Crowds, Chaos & Confusion

Crowds, Chaos & Confusion

Let’s revisit this old My Odd Sock.  I am currently “prepping” for my first colonoscopy, so no time to create a new post.

Please enjoy as I gotta go.  Literally, I gotta go…. 




Yep, crowds, chaos & confusion.  Nothing brings this Odd Sock to his knees faster than a situation involving any of these components.  (A kick to the nether-regions does too, but that’s a different story!)


As my MS has progressed, so has my ability to cope with these attention-diverting, energy-zapping triplets of trouble.

I get spooked by hustle & bustle, loud noises and frantic movement.


What gives with that?


Of course I blame it all on multiple sclerosis.  MS seems to be my “catch-all” of finger pointing!  (I outta know, being the youngest in my family, I got blamed for everything–so now I blame MS.)




If I am walking, it’s the fear of falling that fuels my anxiety.  What if someone trips on my cane?  What if my toe catches on something?  What if I get bumped and loose my balance?

I take pratfalls like a silent-movie comedian.  I’ve taken a tumble in a crowd before–and I sure as hell don’t want it to happen again.  So when walking I must concentrate very hard…and any ANY disruption can be a disaster!


Why not use a rollator or a wheelchair I hear you shout.

Well, let me tell you–my anxiety level still rises even with my backside firmly planted in a wheelchair!  People cut in & out in front of you.  I must stare intently at their feet–careful not to clip their heels with my foot rests.

In a crowd, a wheelchair rider sees nothing but asses to the front…and crotches to either side.  “Tramp Stamps” fill your sight lines while the after- effects of someone’s lunch fills your sense of smell.



Crowded roomSeveral years ago, I freaked out during a buffet luncheon on my first day on a cruise ship.  It was all three…crowds…chaos…and confusion.

People swarmed & darted like ravenous jackals.  I couldn’t move anywhere in my wheelchair without stopping, tripping or impeding someone’s feeding frenzy.


Gluttony Gone Wild!


I had lost my family in the rush and couldn’t get near enough to the food to make a selection.  Several staff members asked to help but I was so shocked I couldn’t answer.  Thankfully, my wife found me—realized I was near meltdown–and helped me to a better place.



The Funny Meter


Oh, thanks Funny Meter.

I’m telling the story of when I wanted to shove a butter knife into my thigh–and you want me to be funny?

Real class Funny Meter!



So I ask you…Is it MS?

Is MS the maestro who conducts my orchestra of anxiety?

Am I the only one who fears the triple threat of crowds, chaos & confusion?


I share my thoughts & experiences for your entertainment, surely.  But also to help you realize you are not alone.  As MSers, we face many unique challenges and maybe, just maybe…we can get through them together.  (Geez, that sounds like a movie premise on Lifetime!)

Here are to calmer days ahead.



9 Replies to “Crowds, Chaos & Confusion”

  1. Nope, I can’t handle crowds either, or a lot of noise or activity around me. I go into sensory overload and end up wanting to scream…and sometimes I do.

  2. I too can’t handle the three C’s. I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack when I’m in a room full of people. My mind ruminates with “what if’s”. I mentioned this once to a Nurse Practioner who specializes in MS ans she said it is a MS thing. It was several years back, so if there was an explaination, I forgot what it was. The only thing I remember was being relived to know it wasn’t just me.

  3. I say to people “overload,overload”. Usually they will get the picture. You should check out the brain fog moment on my website. I don’t do well with crowds or a lot of talking either, especially in the car.

  4. Karen, Margaret & Nicole

    Glad to hear I am not alone.

    I thought it was just my own weird world!

  5. NUTS, Here i thought i was a unique MSer but you just shot that all to h-ll. I have memory holes along with the confusion and anxiety at times. My nero says maybe i’m depressed, that’s the root of my problem,-who has ms and is not depressed?
    I’m not a big fan of Richard Pryor, I do agree with his assesment of MS-it stands for :”More Sh-t”.
    Its a day at a time-no matter how good, no matter how bad, its a day at a time.
    God Bless

  6. Cool Mac Cool,

    Depressed? Nah, I say as I pop my Celexa tab.

    You have an open invitation to My Odd Sock! It’s an exclusive coalition…kinda like Sam’s Club—complete with a giant can of salted nuts.

    Thanks for your comments.

    Odd Sock

  7. I spent ALOT of time and money trying to learn to deal with my anxiety. I asked my neuro if the panic attacks could be related to MS and he said that there really isn’t an answer to that so I choose to “point my finger” at MS when I feel a little freaked out. 🙂

  8. “Thankfully, my wife found me—realized I was near meltdown–and helped me to a better place.”

    Thanks for giving your wife credit Sock. I’d be lost most times without my other half. I can relate. 🙂