Clueless Classified

Clueless Classified


No messy newsprint.
No messy newsprint.



A newspaper’s classified ads are the unheralded leader of entertainment.


And as you know by now, a vital source of useless fodder for this dismal web page.



That being said, my dear (and eagle-eyed) friend Leah shared yet another classified gem from the local fish wrap…..


Not really in the market.
Not really in the market.


It’s not uncommon to find classified ads in the paper selling cemetary lots.

But I’ve always been curious…..”Why?”

Did someone discover the fountain of youth?

Have they been cured?

Are they a vampire?

All solid questions in my mind.


Well I’m certain you have noticed the oddity in this particular ad, but I’ll point it out anyway…


Comfy, climate-controlled.
Comfy, climate-controlled.


Yup, “Heated/air conditioned.”

Again I ask…..”Why?”


I supposed if you have lived a less than stellar life of crime & expect to spend eternity down there where it is “hot-as-heck”…I would understand the need for the whole air conditioning thing.

But I have more questions.

Do I have my own thermostat?

Are utilities included?

Furnace filters…who changes the furnace filters?

And where are the registers?  I don’t like them blowing directly on me.

Lots of questions.  Guess I need to call.


You gotta love clueless classifieds!

Thanks for killing some brain cells with me.

Happy weekend.







2 Replies to “Clueless Classified”

  1. What I want to know, is there such a thing as an “outside” mausoleum crypt? Do you think maybe the $8300 asking price is what covers the utilities for the next 50 years?