MS Commencement Ceremony

MS Commencement Ceremony

It was held-back the last time, so enjoy this graduation post one more time!

grad #4

Tis that time of year when smiling, fresh faces cross the stage to receive their diplomas.

It is a time to celebrate not only, the hard work and commitment of years past, but also the enticement of what lies ahead in the future.

(Kinda sounds like MS, right?)

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Did you know each day, around 200 people are handed their degree (diagnosis) of multiple sclerosis?

(Neurologists & drug companies wring their hands with glee!)

That’s why here at My Odd Sock, we (I) welcome you to the My Odd Sock MS Commencement Ceremony!

(“Pomp & Circumstance” begins playing)…..”Daa–Da Da Da–Daa Daa……Daa–Da Da Da–Daaa….”

(Public Address Announcer)….”And now, your commencement speaker….the noted, honorable…My Odd Sock!”

(Audience gags)

(Uncomfortable lull as it takes Odd Sock several minutes to stand and walk the lousy ten feet to the podium.)

MS Commencement Speaker My Odd Sock
MS Commencement Speaker My Odd Sock

“Good day and welcome everyone!

During this glorious time, we congratulate our guests who are about to receive their MS degree (diagnosis)….as well as those of us who have worked so hard in achieving advanced degrees of MS!

To those newbies, you are about to get the answer to your questions of “Why?”

“Why are my hands numb?”

Why is my eyesight blurry?

Why am I always tired?

The answer will be as clear as the urine that may have dribbled down your thigh (clear…as long as you are properly hydrated).

A ride in an MRI machine may have gotten you here, but now, you join a close-knit group who battle with others to get the last, remaining handicap parking spot at the mall.

Don’t dismay…as doors will open for you—as long as you push the blue, square button!

And your fear of needles will cease as you enter a world of multiple pricks & pokes about your body.  Yes, when I drink too much water, my rear-end sprays like a lawn sprinkler!

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(Audience gags AGAIN)

I unsteadily stand before you… proud of your achievements!

Some of you have earned the honors degree of “Tysabri Cum Laude.”

Others are graduating with the distinction of “Spasticity Cum Later.”

While most of you will be awarded with your four-year “Baclofen-Laureate Degree.”

I congratulate you……And ask the staff to remove the throw rugs from the staging area…As graduates receive their degrees….And we salute today’s 2012 Class of MSers!”

(Thunderous applause) (Grads throw hats into the air)

What a freakin honor!
What a freakin honor!

*Remember, a dianosis of MS isn’t the end.  So hold you head up.  Keep moving.  And use what you have every day to the best of your ability!


8 Replies to “MS Commencement Ceremony”

  1. Never thought of graduation quite this way. Thrilled to not have any graduates in my life this year to save my precious wallet from a donation to their future and low and behold- I am graduating! I majored in Rebif with a minor in the best excuses to come up with in order to get out of doing the shot. Congratulations my fellow MSers and graduates! But now I have pomp and circumstance running through my head- dammit My Odd Sock!

  2. Yvonne,
    Congrats to you! May you put your MS degree to work and not just stumble through life & uneven sidewalks.

  3. How about “to the best of your MOBILITY?” Very funny, as always! You keep me smiling (S’myelin) despite the MS!

  4. Oh, Yvonne, you make me laugh and think. Could be a deadly combination if you know what I mean. You continue to amaze me with your insight into MS. Keep inspiring us with the use of your amazing, God given gift.

  5. Wow! The sock is looking downright dapper in his snazzy outfit. And what a fantabulous speech! Bravo! How well you make us all feel connected in a downright ridiculous way. Peace for where we are. Olivia

  6. Muff,
    “to the best of your MOBILITY.” Now THAT’S funny! Sometimes a joke jumps out at you. What a clever line. Thank you for sharing!

  7. Muff, good one 🙂

    Yvonne, congrats on the Rebif degree. I failed advanced Tysabri and spent a year on no-therapy probation–but will soon register for the new BG-12 major. Hope I qualify for a student loan!

    Odd Sock, another great idea for an MSTV reality show!