For Sale By Owner

For Sale By Owner


Who needs it?


Ever been given a gift you didn’t want?

A gift you didn’t ask for?

A gift you have never used since?

Of course you have.  We all have.



With most gifts you can return them.  But this particular gift, I would be too embarrassed to take back.

It was a shiny white Squatty Potty,  gifted to me a couple of years ago when I was (clears throat) having trouble in the bathroom.

No wonder he has such a gruff voice–he’s constipated!

I struggled with lots of pushing & grunting.

Yes, it was constipation with a capital “C.”

About that same time I realized I wasn’t drinking enough water.

And by simply adding an extra couple glasses of H2O each day, my problem was virtually eliminated…(Eh sorry, poor word choice).


Now what to do with a brand-new, never-used Squatty Potty?


Well you gonna try it?

For two years now it has been sitting in the bathroom, next to the toilet, waiting for its chance to shine.

Like a relief pitcher eagerly awaiting a call for the dugout to save the game.

To be the hero just once.

It is parked there.  Sooo close. 

My God, even the plunger gets used every once in a while!


So what do I do with my Squatty Potty?


High-tech crap here!


Mind you it’s not just ANY ordinary Squatty Potty.

This is the 2.0 toilet stool!

Imagine the technological advancements made from the earlier 1.0 model.

Somewhere there is a design engineer with that distinction listed on his or her resume!


I can’t sell it.  Who’s gonna buy an unused Squatty Potty?

And for what price would I ask?

How much is this gonna cost me?


How much would you pay?

$30?  $20?  $10?

I can’t even give it away.

Goodwill won’t take it.  Same with a shelter.

They both have standards…and I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want it either.



So there it sits.  Waiting.  In anticipation.

That maybe someday…someone will heft their feet up upon this lofty stool..(Again with the word choice).

Here’s to gifts we don’t need.  And don’t want.  May you have saved the receipt.


7 Replies to “For Sale By Owner”

    1. Tina,
      Entertainment?…You are too generous with your description of this mess!
      Best to you in the new year.

  1. Maybe you can give it to your Doctor’s office, then if maybe someone comes in complaining of constipation, he can gift it to him.

    1. Margaret,
      Could offer I suppose. You are a wealth of information & advice. You class up this pitiful blog!
      Take care of yourself.