Not Crazy ‘Bout Alexa

Not Crazy ‘Bout Alexa


Took you long enough.


Granted I can’t do much, but I can do what they do.

I’m talking about the flood of “intelligent personal assistants” on the market today.

Amazon’s Echo & Echo Dot…Google’s Home and the Home Mini want to turn on your lights, play music, tell you the news & weather and buy crap.

But are they necessary?



In the time it takes to say “Alexa, turn on the light.”

I can flip a switch.  And I move slower than Congress.

If I want music I’ll turn on the radio.

Weather?  Look out the door.  I don’t need Alexa’s help with that.

A family member said “But watch this…Alexa, add milk to my shopping list.”

Then proudly showed her cell phone with the word “Milk” on the screen.

Ha, beat ya, Alexa!



I gasped, faking amazement as if she were David Blaine.

“This paper does the same thing, look” showing her my equally accurate shopping list.



Okay, now what?

I was given one of these gizmos as a gift last Christmas.

And as you can notice, this Alexa has not seen the light of day.

Still in the box.

Now I’m not the brightest bulb, but I have no need for a “intelligent personal assistant.”

But it got me wondering…What CAN Alexa do for me?




Me:  “Alexa, hold down this stack of mail.”

Alexa:  “OK, I’ll hold down this stack of mail.”




Slim pickings for books.



Me:  “Alexa, be a bookend on the shelf.”

Alexa:  “OK.”



It’s getting hot in here.


Me:  “Alexa, hold the dishwasher open so the steam escapes.”

Alexa:  “OK, but it’s hard to breathe.”

Me:  “You’ll be fine.  Think of it as a beauty treatment.”

Alexa:  “OK.”


Cheaper than a new chair!



Me:  “Alexa, prop up the chair with the broken leg.”

Alexa:  “OK, I’m propping up the chair.”



Technology is great!


And finally…

Me:  “Alexa, hold up the handle so the toilet stops running.”

Alexa:  “OK, holding up the handle, but again, it’s hard to breathe in here.”


You know, I’m beginning to think there ARE some good uses for a “intelligent personal assistant.”

Me:  “Alexa, end this post.”

Alexa:  “OK, ending this post.”







4 Replies to “Not Crazy ‘Bout Alexa”

  1. I received an “echo dot” for my birthday last year. It sat in the box for months until one of my “techie” friends set it up for me in my bedroom. I admit I do ask Alexa things like “the time and forecast” even though I do have a clock in the bedroom. Probably the most useful thing I found out Alexa will do is play my book on tape. I had ordered a book from “Audible” which is an Amazon company, which I usually listen to on my computer. When I found out that Alexa could play “my book”, it was convenient to listen to the book when I could not sleep. Also I like to ask Alexa stupid random questions like “what is her favorite ice cream” it’s “Mint Micro Chip”. Her favorite restaurant is “McDonald’s”, and her favorite toilet paper is “Angel Soft”. You can learn a lot about Alexa, just ask her.

  2. Margaret,
    Funny stuff! Thank you for bringing life to this stale site.
    So glad you found purpose for Alexa…mine is currently a door stop.
    Always appreciate your comments!

  3. How funny! I love my Alexa for music and adding stuff to shopping list as I forget it so fast….but I know the old fashion way worked fine. You sure found creative uses for her, door stob is what we were told to do with our old big computers 😆

  4. Kim,
    You are right. Alexa serves many useful purposes–I’m just too old school. The technology is mind blowing!