M-R-I’m Hungry

M-R-I’m Hungry


Enter at your own risk.

It has happened.  Again.

A routine MRI became a freak accident at a medical center in Redwood, California.  A nurse suffered crushing injuries when she was nearly swallowed whole by a MRI machine gone rogue.

But this wasn’t the only occurence.


Just last month an inmate & prison guard become stuck to a MRI in Arizona.

In 2019, a woman in Israel suffered the same tragic episode.

While in 2018, a man died after being sucked into a MRI in India.

These are just four examples I uncovered during my extensive research of page one in a Google search.  I am certain there are more but I am too flippant to look.  That, and “The Price is Right” is on soon.

My point is, the MRI, useful to many, is actually a maniacal machine with a veracious appetite.

Harmless at first sight, the MRI has a mouthful of hidden teeth.  I am sure of it.

Gruesome, to say the least.

Serrated choppers, similar to those of the Great White.  Capable of shredding flesh & bone and anything in its grasp.

I tell this story as a survivor of dozens of MRI encounters over the past quarter century.

Each confrontation is similiar to the last. 

I enter the room weary of the humming creature.  

It, sizing me up just the same.

Goosebumps cover my naked body beneath a paper-thin gown.

The freakish brute begins to stir louder as I lay upon its cold, hard tongue.  The virginal sacrifice that I am.

Suddenly I am pulled deep inside the belly of the great beast.  Its famish hunger explodes in a tidal wave of sound…gurgles, growls & groans.

I look for the exposed teeth certain to slice into my flesh at any moment…but see none.

After what seems like forever, I am spat out of the machine like a piece of rejected gristle.

I draw deep breaths believing it is over when a technician plunges a needle into my arm.  Injecting what I believe must be a flavor enhancer…much like my dear mother high-balling a brothy butter into our Thanksgiving bird.

Good luck to you my dear!

All at once I am sucked back into the beast–maybe this time I would be more savory?

The deafening sounds return as the machine mulls my worthiness.  But soon I am rejected yet again.

I climb off its long tongue and put my feet solidly on the floor.

Glancing back at the machine I anticipate a glimpse of gnarly teeth but see nothing but a smooth surface.

As I return to my car I question & contemplate if this experiece was real or imagined.

Meanwhile, people stop & stare.

Have they never seen a man in a paper-thin gown before?  Geez.



6 Replies to “M-R-I’m Hungry”

  1. Just had mri Sunday. I too was rejected as a meal, thankfully. I survived again. One small success. Happy MRIs to all!

    1. Joanne,
      So glad to hear you made it through. Maybe it was your necklace of garlic cloves–I’ll try that next time as a safe guard. Thank you so much for your (quite funny) tongue-in-cheek response.

  2. Well done and so true!!!

    You didn’t even need to write about how graceful we are getting in and out of the beast.

    1. Julie,
      Exactly! Getting in & out is a whole ‘nuther post!
      Thank you so much for reading & your kind words.

  3. There was this episode on “The Good Doctor”…… how I remember it……A man had some type of confrontation with the medical staff, grabs a scissor and shields himself behind a gurney. While trying to flee he ducks into a MRI room. The magnetic force causes him to be stuck to the MRI machine, the gurney on top of him and the scissor in his neck. So now the doctors have to try to figure out how do you get him out of this predicament, which they eventually did.

    1. Margaret,
      Real life coming to the small screen–I love it! But how did they work in the make-out session? TV docs are always having heated sessions in a supply closet.
      Thanks for the memory…and your comment!