Paper Trail

Paper Trail



Are you comfortable admitting defeat?

Do you scratch your enormous, bulbous head and admit you don’t get it like I do?


respect the roll


Isn’t it obvious I’m referring to Cottonelle Toilet Paper’s “Respect The Roll” promotion?


It’s a TV commercial encouraging you to visit the website to order your FREE tacky toilet roll cover!


roll cover


These things are uglier than my fuzzy toilet tank cover!



I’m not saying Cottonelle’s roll covers are gaudy, but they make my needlepoint tissue box cover seem relevant!

Why do I need this?  It’s toilet paper for crying out loud.  I think about TP maybe once a day–IF my diet contains the recommended amount of fiber.

But now there are so many choices when it comes to toilet paper….quilted, extra-thick, extra absorbent, comfort-care, sensitive skin, lotioned, two-ply, three-ply…you need an engineering degree to buy the right paper to wipe your ass!


He's going for my leg!
He's going for my leg!


And what’s with the toilet paper manufacturers using animals to promote their products?  One brand uses cartoon bears— complete with dingle berries!

While Cottonelle uses this cute little pooch on its packages.




I don’t know about you, but the only time I’ve seen a dog wipe its butt…was on my carpet…

dog scooting









OK, I promise to calm down now.

I’ll just reminisce of earlier days when Mr. Whipple told shoppers  “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.”





6 Replies to “Paper Trail”

  1. Thanks for the laughs as usual. It’s obvious they’re marketing to the children…puppies…bears…give me a break. Although the bears did make me think “then does a bear really sh** in the woods?” 😉

  2. I confess……I respect the roll…….and ordered the TP cover. Actually 2 of them. Had one sent to my Dad’s house. (Limit one per household). My Dad got his yesterday. I warned him in advance so when he got the box he did not open it and say “What the hell?” The one to my house has not come yet. Why did I order it? I’m a sucker for free stuff.:)

  3. Bob,

    True story, my Momma Odd Sock grew up very poor–with an outhouse. She said she often used a catalog and added you were lucky if you got to use the “Index” portion of the catalog. Apparently, the index section was a better paper grade—better for the purpose anyway!


    Gotta respect your honesty in fessing up!
    (I’m a sucker for free stuff as well!)

  4. Oh my gosh, your stuff is really hilarious. I can depend on a good laugh out loud when I visit your site. Thanks

  5. Love it! This was definitely a laugh-out-loud. I agree, though – what’s up with using animals to sell toilet paper?!? Somehow I don’t get it.