OreOMG

 

Strolling down the cookie aisle they are NOT hard to miss.

Oreos, America’s most-popular sandwich cookie, take up a majority of sacred shelf space.

Its familiar color package casts a glow making everyone look like a member of Blue Man Group.

Who would have guessed Oreos could have so many varieties?

The choices put Baskin-Robbins to shame.

 

 

I was fond of the original Oreo. 

As a dunker I’d let it soak till the cookie part was nearly mush.  Then, using my teeth to skillfully scrape the cookie off leaving just the creme-filling to enjoy last. 

Yes, I worked like a micro-surgeon.  It was precise AND delicious.

 

But later on when fans of Oreo’s creme-filling cried for more, the company responded…

 

They gave us “Double Stuf.”

Doubling the stuf between the same cookie!  How was that even possible?  They don’t even call it creme-filling any more.  Better known by its street name “stuf.”

It was mind blowing…..for the time being.

 

 

 

Because soon after, creme-addicts demanded more.

And dear Lord, in walked Oreo Mega Stuf.

(Mic Drop)

 

 

 

Those watching their weight still wanted to enjoy their favorite treat so the company introduced Oreo Thins.

Same great cookie, only thinner.

(Which justifies eating twice as many!)

 

 

 

Not to be out done, later came Oreo Thins with Extra Stuf.

Now it’s getting ridiculous.

Doesn’t the “extra stuf” negate the “thin?”

 

 

 

But the Oreo choices didn’t end there as the shelf overlfowed with varieties like Caramel Coconut, Birthday Cake and Peanut Butter.

Dark Chocolate, Java Chip and Toffee Crunch.

Plus, Chocolate Hazelnut for hipsters to dunk in their soy milk.

 

 

I found Oreo Carrot Cake for whatever part of the food pyramid that satisfies.

 

 

 

 

And Oreo Mint.  

Giving you the same mucky, blackened Oreo teeth but with minty-fresh breath!

 

 

 

Even lemon-flavored Oreo.  

Geez.

Who craves a lemon-flavored Oreo?

Someone old enough to have voted for FDR, I suppose.

 

 

 

Lastly, I noticed many packages were labeled “Family Size” while others came in a larger “Party Size.”

I’ve never been to a party with Oreos as hors d’oeuvres.

The difference between the two is probably the next largest hole on your belt.  Maybe an extra dose of insulin.

 

Needless to say, my trip down the cookie aisle was overwhelming.  I had no clue as to how large the selection would be.  It was truly a case of OreOMG.