Time Warp

Time Warp


Whoa, we just celebrated the New Year but is this really 2024?

Or did we somehow enter a time warp vortex and are back in the 1990’s…when ‘Seinfeld’ was the most watched TV show…the Yugo was the most joked about automobile…and Hooters was a popular, eye-popping restaurant?

Today, ‘Seinfeld’ still hangs around in reruns.  Yugo’s have all but rusted out.  And Hooters shamed itself to obscurity.

We have all moved on, right?

Build it big!


But alas there is an upstart restaurant chain trying to relive the cleavage popularity of days gone by.

It’s called “Twin Peaks” and they are about to open less than a mile from my house.


“Twin Peaks” is a casual dining joint/burger/sports bar set in a rough hewed atmosphere.

Welcome to Twin Peaks!


Complete with grub & brewskis served by “Twin Peaks Girls” clad in rustic uniforms of revealing flannel tops and demin Daisy Duke shorts.

(Watch out for splinters, ladies!)


Corporate America at its finest!


You gotta love its logo too.  Eats.  Drinks.  Scenic views.

Simple.  To the point (two points, really)  You know what’s on top..I mean tap..at Twin Peaks!  


So why do I feel so…Eck.  Swarmy.  Like I need to wash my hands (and dirty mind) thinking about this place?

Look, I’m no prude.  I enjoy the female form.  But haven’t we moved past all this?

Didn’t the Me Too Movement of just a few years ago do anything to end this blatant stuff?

Must they sexualize my experience of eating ribs and/or wings?  (Believe me, there is no greater turn-off than watching me eat either of these!)

“Don’t I know you?”


Oh sure.  I’ll go check out Twin Peaks.  (It’s part of my research)

Reservations under a ficticious name (Derwin Ankertack)

Disguised so I won’t be recognized.

My face buried behind a menu the whole time.


Twin Peaks in 2024 may be the “new” Hooters.  But the sleezy feeling remains from the 1990’s.

Sex sells they say.  Thankfully McDonald’s never put Grimace in a G-string.


Opening soon!


Since Twin Peaks caters to the guys, I thought it might be nice to have a place just for the ladies.

So, introducing…”Buns”, a cozy coffee/dessert bar.  Where they put yeast in those sweet rolls!

Investors welcome.  Franchises available!


4 Replies to “Time Warp”

  1. I have a agree with you. My sisters and I have wondered if we could open a restaurant called “Buns” and only hire men with the ability to wear itty bitty tight shorts.

  2. Useless Trivia, My daughter was a “Hooters Girl” after High School here in Jacksonville and then in Tallahassee when attending FSU. Both locations were corporate and not franchise owned. One big perk was she was on the “franchise opening team”. At the time Hooters was in 79 countries (who knew), so she was able to travel for free to help open locations in Seoul Korea, Prague, Israel twice, and several locations here in the USA. Her Hooters career ended when she and her college roommate moved to NYC and got jobs at a franchise Hooters (there were no corporate), and it was poorly run, so they quit.