I just received, quite possibly, the worst gift ever.

Now, don’t get me wrong and think I’m an ungrateful S.O.B.

Because I truly appreciate the thought of the gift giver.  And I showered that person with many gratuitous “Oh, you shouldn’t haves.”

But giving a gift card from Pier One Imports to a middle aged man is like giving pork to a Rabbi!

Yes, I am now the proud owner of a $50 dollar gift card from Pier One Imports!

I can hardly wait to begin my shopping spree!

Let me say up front, Pier One Imports is a fine retail establishment.  An upstanding corporate entity with a strong, solid foundation built upon……..wicker!

A Pier One gift card would be a terrific gift idea if I was say……a cabana boy.  Or a burnt out devotee of Jimmy Buffett.

But just how many melon-ballers does one need?

Last time I was in Pier One Imports, I lost my mind while browsing the macrame parrot aisle!

Now I have fifty dollars to spend.  I figure I could buy everything in the store and still have enough leftover for an ice cream cone.  Fifty bucks is probably more than the Gross National Product of the countries that produce that crap!

I’m wastin-away again in Bamboo-ville!

I should really keep an open mind and give my local Pier One Import store a visit.  I’m sure I’ll find something I just can’t live without.

Maybe a wicker casket?

Yes, they make them.

I think I’ll crawl inside because with this My Odd Sock I’m dying with sarcasm.

Happy shopping!