I Have Gum Disease.

I Have Gum Disease.

Experts say admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.

“I have gum disease.”

Bull****, I said it.  And it doesn’t feel any better.

First of all, this isn’t about gum disease like Gingivitis or Periodontitis.

Not me.
Not me.

I’m talking gum disease ala Bubble Yum, Hubba Bubba, Bazooka & Juicy Fruit.

You see I LOVE gum…and the act of chewing it.

My problem is I never buy gum.  Haven’t for years.

Rain-Blo bubble Gum

In fact, probably the last gum I ever purchased was as a kid.

My buddies & I would go to the corner market to buy packs of Rain-Blo bubble gum.  We would shove the entire pack in our mouths and then spit to see who could make the most colorful drool.

Is it any wonder I never dated in high school?

Little League baseball fueled my gum fix as my coach always kept us chomping with “gum gold” during each game.

Dubble Bubble Bucket

Even as my boys were playing and I was helping to coach, the team Manager would bring this Dubble Bubble bucket of gum to the games.

Talk about the bubble-gum motherload!

Today, my sons have outgrown their playing days, by my love for gum hasn’t retired.

Eh, just a piece, they won't mind.
Eh, just a piece, they won't mind.

We always have gum in the house.  (My wife buys it–not me)

Usually I’m pretty good, but if an opened pack of gum is laying around, I have been known to partake by pinching a piece.

Another delicious temp to my addiction is the row of gumball machines at the grocery store.’

Man, I love vending machine gumballs!

All those different shapes and bright colors beg me to spare a quarter for a ball of glorious gum.

(Do I sound like a Vicodin addict, or what?)

Yeah I have gum disease.  A mild habit, but a habit nonetheless.

Do you share my fondness for gum?  I ask in case we’re ever together and you pull out a piece for yourself.  I ask you…no, I beg you to offer some to me–your gum junkie.


4 Replies to “I Have Gum Disease.”

  1. At least you admitted your gum addiction….first step :). No I don’t care for gum

  2. I always used to chew gum to keep my breath fresh. When I was teaching, I’d keep it under my tongue so as not to let my students know I was naughty. Then I noticed that chewing actually made my jaws ache. So, I switched to mints. Now, I always have a box of Tic-Tacs in my bag. So, I’m a mint junkie!

  3. Muff,

    I’m the same with mints. Will always say yes if offered, but I have never bought my own.
    It’s terrible!