Ode To A Redneck

Ode To A Redneck


Trucker hat not needed.


Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is one of my favorite stand-ups.  Not only is he a nice guy (I got to work with him for a week) but his stand-up slays an audience. 

Absolutely leaves them rolling in the aisles!


Funny guy.


Foxworthy is best known for his bit “You might Be A Redneck If.”

Over the years his clever premise has been reworked a million-times to poke fun at anything from accountants to zookeepers.

In “Ode To A Redneck,” I present the one million & oneth spin of the popular joke to which I’ll call…”You might have MS if.”


If you begin to pee before you get your pants undone—you might have MS.

If you go to those big-pharm sponsored lectures JUST for the food—you might have MS.

If you get your Vitamin D from a pill bottle rather than outside—you might have MS.

After dinner, if your napkin is cleaner than your shirt—you might have MS.

If you wash dishes sitting down—you might have MS.

If your shower has more grab bars than soap rings—you might have MS.

If you’ve ever used a cane to push a button—you might have MS.

If you’ve nick-named the lesions on your brain scan—you might have MS.

If you wake up tired—you might have MS.

If you are as comfortable in a MRI as you are on a couch—you might have MS.

If the medication you take makes you feel worse than what it is for—you might have MS.

If you know the difference between the Swank Diet and the buffet at a strip club—you might have MS.

If something, anything inside your home has wheels—you might have MS.

If your closet has more pullovers than button-downs—you might have MS.

If you use a Sharps container for spare change—you might have MS.

If you must hold on while brushing your teeth—you might have MS.

If you groan while tying a shoe—you might have MS.

If you are more concerned the disabled parking pass is in the car rather than your passenger—you might have MS.

If you spend more time in the bathroom than the family room—you might have MS.

If you lean against something to pull up your pants—you might have MS.

and finally (thankfully),

If your car has more mobility aids than cup holders—you might have MS.


Thank you Jeff!  Such a hacky post.  Maybe next time I’ll glum something from Dangerfield’s famous bit “I get no respect.”

Feel free to share any of your “You might have MS” jokes if you wish.

Till next time…keep cool & keep moving!




4 Replies to “Ode To A Redneck”

  1. Doug, you Crack me up; I know most non MS people don’t get the funny side but we do. Thanks again for the chuckle. Love your blog !!!

    1. Joanne,
      Thanks for your kind words. If we don’t look at the weird side of having MS, we would go crazy, right?

  2. Welcome Back!!!

    If you can straighten a crooked table and chairs and even close the door with the footrests of your wheelchair— you might have MS.

    Back when I was more mobile , I used to attend the monthly meeting of the Comprehensive Multiple Sclerosis Program, founded by my Neurologist, and sponsored by a Drug Company, it was always catered by “Panera Bread”. The other various programs they would have during the year sponsored by the drug companies, were always held at some of the fanciest restaurants in the city. Some of these restaurants I would never have the opportunity to go to if it wasn’t to attend these programs. You would also come home with a bag full of swag.

    1. Margaret,
      That’s a good one! I too have done that!
      Yeah, we don’t even look at the program topic…our 1st interest is, which restaurant is hosting?
      Food drives us!