Na-NaNa-Na-Na

 

 

“Na-NaNa-Na-Na.”

Don’t bother.  That’s just my MS-infested body making fun of me.

Teasing.  Taunting.

Eh, I’m use to it by now.  Similar to living with an older brother, we all get accustomed to the abuse after a while.

That’s why MS moves around your body.  Sometimes…it’s your hands.  Other times, it’s your legs.  Your eyesight.  Or your speech.

 

 

For me lately, the guilty party has been my bowel.

My insides have been playing me like a deck of cards with five aces!

The urge strikes without warning.  A colon Tsunami.

Gotta go.  Gotta go.  Gotta go right now.

I move towards the bathroom with the speed of a glacier.  The faster I try to move, the greater the stress of spasticity tightens my muscles.

 

I’m “prairie-dogging” (look it up) as I fumble into postion to get my pants down.

 

 

Then, as I fall onto the seat……

Nothing.

 

The urge subsides.  So I wait.

Nothing.

Figuring it was a crack of thunder without the subsequent storm, I pull my pants up and begin to exit the bathroom.

BOOM, the urge hits again, as I retrace my steps.

Sit down.

Nothing.

Get up.

 

 

 

 

So begins an up & down struggle.

Teasing.  Taunting.

“Na-NaNa-Na-Na.”

 

 

 

Up and down.

Urge knocks on the door.

Urge goes away.

Up and down I move.

 

 

I have created a full toilet-seat calisthenics program of exercises, stretches & low-back massage to help “move” the process along.  (“Fecal-Fitness” if you jest.)

 

Still, up and down the routine continues.

 

 

Though through it all, one must remain focused on the positive.

And I admit, the many sets of “toilet-squats” have added size & strength to my thighs, depicted here in my likeness.

(Not fond of my smile on this statue.)

 

The teasing continues till my MS becomes bored and finally gives up.

It will rest like MS does and later, rear its ugly head to taunt some other part of my body.

“Na-NaNa-Na-Na.”