Going With The Flow

Going With The Flow

One cannot anticipate the unpredictability of MS.

When you ying, it yangs.  Go left, it goes right.

Yep, multiple sclerosis has a mind of its own.  And you can’t change it no matter what.

So you better have a contingency plan.

That’s what happened last week while doing some much needed weeding of the flower beds.

Because of a complete lack of balance on the uneven, grassy surface, my rollator is as important to me as a garden trowel.

I loaded all the needed tools into its basket and began my slow trek through the yard.

Now when I say “slow,” I mean season-changing slow.  (My speed matches the mating cycle of a cicada.)

My goal is to get to the farthest portion of the flowerbed.  Plop down to my hands & knees…to then weed (and crawl) my way back to the house.

The plan is working flawlessly.

I’m weeding and crawling and pushing the rollator while I weed and crawl some more.

By now, I’m about halfway done when the urge strikes like a rattlesnake on Red Bull….

….I gotta pee.


To hell with a faucet!…..


….A waterfall’s more like it!

My bladder is about to burst like a levee during Katrina.

I quickly size up this difficult situation..

I’m too far and much too slow to make it back inside the house.

This calls for drastic outdoor maneuvers.

I look around…


To the south, I’m shielded by the air conditioning unit.


To the north, I am flanked by my rollator.


While the neighbor’s shed has my cover to the rear.

Sitting back while on my knees, I work it out the leg of my shorts when I make a radical discovery……


….For God’s sake, loose the gloves!

You’re handling your johnson, not a wolverine!

And move the friggin shovel or else it’ll splatter like a sprinkler!


I take aim at the only thing within range….this lovely red posey.

(It’s a guy thing.  We MUST pee on SOMETHING.)

Hmm, mixing red & yellow.  No wonder this flower is now orange.

But it all worked out.  No runs.  No drips.  No errors.

I completed my gardening and made my way into the house.

My point is…..there is no point.  Except to always have a back-up plan.  And if that doesn’t work–just go with the flow.


7 Replies to “Going With The Flow”

  1. I had a similar experience on vacation while taking a stoll through the forest. Not having the same “equipment”, I had to drop the britches and try to squat. Not a happy ending, as squating with MS is not possible.

  2. Karen,
    (I thought it was just me being unable to squat anymore–my legs give out!)
    Thank you for fessing up!

  3. I think you should have left your readers thinking “it” IS a wolverine!

    Isn’t MS grand, with the near-constant and sudden urges to pee? So.Much.FUN!

  4. You have a great sense of humor about living with MS….the photos completed the picture for us of your predicament…..and now you have pretty flowers to be proud of!

  5. Sitting here laughing out loud at this one – those gardening gloves!! Can relate to the urgency of the situation.