Man Of Sock

“Man of Steel”, the new Superman movie, opened this past weekend with a $131 million dollar draw at the box office.

I, on the other hand, NOT of supr-hero stature am rendered powerless during the summer months.

He is the “Man of Steel.”  And I am the “Man of Sock.”

As an MSer yourself, you know that humidity is our “Kryptonite.”

It zaps us like a taser.  Sucks our energy like a straw in a milk shake.

And we move slower than species evolve.

Slower than a member of Congress going through their in-box.

This time of year, my “shuffling gait” is reduced to a “shu.”

I am exhausted by simply changing my mind.

I have ANTI-super powers.  Moving with the speed of a glacier.

Barely the ability to leap over an extension cord on the floor.

With the bowel/bladder control of a man twice my age (I’m nearly 50).

Putting on my “SuperSock” costume would be a whole other issue.

First, the phone booth.  Where the hell have you seen a phone booth in the last dozen years?

And if you expect me to change inside there, it better have a place to sit down.  I haven’t had the balance to stand and put on pants since the Bush administration (The first one!)

Second, I’m not wearing anything skin-tight.  Just imagine a big bag of potatoes in spandex (Heck you can see that any day at Walmart).

We can fight the humidity with our air-conditioning.  Battling barometric pressure with BTU’s.

But we must venture out sometime…which is why the back-end of my car is jammed with leg braces, canes, walkers & wheelchairs like a mobile division of Invacare!

Yeah, “Man of Steel” is just a movie.  While “Man of Sock” is the story of anyone living with multiple sclerosis.

His story is over when they roll the credits.  Our story never ends.

Let’s just keep our fingers crossed for a share of the $131 mill.  Now THAT would be super, man!