My Odd Sock’s Wikileaks

 

Throughout the world, diplomatic relations have been strained by the release of highly-sensitive documents by Wikileaks, a whistle blowing website.

More than 250,000 articles containing confidential data, classified & national-security information have been made public, tarnishing foreign diplomacy of the United States and beyond.

 

Not to be excluded from the incriminating leaks, My Odd Sock has learned that its own, detailed information was among the released documents.

 

Wikileaks’ My Odd Sock file contained excerpts on the following subjects…

 

…although Darren #2 was a better match for Elizabeth Montgomery’s stunning beauty on TV’s “Bewitched,” it was Darren #1 who was the better comedic performer…

 

…he who smellt it–dealt it…

 

…almost drown twice.  Once, when as a kid, I fell off a rickety boat dock.  The second time occurred while taking a shower with my mouth open.  Water went down the wrong pipe and I couldn’t catch my breath…

 

…My Odd Sock was a freshman in college when he went on his first date…

 

…haven’t liked wearing my glasses since someone commented “they look just like the glasses worn by Sarah Palin!”…

 

…that dimple-faced dude on the State Farm commercials…why does he act so smug?…

 

 

…Can a librarian get worker’s comp from paper cuts?…

 

…test some of those pro-football refs for steroids.  They’re getting bigger than the players!…

 

…I let my Frosted Flakes get real mushy before I eat’em…

 

…a guy at the gym has armpit hair that must be 4 inches long…looks like a damn dust-mop under each arm…

 

…used dryer sheets fall out of my clothes at the weirdest times…

 

…we’re in the “age of information” yet I only ever hear about someone tweeting this or changing their status to that.  Who gives a crap!…

 

…once on a date, My Odd Sock taught a girl to drive a car with manual transmission.  Call me a real Casanova.  (There was no second date.)…

 

 

…York Peppermint Patties are the greatest candy ever…

 

…does anyone really floss their teeth as often as they say you should?…

 

…hand sanitizers claim they kill 99.9% of germs—unfortunately it’s the germs in the one-tenth of a percent that make you sick…

 

…a friend keeps the key to his safe-deposit box on a ring advertising a state lottery.  I figure, it’s either wishful thinking or he’s hiding something…

 

…nothing says “egotistical” as someone driving a Hummer.  Do you really need that vehicle to get to the grocery store?  Though I did see a Hummer with a license plate that read “I 8 A JEEP.”  Funny!…

 

…taking my seat in a crowded movie theater, I overheard the person in the row behind me say “why is it when I go to the movies, I always end up sitting behind someone with a GREAT-BIG-HEAD!”…

 

 

Thus, curses to you Wikileaks!

We can only hope the release of My Odd Sock’s confidential writings do not disrupt fragile world order.

My Odd Sock condemns the work of Wikileaks and extends an olive branch of peace to leaders of the world and our allies.