OK, maybe “access denied” is a bit extreme.

Let’s try “access impeded”…or “access inconvenienced.”

Whatever you call it, if you use a wheelchair, scooter or rollator, getting around, into, or out of a place, building or activity can be downright frustrating at times.

For instance, just this past weekend, I attended a football game in a stadium that was built WAY before the A.D.A. was even a glimmer of an idea.

The stadium probably dated somewhere between the Roman Empire and the birth of Gandhi.  Needless to say it wasn’t easy to plant my tuckus on that splintery, wooden plank of a seat!

The journey began by rolling my wheelchair down a long. very narrow walkway situated below & in front of the grandstand.  The walkway had chain-link fencing along both sides.  And it was narrow–my knuckles scraped the sides as I rolled my chair.  So narrow in fact, you can find wider birth canals on the “Jerry Springer Show.”  It was so close Gabourey Sidibe’s skinny jeans have more room!

Finally reaching the end, bloody knuckles and all, I realized with no ramp I would be forced to ditch the wheelchair and climb the dozen steps to the seating area. 

Being early evening, fatigue was working overtime…that, along with nervousness of a new situation…and spasticity from a two-hour car ride were triple-teaming me to a frustrated pulp!  But forging ahead, I held my cane & the rail in my right hand while using my left hand to lift, first my left leg and then my right leg up EACH step.

It was ridiculously slow going.  Egyptians built the pyramids faster!

Reaching the top, I felt like Sir Edmund Hillary.  I wanted to plant a flag into the ground to signify my conquest…but instead, I lost grip of my cane and it slipped between the boards, falling 12 feet to the ground below–doinking a woman on the head along the way.

I let loose with a sentence of expletives that would make a street thug blush.  I was proud of using a curse word as a subject, verb, adjective and even a preposition in the SAME sentence!

Some kind soul handed my cane back through the boards and off I went to find a seat.

As I mentioned before, these were old bleachers, so there were no railings, not even aisles for that matter!  There was no way I could climb the seats for a higher vantage point–so in the front row I sat.  (With everyone milling in front of me, I realized why no one sat in the front row!)

After the game, we waited for everyone to exit the stands before I attempted my herky-jerky walk.  We went through the same obstacle course as before, only this time we were directed to a different exit gate.  This gate was inspired by the stockyards of Chicago as it included a chain-link (they LOVE chain-link in this place!) U-shaped corral.  Again, it was so narrow, I had to collapse my wheelchair and walk through the steel-cage confines to freedom.  (My God, I’ve been in roomier MRI tubes!)

My point in sharing this long-winded adventure is that we as MSers are quite blessed to live in the era we do.  The work of the A.D.A. has opened doors for those of us who need a little extra assistance.  Sure, from time to time we run into obstacles like I faced last Friday night.  But they only serve to remind us of how far we’ve come!

Have a horror story you dare to share?  Lay it on us and listen for the chorus singing “Been there-Done that!”

Happy Trails.

Multiple Sclerosis has taken a lot from you.

Maybe it’s your balance…ability to walk…your vision

…or bladder control.  Or maybe you are one of the lucky few where MS has taken all of the above!  (Too bad you weren’t that lucky with a lottery ticket!)

Swallowing some pride, many of these problems can be corrected.  I can walk with a rollator.  Wear an adult diaper.  And read with a magnifying glass.

But when MS begins screwing with your mind—it’s a whole nother ball game.

There are no mobility aids when self-doubt enters the room.  When confidence escapes through the tiniest crack.  And self-worth is about as abundant as the lint in your pants pocket.

The Funny Meter

Hey Funny Meter, you are quick to the punch today!

What, you couldn’t find the funny in the latest GOP Debate?

Please leave me alone.

Pardon the interruption.

My point is, if you have any weakness, any chink in the noggin, MS will find it and draw on it till it comes to a head like the pimple on a teenager’s face.

Doubt swells to the point of questioning your worth as a provider, spouse, parent or partner…whatever your role!

Funny Meter taking a different approach.

While multiple sclerosis gnaws on your brain from the outside.  Self-doubt and blows to personal confidence & pride chew on your brain from the inside.

