High Performance Guy

High Performance Guy


Defies logic.


I am not high performance, but apparently…I am.

Dri-Fit apparel has been around for years.  If you aren’t familiar with the term, Dri-Fit is a polyester-type material used to make clothing by sports brands for “athletes and active lifestyles”…of which I am neither.


Aha, proof!


Yet digging through my shirt drawer, I happened to find two shirts bearing the Dri-Fit name.

They COULDN’T be mine.


Dri-Fit is supposed to be “high performance.”

No way I’m a high-performance guy.

I’m happy if I can make it to the bathroom without releasing my bladder.

Nothing about high performance.  Just luck!

If I was high-performance, I’d have swagger.  Wear a backwards ball-cap.  Put goop in my hair.

High performance guys wear sunglasses when it’s dark.  And tight pants.  I hate tight pants!

They wear ear pods.  I have ear wax.

Needs a hubcap.


High performance guys drive fancy cars.  I drive a Honda Fit for crying out loud. 

Nothing high performance about the Fit.  It gets stuck going over a speed bump.



High performance guys watch all the cool shows on the popular streaming services.  I watch “Seinfeld” on basic cable.

No, I am not in their clique.


Another big plus of Dri-Fit is that it helps the body cool itself.  They call it “moisture-wicking” because it allows the sweat to move away from your skin to evaporate faster.

Again, not me.

Butter & jam.


I don’t do anything to form moisture.  The most energetic activity I did today was make toast.

I am far from high-performance.


But as the old saying goes “possession is 9/10 of the law” so maybe, just maybe I AM a Dri-Fit high-performance guy.  Now I’ll have to start talking like one…”Sup?


4 Replies to “High Performance Guy”

  1. I only have known about the term “wicking” for about 2 years. Priors to that, I had often wondered, why people, especially children, were wearing long sleeves to the beach and pool.

    I too have been known to wear “wicking” diapers.

    1. Margaret,
      The folks in long sleeves at the pool may be wearing those new-fangled UV shirts that block the sun’s rays. Yep, just another amazing example of fabric technology. (I’ve barely moved past polyester!)