Sleeping Large

Sleeping Large

Doze your way thru another post!

I’m sleeping large.

No joke.

And odds are, you’re sleeping large too.

I’m talking mattresses.  Thick.  Fat.  Mattresses.

Mattresses that look to be getting thicker.  Thickerer.  THICKEREREST.

 

Now THAT’s thick!

 

Mattress manufacturers seem to think–the bigger, the better.  But I’m not so sure.

Are we sleeping more soundly on a mattress that rivals the depth of Earth’s mantle?  Or are they just messing with us?

 

I measured the mattresses in our home.  Two of them are over 15 inches thick!  Absolute slumber monsters!

The surface tension is incredible.

 

The bed sheets are screaming being stretched taut corner-to-corner.

Busting at the seams like an overloaded tortilla at Chipotle!

 

 

 

Then you add a box spring & bed frame to the sleep system and you find yourself high enough off the ground to get altitude sickness.

You’re yanking on the lamp cord hoping an oxygen mask drops down.

 

I have long legs yet they still dangle over the edge, not touching the floor.  When I go pee at night I strap a parachute on my back as if I’m doing some bedside base-jumping.

I wake my wife constantly as before each leap I shout “GERONIMO!”

Thank God there are no Legos on the floor to break my fall.

 

Where’s the Princess?

 

My point is, these mattresses are thicker than Bay-area fog.  And they appear to keep expanding.

So where does it end?  Have we become characters in the story of “The Princess & the Pea?”  (To be honest I don’t think I would feel a shot put under the ‘slab’ of mattress we have!)  It makes no difference to me–I could sleep on a board and be comfortable.

 

But how about you?  Share your sleep secrets.  Do you have a thick mattress?  Are you sleeping large?  Are you sleeping better?  Let me know in a comment.

Till next time…Zzzzzzz.

 

 

4 Replies to “Sleeping Large”

  1. Mattresses are definitely over rated. I too have a high thick mattress but an uncomfortable no matter what. I have a step stool to get in and out of bed, having the scrapes and cuts to prove it! No good answer. Enjoy as you curse Mattresses and sleep

    1. Joanne,
      YES!..a step-stool! Great idea! Very funny! Though I would worry trying to get out of bed at night for a pee. But it’s better than me trying to climb in or roll off the edge in a suicidal death dive! Thanks for visiting & your comment!

  2. Not that interesting, but I’ll share my sleep story. I have two positions, in my power chair, and in my bed. That being said, one of my assistants has to put me in bed using an electric Hoyer lift. Getting an electric Hoyer lift, which is not covered by insurance, was one of the best purchases I ever made. Even though my doctor wrote a letter trying to justify the benefits, insurance companies consider an “electric” Hoyer lift a “convenience item” and only pay if they are manual. I don’t consider my mattress “large”. My bed is adjustable which raises both the head and the foot. I am thinking that adjustable beds don’t come with a thick mattress because it would probably be difficult for the mattress to bend. The bed also vibrates, but I can’t feel the vibration. I turn on the vibrator and use it as “sleep sounds”. I can’t say for sure, but I like to think the humming sound of the vibrator helps me fall asleep.

    1. Margaret,
      Everyone has their own personal way to slumber. Some run a fan, not for cooling, but for the “white noise” (sleep sound as you call it). I like the sound of traffic so I leave a window open…or sleep on the street. Thanks for sharing!

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