It’s a one-two punch that will knock you on your keyster!

Personally, I think mind games of this disease are the worst aspect.  It has been a constant struggle of mine to maintain value.  Over the years, I have swallowed so much ego, my belch could register on a Richter Scale.

So what do you do?

Funny Meter tries yet again.

For starters, one must realize you are not alone.  I gotta believe this is a pretty common plight among those of us with MS.  Ask around.  Discuss it with a family member.  Join an MS support group (you can find one in your area through the MS Society).  Or ask your doc.

It helps to write about it as well–like I’m doing (Just be sure to use better grammar in your writing).

Have you dealt with similar feelings?

How do you handle it?

What advice can you offer to me and others?

Now it’s your turn.  I look forward to reading your comments as we play the mind games of MS.

Today, texting has become a popular vehicle of communication.

People of all ages use texting, rather than calling, as their preferred choice of sharing information.

Texting has spawned a whole new, Internet language of word & phrase shorthand to aid in rapid conversation.

Not to be left out, those of us with multiple sclerosis, can enjoy our own special Internet language.

With that, My Odd Sock proudly presents….

HH-     Heat & Humidity

NE-     No Energy

WL-     Weak Legs

ILAC-     I Love Air Conditioning

SH-     Shopping

GC-     Grocery

SOS-     Scooter Stuck Between Registers.  Send Help!

IVS-     IV Steroids

SOL-     Solumedrol

UCK-     Mouth Tastes Like Metal

AFO-     Ankle Foot Orthoses

FR-     Foot Roll

PF-     Plantar Flexion

DAMMIT-     Can’t Fit AFO Into MY Dress Shoes!

C-     Copaxone

A-     Avonex

R-     Rebif

SN-     Shot Night

AATB?-     Arm?  Ass?  Thigh?  Belly?

FD-     Foot Drop

SH#T!-     Foot Drop Caused Me To Step In Dog Poop

MA-     Mobility Aids

CN-     Cane

CR-     Crutches

RL-     Rollator

WC-     Wheel Chair

PS-     Power Scooter

HUIKLLJHVBGHTF-     Got Every Friggin Mobility Device Known To Man

SERHFTUKLIKBVK-     Toddler Playing With Cell Phone

DDDDDOOOIINNG-     Texting While Wheelchair Pushed Across Bumpy Yard

BC-     Bladder Control

GGRN-     Gotta Go Right Now

MFRR-     Must Find Rest Room

TL-     Too Late

AIF-     Any I Forgot?

PLAC-     Please Leave A Comment

ASAP-     As Soon As Possible

TE-     The End

This post has soul.

When you have multiple sclerosis, walking can be a daunting challenge…pick up your bad foot…keep your balance…make sure your feet don’t scissor…step on a crack–break your mother’s back.

You get the picture.

It is compete concentration for man’s basic mode of transportation.

But as an MSer, you must now add to the equation–the surface upon which you tread.  Because many of the decorative floors people on HGTV “ooh & ahh” over…wreak fear in the eyes of you & me.

For example, this past weekend, my family & I enjoyed a restaurant we had never visited before.

Arrgh, walk the plank.

Before even entering the place, I had to trek over cobblestones…to wood planking…to thick carpeting.

My short walk was the “Trifecta of Trepidation!”

From the uneven footing of the cobblestones, to the uneven & adhesive properties of the planking, to the feeling of walking in a mucky mud of the thick carpet—by the time I got inside, we had to switch from the lunch menu to the dinner menu!

Here are some other surfaces that play footsie with my walking ability…

Sloped like my forehead

Downward Slopes  Nothing like a slight downhill surface to someone (MSer) who shuffles in a slight downhill posture!

Throw a rollator into the mix and we go like a Soap Box Derby racer!

I would rather step off the curb than tenderly step down the accessible slope.

Shiny Hospital Floors  Schools, museums, lobbies, grocery stores.  Any polished, hard floor that catches my feet and causes them to squeak like LeBron James on a basketball court.

Your floor may be clean enough to eat off of, but I don’t care to do a face plant and give it a try!

What the hell is this?

I don’t even know how to explain this surface!

It’s a sidewalk with concrete nipples.  Am I walking on Lego’s here?

