Cash Grab

Cash Grab


Palm’s up!


Yes, tis the season!

We are smack dab in the middle of cash grab season.

That time of year when you hear from family & friends you never knew you had.

Graduations.  Weddings.  Showers.

Anywhere cake is being served–you are invited and expected to bring a gift (Cash mostly).


Yeah him.

We get grad announcements from kids I don’t even know.

Her:  “He is Nathan’s step-son’s brother.”

Me:  “But….who’s Nathan?”


We were sent a graduation invite from a girl I haven’t seen since she was five-years-old.

Me:  “So Kayla, are you still into ‘My Little Pony’?”


How special the day!

There seems to be bridal showers galore.  More like bridal downpours!

Me:   “Who is she?”

Her:  “Remember Katherine?  She accidently butt-dialed us during dinner one time?”

Me:   “Oh, that narrows it.”


As Jerry Seinfeld would say…”Who ARE these people?”

They seem to come out of the woodwork this time of year.

I got R.S.V. from all of the R.S.V.P. ing!

Fake invite. But just about right.


It’s nonstop I tell ya!


I’m still covered in glitter from invites we got in 2020.

Another fake…but so true.



Me:  “Seth is graduating?  Who’s he again?”

Her: “He was the kid working at Cosco who helped us get the toilet paper from up high.”

Me:  “Oh.”


The invitations swarm this time of year like flies to potato salad.

Her:  “She is your cousin’s soon-to-be daughter-in-law.”

           “He is my boss’ brother’s exchange student.”

           “She is marrying our neighbor’s parole officer.”

           “Our Uber driver in Cleveland?  He & his wife had a baby.”

Me:  (Head explodes)


When does it end?  My money printing press is running low on ink.

I shake it off by realizing it is better they remember us now-than not at all.  Believing that we made an impression.  We touched their lives.  We helped them become who they are as an individual.

Eh, who am I kidding.  They just want the cash.

4 Replies to “Cash Grab”

  1. What I found interesting is that children of my close friends got married and I was not invited. At first I was disappointed, until I found out that the weddings were out of town. I am thinking I was not invited because my friends knew I couldn’t travel and didn’t want me to feel like I had to buy a present based on the invitation.
    P. S. If I had been invited to these weddings, and could not attend, I would not feel bad about buying the newlyweds a present because of how close I am with the families.
    Luckily I don’t recall ever receiving invitations from my third cousins’ brother-in-laws daughter, etc.

    1. Margaret,
      Glad I’m not the only one! I’ll be sending you an invitation to my birthday party.
      Thanks for checking in!

      1. Doug,
        For your birthday, I’m getting you the same thing I got you last year.