Brain Drain #17

Brain Drain #17

Hey, why not enjoy this Best Of Brain Drain.  Number 17 if you are scoring at home.


Maybe I am as flat as an open can of PBR left in the afternoon sun.

But nothing has really gotten my knickers in a twist lately.  That is…till this week when I found some oddities to share with you.

Let’s “Brain Drain” together and see if we can make any sense of the world we live in.

Let’s begin…

Rock of Ages


I found this ad for the “Solar Rock” in a flyer from “Bed, Bath & Beyond.”

(This is obviously from the “Beyond” department!)

Although how cool is this thing!  A rock that lights up!

Isn’t that better known as “plutonium?”

The “Solar Rock” is endorsed by Fred Flintstone!  (Not really)

All this technology…for only $9.99.  Do you think this is “made in China?”

I gotta believe the Chinese scratch their heads and say….”A Solar Rock?…Those Americans will buy ANYTHING!”

What’s next….

Call To Action

The postman delivered a postcard from a local funeral home with this headline….


Pre-planning a funeral makes sense, unfortunately, this headline doesn’t!

“Honey, let’s enjoy our 25th anniversary by pre-planning our funeral!”

“I won a blue ribbon at the county fair…AND I pre-planned my funeral!”

“Phew, what a great day!  Saved 30% at Kohl’s.  Had a skin tag removed.  And I pre-planned my funeral!”

I’ve written more than my share of commercials for funeral homes, and people just don’t think the subject matter in that way.

Sorry to break it to you, local funeral home.  Better luck next time.

Moving along….

Bridge To Nowhere


This “Bridge” newspaper column can be routinely found in papers throughout the land.  And it has been printed for as long as I can remember.

Have you ever looked at it?  Read it?  And tried to make sense of it?

I guess knowing how to play Bridge would help one understand.  But for those of us who don’t, trying to follow it makes me want to throw myself from the top of a tall one!  (A bridge that is.)

Cracking the Nazi secret code in WWII was easier than deciphering the bold-face examples shown here.

The four “players”…North, South, East and West have been involved in this game for so long, the last time they took a break, the South had legalized slavery!

And how about the accompanying commentary.  I don’t understand a word of it—kinda like something written by George Will!

I find myself trying to “paper-cut” my throat with hopes of “bleeding-out” before I have to finish!

Enough already, I’ve played quicker games of “War.”

That’s plenty of draining the brain.  If I let any more escape, my forehead will collapse.

Ta ta for now.


3 Replies to “Brain Drain #17”

  1. well, I for one, really would like to have a garden path lined with those solar rocks. Think of the night time with all those twinkling little lights. We bought very cheap little solar sticks, but they look nice at night, too.
    Funeral homes are becoming more inventive with their ads. One of our local ones shows a TV ad with his family (whom everyone knows) as the clients!
    I haven’t played bridge since I was an undergrad, but I remember how seriously my classmates took the game. I never really “got it.”

  2. LOL on the celebration of life including making funeral arrangements, surrealism at its finest.

    “Pre-planning” funerals, that lingo has always pushed me into an existential/grammatical vortex of confusion. How is “pre-planning” different from “planning?” Is it the plan before the plan? My plan is to croak, eventually, and as a pre-corpse, my only “pre-plan” is to live until I croak. I’ll need to finance that pre-plan with money the funeral home has its eye on. Celebrating life can be darned expensive!

  3. I have not had good luck with anything solar, so I’ll skip the rock. Preplanning a funeral has landmines, like what if you move? The newspapers bridge appears in must cater to an older crowd or have an owner who loves the game. Not a fan of any of it. I’m a sucker for kitchen gadgets though, even though I don’t cook anymore. Seen anything new?