Neil Armstrong was less scared to step on the moon than I am to cross this walkway!

The green, green grass of home.

Grass  It’s tough to walk through grass when you have foot drop.  I always seem to catch half a bushel blades of grass where the sole of my shoes meets the toe.

The good thing about walking on grass is that when you fall, it is a soft landing. 

The bad thing about falling in grass is that my neighbor has five dogs!

Broken cement/asphalt, plush carpeting, gravel and sand…gimme the surface and I’ll cringe with every footfall.

Have I forgotten a surface that leaves you on shaky ground?  Put your best foot forward and let me know of your not-so-favorite place to hoof-it.  (How’s that for a lousy paragraph of lame cliche’s!)

Wherever you walk, just remember to be cognitive of what you are about to step into—-ESPECIALLY if you are at my neighbor’s house!

Confusion

Yep, crowds, chaos & confusion.  Nothing brings this Odd Sock to his knees faster than a situation involving any of these components.  (A kick to the nether-regions does too, but that’s a different story!)

As my MS has progressed, so has my ability to cope with these attention-diverting, energy-zapping triplets of trouble.

I get spooked by hustle & bustle, loud noises and frantic movement.

What gives with that?

Of course I blame it all on multiple sclerosis.  MS seems to be my “catch-all” of finger pointing!  (I outta know, being the youngest in my family, I got blamed for everything–so now I blame MS.)

If I am walking, it’s the fear of falling that fuels my anxiety.  What if someone trips on my cane?  What if my toe catches on something?  What if I get bumped and loose my balance?

I take pratfalls like a silent-movie comedian.  I’ve taken a tumble in a crowd before–and I sure as hell don’t want it to happen again.  So when walking I must concentrate very hard…and any ANY disruption can be a disaster!

Why not use a rollator or a wheelchair I hear you shout.

Well, let me tell you–my anxiety level still rises even with my backside firmly planted in a wheelchair!  People cut in & out in front of you.  I must stare intently at their feet–careful not to clip their heels with my foot rests.

In a crowd, a wheelchair rider sees nothing but asses to the front…and crotches to either side.  “Tramp Stamps” fill your sight lines while the after- effects of someone’s lunch fills your sense of smell.

Several years ago, I freaked out during a buffet luncheon on my first day on a cruise ship.  It was all three…crowds…chaos…and confusion.

People swarmed & darted like ravenous jackals.  I couldn’t move anywhere in my wheelchair without stopping, tripping or impeding someone’s feeding frenzy.

Gluttony Gone Wild!

I had lost my family in the rush and couldn’t get near enough to the food to make a selection.  Several staff members asked to help but I was so shocked I couldn’t answer.  Thankfully, my wife found me—realized I was near meltdown–and helped me to a better place.

The Funny Meter

Oh, thanks Funny Meter.

I’m telling the story of when I wanted to shove a butter knife into my thigh–and you want me to be funny?

Real class Funny Meter!

So I ask you…Is it MS?

Is MS the maestro who conducts my orchestra of anxiety?

Am I the only one who fears the triple threat of crowds, chaos & confusion?

I share my thoughts & experiences for your entertaiment, surely.  But also to help you realize you are not alone.  As MSers, we face many unique challenges and maybe, just maybe…we can get through them together.  (Geez, that sounds like a movie premise on Lifetime!)

Here are to calmer days ahead.

What will you find in the My Odd Sock Mixed Bag?

Who knows!

Actually this mixed bag is a collection of various ideas I had about life with multiple sclerosis.  They are simply blinks of an idea—not enough meat to serve as a main entree–so I just lumped them together in a pot luck post.

So lets reach into the mixed bag and see what we can find…

Give me a B.  Give me an O.  Give me a T-O-X.

Last week was my quarterly appointment for Botox injections in my legs to fight spasticity.

The shots in my calves & inner thighs offer a three-month reprieve from muscle tightness, spasms and cramps.

Botox injections are the only shots I LOVE to receive!

Not only does the Botox help control my MS spasticity, it also makes my legs look younger.  Check out these before & after pictures…

Before

Before Botox

After

After Botox treatment.

