Guzzle Gifts

Guzzle Gifts

 

For me?

 

Got a drinker on your gift list?

How about a bottle of wine from a local winery?

Some crafted beer from an area brewpub?

Or fine spirits from your state agency?

 

Then, head to Ollie’s to get your party started!

 

The one and only.

 

If you are not familiar, Ollie’s is a closeout retailer selling its wares at below market prices.

They use the tagline “Good Stuff Cheap.”

Which, according to Google Translator, means “Shit you don’t need for a low price.”

 

Funny looking fellow.

 

There’s even a caricature drawing of Ollie.

And from what he has to peddle in his stores, I assume he’s drinking a tall glass of Kaluha!

 

So, belly up and let’s shot…er, I mean, shop!

 

Whose spin?

 

First, we have the “Bottoms Up Shot Spinner.”

“Great for parties” for sure!

Not so much when drinking alone…”Leave the arrow pointing at me, ya loser!”

 

You feeling lucky?

 

There’s the popular “Drinking Roulette.”

“Includes shot glasses.”

At just six bucks, you can bet those are fine crystal.

 

The X & O becomes blurry after a while.

“Shot Glass Tic Tac Toe.”

Because it is so ‘adult’ to add booze to a popular children’s game.

The ad says “Loser takes a shot!”  Well, what the hell does the winner get?  If that’s the rule, I’ll lose the game on purpose every time!

 

Lock’em up!

 

With all this drinking going on, you might need a “Phone Jail”….but for car keys!

No one’s driving home after this blow-out!

 

 

You’re a lady’s man, now!

Finally, Ollie’s has the “Hands-Free Bottle Holder.”

“Holds any beverage!”…how about my dignity?

What do I do with my hands?…Grope the party host?  Only six bucks at Ollie’s…who’s selling it for $9.99..Macy’s?

Is that wet spot from your beer bottle…or crotch sweat?

You buzzed Ollie?

 

This has been one heck-of-a party thanks to Ollie!

But from the picture, I can’t tell if these are supposed to be snowflakes or Ollie is lit on his ass!

 

All in good fun.

Ollie’s is a pretty cool store.  You’ll always find something there…and cheap too!

Enjoy the holidays.  And please drink responsibly.

P.S.  More “Good Stuff Cheap”…

Call me “dead-eye.”

 

Yes, nothing says you “work well with others”

better than desktop weaponry.

 

 

You smell hot, Shawn Mendes.

 

 

Good to know I can smell like a hormone-surging teenager for under a fiver.

 

Popular with J6 participants.

 

Nice.

Camo lounge wear.

Where are you relaxing…in the bush?

 

Mmm…hypertension awaits!

 

 

And lastly, Summer Sausage.

Because I always shop a closeout retailer for my ‘cured meats.’

2 Replies to “Guzzle Gifts”

  1. Until now, I thought the only shot glass drinking game was the one where you take a shot every time someone says a particular word. What will they think of next? I can think of so many annoying words and phrases I hear all the time when I would like to take a shot. But for now I will just leave it for everybody’s imagination.

    1. Margaret,
      You need to get with the times, sister. Drinking has become much more creative!
      Thanks for your comment! This round’s on me.