Missing Body Parts

Missing Body Parts


The English language can be a savage beast.

The vernacular of some words and phrases can leave a strikingly gruesome scar in the minds of others.  (I oughta know, my use of adjectives & adverbs put my 7th grade English teacher in a coma for weeks!)


For example, when I ask a buddy what he has been doing lately, his usual answer is “I’ve been working my A$$ off!”  And if he isn’t “working his A$$ off” he describes “running his A$$ off.”

That’s a lot of “A$$ off” activity in my book!

I like to tease him by adding “If you are working your A$$ off, how do your pants fit?”



bent over


Guy looking for his own A$$





On the other hand, a different friend likes to say he is “laughing his A$$ off.”

That sounds much more fun than “working your A$$ off!”

(From a physiological perspective, I’ve experienced a “belly laugh”—but an “A$$” laugh must be more intense.  And to laugh the A$$ clean off, well that just seems near impossible!)

Personally, I have “shot my mouth off” a few times.  Now “shooting your mouth off” seems painful—expensive too with all the required dental work!



My Dad would say a family friend could “talk your ears off.”  He was right too.  Mary was a non-stop talker!  We would feed her potato chips just for a moment of silence!



mushroom cloud


I have also thought my “head was going to explode” at times.  And with the size of my melon–we’re talking a mushroom-cloud like explosion!



If given a choice, I would rather “work my A$$ off” than “having my head explode.”  But that’s my opinion.



elbox greaseWhen scrubbing pots & pans, we are frequently told to “put a little elbow grease into it.”

That’s kinda gross—and hard to fathom too.

Now I have grease in my elbows?  No wonder my  cholesterol numbers are so flippin high!



Well, since I’ve been “working my fingers to the bone” on this piece, I’ll turn it over to you.

If you can think of other gross expressions we use everyday–go ahead and pass them my way.  But keep them short–or else my “head will explode” as I “laugh my A$$ off!”


This post was inspired by a friend of My Odd Sock.


3 Replies to “Missing Body Parts”

  1. Hey, here’s one:

    “Sweating like a pig.”

    That makes no sense…pigs don’t sweat…they don’t have sweat glands.