Hot And Heavy

I don’t have to tell you about how the summer’s heat & humidity are kicking our butts.

It feels as though my feet are wading through oatmeal with each heavy step!

Hulk Hands

And my hands?  Cripes, it’s fumble fingers to the Nth degree!  Forget those fiddly buttons on a shirt.  Plus, my text messages have more misspelled words than a five-year-old’s Christmas list!  (Damn small buttons!)

Even holding silverware can be a challenge when you have “Hulk Hands” due to high temps and choking humidity!

Where The Hell Is It?

If you think keeping track of a wandering toddler is difficult, try keeping tabs on a mobility aid (cane, crutches, rollator)!

I’ll lean my cane somewhere and “wall walk” somewhere else.  Then somewhere else.  Finally, I’ll need my cane and not remember where the heck I left it last!

A "Cane Klapper?"

I need some sort of signaling device that would let me know the location of my cane.  A “clap” or push of a button would make the cane  beep alerting me of its whereabouts.

To remedy this frequent lapse of memory, I try to lean my cane in the same go-to parking places…outside the bathroom door…at the bottom of the stairs…behind my chair in the dining room.

“Parking” my cane in the kitchen gets me aggravated because no matter which kitchen cabinet I place my cane in front of—THAT’S the cabinet I need to open!  “Friggin stick,” I’ll say.

(Disclaimer–A “Cane Klapper” would not solve my kitchen dilemma.  I just wanted to get it off my chest!)

Well, I warned you it was a motley assortment of MS stuff!

Anything you would care to add to the bag?  Go ahead and leave a comment.  We have plenty of room in the My Odd Sock MS Mixed Bag.

My Odd Sock and multiple sclerosis go Hollywood!

Many titles of feature films can be related to MS in some way, shape or form.  My Odd Sock thought it might be fun to draw some red-carpet comparisons to show you how!

Check out these flicks & what they mean in the world of MS…..

The Color Purple   (The color of the bruise on your hip from falling.)

A Bridge Too Far   (Heck, when I’m walking everything is too far!)

The Way We Were

Saturday Night Fever   (Describes flu-like symptoms from Avonex shot.)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When It Rains   (MSer’s really get wet!)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind   (Trying to get through a crowd with a rollator.)

The Right Stuff   (Acting like an astronaut inside an MRI tube.)

Easy Rider

Easy Rider   (Being pushed in a wheelchair!)

Poseidon Adventure   (Describes my bladder control issues.)

I, Robot   (Walking like 3CPO)

Footloose   (Foot drop folks can relate!)

Stranger Than Fiction   (The fluttery MS feelings running down your leg)

Seven Times A Day   (Duh!  Describes my urges to pee!)

Slumdog Millionaire   (Those of us on S.S. disability)

The Adventures of Elmo In Grouchland  (My Odd Sock on a bad day)

White Men Can’t Jump   (Especially when we have MS!)

The Money Pit   (Cost of your MS medication)

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang   (My stomach after eating Mexican)

Invasion of The Body Snatchers   (Yeah, what the hell happened to my body?)

The Great Escape   (Trying to get a scooter thru the checkout lane at the grocery)

On Golden Pond   (Having a potty accident while sitting in a wheelchair)

In God’s Hands   (Isn’t everything?)

The Longest Yard and Walking Tall   (A gaited double-feature!)

Finding Neverland   (Buttoning a shirt with fumble-fingers)

Zoolander   (Any meeting of an MS support group!)

Dumb and Dumber   (About an MSer who attempts to do thing he/she shouldn’t—and then tries to do it AGAIN)

Demolition Man   (Guy with MS emptying a dishwasher)

The Full Monty   (Trying to keep your balance while pulling up your pants inside a public bathroom stall)

Fahrenheight 451   (The damn temperature inside the doctor’s waiting room!)

Real Genius   (The lazy shopper who leaves his cart in the disabled parking space)

And finally, one last movie…

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest   (Any visit to your local Social Security Office)

We hope you have enjoyed this look at Hollywood’s salute to MS.

If you can think of any movie that relates to your MS experience, please share as we would love to hear it.

