Back To School Shopping

Back To School Shopping



Back to school sale

It’s “Back To School” time and retailers are busy peddling the goods our schoolchildren need to succeed!

My Odd Sock has been scouring the sale ads looking for the most ridiculous “gotta-haves.”  And let me tell you—retailers didn’t disappoint!

It’s “Back To School Shopping”….My Odd Sock style!


Grab a shopping cart and let’s get started…….





First stop, Bed Bath & Beyond checks in with this gem….

a retro handset for a mobile phone!

Now is it just me–or is this contraption about the dumbest thing ever!

If you want to talk with a handset–use a land line!

(Although, with this gadget, at least I could talk hands-free by wedging the handset between my shoulder and my chin.)




Body pillow


At Kmart, you’ll find this adorable, tongue-wagging, smiley face body pillow!

That’s a strange image to put on a body pillow.

Recalling the odors & the drool that flow from my body while I slumber, that face would look more like Mr. Yuk, the poison-control guy!

And what’s that?….Kmart now has “memberships?”  Just how difficult is it to join Kmart?  “Let’s see, should I join Kmart…..or MENSA?”

I gotta believe if you can find your way through the automatic doors, you qualify at Kmart!



Big screen TVThe electronics retailer H.H. Gregg offers this back-to-school item.

Yeah, what kid doesn’t need a 60-inch LED Smart TV!

At $1,897–why not get one for EACH student in the family.

I like the fact you can save seven hundred and TWO dollars.  Gosh, that extra two bucks makes the deal so much more appealing.

A kid with this TV will get A LOT of studying done.  Talk about magna-dumb-laude.





Because every university student needs a comfortable bed, Big Lots advertises this colorful ensemble…..


With all the different patterns & colors, the kid would be too occupied having seizures to attend class!

Album covers for the Grateful Dead have less going on!

My God, where is he or she going to school—-Clown College?



Premium Jeans


Young academics need to look their very best.

That’s why Kohl’s is selling these men’s PREMIUM denim jeans!


Yes, looking good is important at school……or the shelter!

I’ve seen better dressed meth-lab operators!

I give up.  I must be completely out of style.




You must love the models in the back to school ads too……..



Studious kid


Here is a studious lad all set for campus.


Good looking kid wearing his clunky glasses to make him look like a brainiac.  An Ivy-Leaguer, I’d say.

Wait, just how many layers of clothing is this dude wearing?

Three?  Why three?  Does he have hypothermia?

Where does he go to school…U of A?  (University of Antarctica)



Geeky kid


Here is another kid from the same ad.

Whoa, what’s up with him?

Either he just bit into a lemon or he’s riding the short bus!

Did he get stung by a bee?  Or does he have a zit that really hurts?

Not a very flattering look for this young, male model.  Can’t imagine him putting this in his portfolio.  “Yes, here I am as a geek in a Kohl’s ad.”

Nice watch too.  Did that come with his Happy Meal?





BBQ GuyFinally, this really isn’t back-to-school, but the photo looks odd nonetheless.

This Guy Fieri wanna-be looks sharp in his BBQ outfit.  He’s the grillmaster all right.  You can tell by his big, puffy hat.  Either that or he’s the backyard pimp!

He has it all…the heat mitt, the apron and the BBQ tools.

But the placement of the spatula bothers me.  It looks like something worn by a hockey goalie!


From the grin on his face, I can tell he’s a jokester, lightening the mood of the cookout with his wit.  He is saying “Hey, anyone wanna use my spatula to flip the meat?–turn the food on the grill while you’re at it!



I don’t know about you, but all this shopping has left me exhausted.

Good thing back-to-school sales happen only once a year!

At least our kids now have everything they need——Oh crap, I forgot pencils!  I gotta go.


5 Replies to “Back To School Shopping”

  1. Too funny! Now I’ll be looking at those ads a lot closer! Love the big TV one! Having taught (and ‘principaled’) at schools where the kids lacked little, that purchase wouldn’t surprise me at all.

  2. OMG…now I can’t bring myself to go shopping for kids stuff…I’m terrified I’ll run into one of those braniac wanna-be’s.

  3. Hey Doug!!! I just caught up with your posts…everytime I read your stuff,I wish you lived next door and we could hang out and laugh at all this ridiculousness!!! lol

  4. Olivia,
    Thank you, but I am NOT moving. Do you know how difficult it is to sell a double-wide mobile home these days.