One last encore presentation…A new My Odd Sock will magically appear on Monday, June 13th!

Put your hands together for a My Odd Sock favorite…..Brain Drain!

For those of you new to My Odd Sock, Brain Drain is an opportunity to pull the plug on the offbeat thoughts bouncing around in this big, empty head of mine.  Let’s get this party started…..

Body Builder

First up is a new exercise gadget called the Shake Weight. 

The Shake Weight is a motorized dumbbell that moves back & forth like a piston, shifting the weight for a greater intensity in one’s workout.

I don’t have a problem with the Shake Weight as a product…it’s the commercial that leaves you feeling a bit “skeevy!”

The commercial I saw features a lady holding the Shake Weight very close to her chest, straight up & down.  And this thing is moving its groove.  It ah…let’s just say…something didn’t seem right about this picture. 

 I imagined some guy thinking he was in a video booth trying to feed quarters into his TV to keep the commercial going!

Apparently, Shake Weight also has a commercial featuring men using the product in just the same manner.  Drawing from my advertising background, I surmise Shake Weight is trying to gain “market-share” with those playing for the other team, so to speak.

Let’s move on…..

Dollars For Scholars

Because my oldest will soon be off to college, we have begun the exhaustive search for scholarship money.  I signed up with a free search website that uncovers scholarship opportunities and alerts me with the details.  So the other day I get an email stating “New Awards Are Waiting For You!”

And the offer was…….

“New Look Laser Tattoo Removal Scholarship (Amount: $1,000)”

Yes.

Uh hm.

Yup, I had the same stupid look on my face as you do right now!

Here are the details…..

“The New Look Laser Tattoo Removal Scholarship is available to students majoring in a field that has advanced the field of laser tattoo removal whether through research & development or clinical practice to qualify for this award.  An essay of 300-500 words must be submitted.”

Just imagine those essays!….

“My momma has an eagle tattoo but her back-fat makes it look all lumpy & junk.  She wanted to have it removed….”

“I have a ‘3′ tattoo for Dale Earnhardt, but he done died.  I’m wundering if I can have it….”

“I believe tattoos are temporary.  It’s nipple-rings that are forever!”

Moving along…

Dirty Laundry

In the clothes basket, I noticed the tag from a pair of Levi jeans.

My Levi jeans were…..made in EGYPT?

Egypt?  Isn’t Levi-Strauss a proud American company?

Great.  It’s 110 degrees outside and some poor Egyptian woman is sewing my denim!  I’ll think about her while I’m at the mall sucking down an Orange Julius!

Egypt…home to the great pyramids, one of the seven wonders of the world—-and Levi jeans!

Oh yeah, from Social Studies class, I remember the ancient drawings of Egyptian Pharaohs wearing dungarees!

In King Tut’s tomb, they found gold bullion….and a pair of 501’s!  Even King Tut hated button-fly jeans.  (Who came up with that genius concept anyway?)

That’s it.  I’m done.

Phew.  I feel better now.  I unloaded so much brain-baggage I think my forehead collapsed!…..No wait, that’s just a receding hairline.

Letting my fingers do the walking through the Yellow Pages of the phone book is a kick I’ve enjoyed for many years.  It’s a fun way to kill some time when you have a moment.

Maybe it’s my background in advertising that draws me to gander at the ads.  Or, maybe it’s my fascination with the bizarre.  (Because the Yellow Pages are FILLED with the bizarre!)

"T" for Tattoo

Take for instance the actual names of Tattoo Parlors in My Odd Sock’s corner of the world.

Let’s start at the top…….

Asylum Tattoos   The “crazy” genre seems to be quite popular among the tattoo industry.  Here, I picture padded walls & people in straight-jackets.

Avenging Tiger Tattoo   Probably a ninja theme here.  Maybe a fat Steven Seagal works here—I haven’t seem him in a while.

Bad Boy Tattoo & Body Piercing   The bad boy, rebel image is often associated with tattoos.  Can’t say I would want a body piercing done by someone who is pissed off!

Bitter Hearts Tattoo   This name has a positive ring to it!  I see a disgruntled tattoo artist sitting there, muttering to himself…”I shoulda studied harder in art school &%$#@!!”

Black Hearts Tattoo   OK, is this a good name or bad?

Fat Cats Tattoo   Obviously the “Lane Bryant” of the ink world?

Hooligan Ink Tattoo  Sounds like some one on work release from the neighborhood penitentiary.

Ink Addiction Tattoo   Hey kids, I want the tattoo on my skin–NOT injected into my veins!

Old School Tattooz   Tattoos done the old-fashion way!  Bite down on an old leather bit and suck up the pain.

Permanent Ink Tattoos   That’s redundant isn’t it?  Aren’t all tattoos permanent?  Maybe this is the tattoo place for stupid people…”Yerz are permnent–the tats in Cracker Jack always wash off!”

Sacred Ink Tattoo & Piercing   Guess the ink has been blessed by a priest!  They specialize in driving nails through your palms!

Sicricks Tattoos   Rick should see a doctor.  Don’t think I’ll be going there.

Skin & Bonez Tat2   I wonder if “Skin & Bonez” is anywhere near “Fat Cats” (from above)?

Spider’s Tattoo   Express tattoos cause the guy has eight arms!  Does anyone else believe you could find an eye patch here?

And finally,

Squirrelly’s Skin Art   Again with the “crazy” theme.

Sorry, but I’m just not comfortable with the whole “looney”, “nuts” idea.

Nice hardware!

But you can’t knock their success.

I mean, Squirelly’s IS a “World Award Winning Artist.”

Just check out those finely-crafted bowling trophies in the window!

Now please note, the firms listed above are fine, established, reputable businesses…I’m just using them as an example of the fun you can find in your local phone book.  Crack it open and let your fingers do the walking!