Disability Is In The Cards

My sincere apology but the Thanksgiving turkey’s triptophan is still kicking around in my big, empty head.  So here is another “twice is nice” post.

 

Recently I was approved for Social Security Disability.

Good or bad, being labeled a “gimp” by your Federal Government elicits a mixed bag of emotions on your psyche.

Family & friends have been very supportive during the whole process and many offered words of encouragement..even extending heartfelt congratulations upon my approval (that in itself was a little strange–in an odd sort of way).

I wondered if I would receive any cards of congrats. (I didn’t)  I wondered if greeting card companies even make such a card? (They don’t)  So I thought I would give it a try to come up with a few greeting card slogans of my own….

“Your bladder dribbles.  Your legs are tight.  And now Social Security is looking bright.”

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“Your feet may scuff & shuffle, but your disability is no truffle.”

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“Don’t lose your balance—Congrats you’re approved!”

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“We hear there’s good news to share…like wearing spandex and thong underwear.”

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“You already get the best parking spaces.  Check the mail & you’re off to the races.”

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“The myelin sheath is full of holes…and now you’re on the public dole.”

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“Once a month you’ll get your dough…soon you’ll be on the Maury Povich Show!”

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“We have a check with your name on it…that puts to an end this welfare sonnet.”

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Now you can see why I was rejected by American Greetings!