A Christmas Quiz

A Christmas Quiz


Test Your Knowledge.


We are in the smack-dab middle of the holiday season.

The perfect time to test your knowledge of all things Christmas.

During this festive quiz, you will need to select the answer which best completes the following statements.

Let’s begin…..


1.  On Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney:

A)  so he can leave presents for those who have been good.

B)  because he hopes to fulfill the wishes of children around the world.

C)  because frankly who would let someone dressed like that through their front door.


2.  Many companies give Christmas bonuses to their employees because:

A)  they want to thank those for working hard throughout the year.

B)  it spreads happiness to all during the holiday season.

C)  it can be deducted from the company’s income taxes.


That’s a long time ago!


This ‘quiz’ proves I have been writing dumb stuff like this for a long, long time.

Here is my original typed bit from 1986.  1986…I was probably wearing a Members Only jacket while typing this!

I should have been hitting the books instead!

On with the Christmas quiz…


3.  Santa uses reindeer to pull his sleigh:

A)  because reindeer are swift and agile.

B)  because they are strong and can leap from rooftop to rooftop

C)  because penguins are too short & squatty to haul his big ass.


4.  Crowded shopping malls during the Christmas shopping season symbolizes:

A)  people purchasing gifts for loved ones.

B)  people enjoying the festive holiday atmosphere.

C)  open season for shoplifters & pickpockets.


5.  Santa uses elves to build Christmas toys because:

A)  they are skilled craftsman.

B)  they are diligent workers.

C)  they work even cheaper than illegals.


6.  During the holiday season, the most widely spoken phrase is:

A)  “Merry Christmas”

B)  “Happy Holidays”

C)  “Charge it”




Even older crap!

Because I’m feeling generous, here is another short story to turn your stomach this holiday season.



“A Merry Christmas Story”

It was Christmas Eve. 

A time for sharing and love.

Tommy shared his cheesecake with Sue.  But Sue didn’t love cherries on the cheesecake so she shared them with brother Billy.

Billy loved the cherries but he wished Sue would share some cheesecake.

They all shared the same toothbrush, but they loved to watch mother make garlic bread.

It was Christmas Eve.