” I thought.  People like me…needing some extra dough.

 

Using my two canes, I shuffled inside.

There before my eyes was a lobby FULL of…..seedy characters with dishoveled hair, dirty clothes & enough bad tattoos, well, you get the idea.

I signed in and filled out the required paperwork all while trying not to touch the arms of the chair.  (I’m a germophobe-kinda)

“What the hell was I doing?” I thought.  I was definitely out of my element.  I avoided eye contact out of fear of getting shanked.

Cashma for my plasma!

Cashma for my plasma!

 

Minutes later I was called for my initial screening/interview.

I breathed a sigh of relief for my escape from the lobby.

A nice nurse began asking me a few, simple questions as I noticed a poster on the wall.

It stated you could NOT donate plasma if you had any of the following:

HIV

Ebola

Meningitis.

Black Plague

Small Pox

Malaria

and recently traveled to Nambia, Haiti or Hogworts.

Bad stuff, I figured.  I’m good.

 

“May I ask you why you use your canes?” she asked, diverting my attention from the poster.

“We typically don’t allow people who donate to use mobility aids” she added.

Remembering all those disabled parking spaces–I wondered what was their purpose?

“I have MS.”

She reacted with wide eyes…”Oh honey, I’m sorry but you can’t donate plasma with MS.”

 

He's the man, living large!

He’s the man, living large!

 

 

In a split second, my mind went from the folks in the lobby…to the icky disease chart…to a scene from “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

While in the Land of Misfit Toys, Yukon Cornelius says to Rudolph & Hermie the Elf…..

“Even among misfits, you’re a misfit!”

 

 

 

The nurse lady led me out the back door.

Rejected by a plasma center.  Smh.

Oh well, guess there’s always being a male escort.

Disabled, or course.

sock

 

 

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8. January 2016

1 Comment

Sweeping Stupidity

 

As humans, we are inherently lazy.

We want the simplest way to reach our ulitmate goal.

Now don’t get me wrong, our laziness has led to greatness!  Were it not for laziness, we would have never discovered how to illuminate, to fly or to heal.

Many of today’s modern convienences have been created thanks to our overwhelming human nature to find the easiest way possible.

 

Our innovative downfall.

Our innovative downfall.

 

 

Most, like the washing machine or microwave oven, have been a godsend to our lifestyle.

 

But one in particular…the robotic vacuum, leaves me scratching my head.

 

 

 

Robot vacuums have been around for several years.  But they really seem to get peddled heavy during the holiday season.

The ads were filled with robots that mopped, sweeped & mostly sucked.

 

I figure the target consumer for a robotic vacuum is:

Male.

Married.

And has no friggin idea what to get his spouse.

He believes he is giving a thoughtful gift that will save time.

Meanwhile, the spouse is thinking…”What the hell am I gonna do with this?”

 

 

Robot vacuum about to attack.

Robot vacuum about to attack.

 

As for saving time, a robot vacuum, Roomba or whatever, can sweep an entire room in two to three hours.  Something I can do in 15-20 minutes…and I’m disabled!

Additionally, the price to have a robot scoop up your toaster crumbs is not cheap.  Most are about $250.  While some of the fancier models are upwards of five to six hundred bucks or more!

 

 

Heck, I can save that kind of money picking up the crumbs stuck to my bare feet!

 

I'm not your mother, George!

I’m not your mother, George!

 

 

Keep in mind, a robotic vacuum is not like Rosie from “The Jetson’s.”

It doesn’t talk, think or answer—it simply sucks.

 

And for that I’ll stick with my Hoover.

 

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

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