See you in the theater!  (I’ll be the one kicking the back of your seat)

Scary stuff, eh kids?

Thinking back to the day of your MS diagnosis, you may recall the fanatically-frightened thought pattern of your brain.

A whirlwind of what-ifs, how’s thats and it-can’t-be’s.

Heart pounding mental images of canes, walkers and wheelchairs, oh my!

It was the fear of the future…and what the future holds.

We know because each of us have experienced our own “movie of the week” moment.  I believe I may have dampened my Dockers upon hearing the news!

Looking back

Today, nearly 15 years after my diagnosis, I look down to find my cane hooked over my thigh..there is an AFO strapped to my leg..a rollator in the garage..and a wheel chair in the trunk of my hand-controlled car!

All of my previous fears.  All of my terrifying dreams….have come true.

And as I lift my hand to scratch my ever-expanding forehead I realize one thing……….that it isn’t as bad as I had feared!

I also realized I don’t fear the future like before.  In fact, I rarely think of it (like changing my toothbrush)!  Because now I know it is all about today.  Today is all we have for sure!

Let me ask you, did you fear the future with your diagnosis?  Can you look back now and remember all of your needless worry?  I would love to hear your side!

Yeah, the scary stuff of MS just isn’t that frightful anymore.  Maybe it is the peace that resides within that makes us calmer.  An appreciation for what we have—rather than what we have lost.

This post has been rated “weak” by the My Odd Sock Advisory Board

I will punish myself by watching back-to-back episodes of Dr.Phil.

With an interest in your public safety, My Odd Sock would like to remind you that old man winter’s ice & snow can make traveling quite treacherous–so be careful on your journey.

Duh!

This message isn’t just for those in motor vehicles.

I’m speaking to all MSers & others who “motor-vate” using canes, crutches and rollators!

You see, winter’s slippery conditions can make these mobility aids as useless as spike heels on a frozen lake.  (Not that I have worn spike heels on a frozen lake.)

Canes & Crutches, Crutches & Canes.

On the ice, these guys are deadly.  To safely put a weight-bearing pole on the ice–you better stick your landing like Mary Lou Retton.  In other words, a straight up & down-90 degree plant, because otherwise a cane or crutch will slip out from under you.

A snowy-tipped cane

In the snow, a cane or crutches work well, but you must be careful when coming indoors.

The snow accumulates around the tips of your gear like guys huddling around a TV at a wedding reception!

So clear that excess snow away before you take a step inside.

Slip-Sliding faceplant!

Next, scope out the floor of the room you are entering.

If it is carpeted, there shouldn’t be a problem.  But if the floor is smooth like concrete or tile, the wet tips of your gear, even the wet floor itself, can leave you giving head-first chin music to a floor near you!

Your cane should be dryed AND styled!

That is why I always properly dry (and style) the end of my cane! 

(Twisting the end into a throw-rug works just as well!)

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.

Like drivers of SUV’s who think they are impervious to the perils of winter weather, MSers using rollators should also heed caution!

A recent walk down my slightly-sloping driveway became a white-knuckle ride as my rollator began picking up speed.

Pumping the brakes

Instinctively, I squeezed my brake handles causing my wheels to lock up.  The rollator careened toward a snowbank when I remembered the first rule of winter driving….”Always pump the brakes.”

Thus, by pumping my handbrakes, I regained control of my rollator and averted a dangerous situation.

A skid! When will this nightmare end?

Moments later as I over corrected a turn, the rollator entered a skid.

Responding with the reflexes of a Formula One driver, I remembered the second rule of winter driving….”Turn into the direction of the skid.”

Thankfully, with the adeptness of Captain Sully, I guided my rollator safely back into my garage.

Lesson learned.

And let this be a lesson to you too!  I only share my harrowing experiences so you may not make the same mistakes–but be safe in your own haven.

Would you like to share a personal winter experience?

Can you offer tips to others for making the next journey safer?

Remember, slow & steady.  (If you have MS, you probably have the “slow” part down pat!)

A pictorial of animal tracks in the snow…..

Dog

Birds

Raccoon

Person with MS (cane aided)

Person with MS (Right foot-drop)

Person with MS using rollator

Person with MS falling on butt