She is.
The icon of freedom.
A symbol of hope. The emblem of opportunity.
A welcoming foresight of a better life…and new beginnings.
She is…Lady Liberty. And she is the motherly ambassador, the representative of all that stands for this great country of ours…thee United States of America!
Since 1886, thousands…MILLIONS of immigrants were first greeted by her sovereign warmth.
Her stake in prosperity.
And her defiant stare of safe haven.
“Give me your tired, your poor–your huddled masses yearning to be free.”
But what exactly happened to this glorious totem?
How does one explain this fall of symbolism?
For her cause I support. Yet, this long-standing “Wal-Mart Greeter” of America has stumbled.
And I found her in my neighborhood…..
America's beautiful lady
For the Lady who for over a century has welcomed weary immigrants to the land of opportunity…..
…has today been forshortened to greet passing motorists to have their taxes done!
Yes, some naysayers may dismiss her as just another “celeb” gone bad.
But My Odd Sock sees a backbone of perseverance. A will as durable as her polyester costume.
Proud to be a sock!
My Odd Sock sees a Lady Liberty pulling on her Sketchers one at a time.
Working. Waving to those cars!
Her shoulders may ache–but she doesn’t feel it. Because she is compelled by fortitude…fueled by the honking motorists.
It is the hard-working symbolism of Lady Lib that has, and continues to drive this great nation’s breath of accomplishment.
God Bless Lady Liberty!
Magically delicious!
Blake sat with a puzzled look on his scruffy, morning face.
He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and wondered what had happened to his favorite breakfast fare.
Something was different. It didn’t feel quite right.
Wipe the milk from your chin, young Blake and I shall explain the cereal squeeze.
Here’s the skinny
Cereal manufacturers are feeling the pinch of higher costs as are other food companies.
Thus, you probably have noticed you are getting less product for the same (if not higher) price.
Duh, not that this is any big, earth-shattering revelation!
But I just love how the cereal companies try to hide the fact that the consumer is getting less.
How do they measure up?
The box fronts have remained the same size. (God forbid they surrender any shelf space at the local Piggly Wiggly!) But you may have noticed your box of cereal is getting REEEAALL skinny.
Maybe my hands grew from the steroid infusion, some have wondered.
Personally, I’ve read thicker magazines!
In fact, the packet of instructions jammed in Avonex are wider than a box of Fruit Loops!
Apple Jacks
Yum, these sound delicious!
The other morning I found myself enjoying a bowl of Apple Jacks.
Not just Apple Jacks mind you—these were Apple Jacks “Apple Clones” cereal.
Don’t you think the word “clones” is a bit strange to call a kid’s cereal?
Gimme a heapin bowl of Clones!
The name is even trademarked with a little “TM.”
Like any one in their right mind would steal the name “Apple Clones.”
Yeah, General Mills is kicking themselves because they didn’t come up with it first!
“Apple Clones.” Really?
Am I eating breakfast…..or a science experiment?
“Dolly” the sheep is notably the world’s most famous clone.
As you might expect from a “clone”, she looks identical to her counterpart.
My Odd Sock wanted to see how “Apple Clones” stacked up to their real counterpart, so we conducted an experiment.
Find the apple among these "clones."
In our experiment, we asked volunteers to find the apple that has been carefully hidden among several apple “clones.”
Can YOU find the “real” apple in this picture?
Look carefully.
And so this ends “A Soggy Cereal Saga.”
Now that you are wiser, please continue to pour the milk my morning brethren, as cereal continues to be a good part of your nutritious breakfast.
My Odd Sock jibberish
It is time to straighten up the “Topics” page of the My Odd Sock journal.
Time to clean up and clear out various bits & pieces of ideas and observations for your reading displeasure.
So, lend me a hand and we’ll get this done in no time.
C’mon…
Chevy Truck Ad
Have you seen the TV commercial for Chevy Trucks with the little boy?
He is driving home from work and encounters lots of obstacles including the family dog, bumpy roads and helping a lady who is stuck.
Welcome home, honey.
My favorite part of the ad is the shot of him arriving home and being greeted by his smoking hot wife, portrayed by a Laura Croft “Tomb Raider” doll.
(I wonder why he would ever leave the house!)
Favorite Gift
My favorite Christmas gift has to be hands down (no pun intended)….the “Ove Glove!”
In fact, I got TWO of them!
I love-ove-gloves!
My "Ove Gloves." Stylish AND versatile!
Great for baking muffins…..Not so necessary to shovel the driveway!
iPhone Fever
Not sure I understand all the hoopla over the new iPhone 4S with voice-activated response.
Have you seen the commercial where the kid asks his iPhone “Will it snow today?” The iPhone then answers with a voice AND the weather forecast.
OK, that’s pretty sweet. But I own an early prototype of this prognastic technology.
Let me show you…..
Magic 8 Ball always has an answer.
“Magic 8 Ball…Will it snow today?”
The 8 Ball silently responds..”As I see it, yes.”
There you have your answer. (And NO two-year contract!)
Celebrity Look-A-Likes
Animal Planet’s “River Monsters” is hosted by Jeremy Wade, who travels the world in search of gruesome, scary-looking creatures that lurk in the waters below.
It is an awesome show, but Jeremy, who’s a well-weathered fella, sometimes looks scarier than the fish he is hunting!
"River Monster's" Jeremy Wade (right)
The Grinch
When Jeremy smiles, he looks like “The Grinch!”
Here is GOP candidate Mitt Romney…
…who reminds me of the actor Lyle Waggoner from movies & the “Carol Burnett Show.”
Finally, we have the fine journalist and host of NBC’s “Meet The Press”….
David Gregory
…David Gregory.
Sock Monkey
..and his look-alike…a Sock Monkey!
Not to be mean, but they DO look alike!
That clears up My Odd Sock’s Loose Ends. How ’bout yours?
It is like plunging the toilet. Sometimes you just gotta do it.
And what better way to begin 2012 than with a clean slate….and an empty head!
So, I would like to drain the brain of some lingering nonsense from the previous year.
Shall we?
Let’s begin….
Work This
First, let me say I LOVE the creative process behind music, movies and television. Therefore, I despise the sheer laziness of any “remakes”, and ABC’s sitcom “Work It” is just that.
“Work It” is a bold face rip-off of the 80’s sitcom “Bosom Buddies” which starred Tom Hanks & Peter Scolari.
The premise of “Work It” involves two unemployed guys who dress as women to work as pharmaceutical sales reps in an all-female workplace. (Why is it, 90% of all drug reps & radio account executives are female? Just curious.) (Plus, what gives with an “all-female workplace?” Isn’t that illegal?)
I have never watched “Work It” and I don’t intend to based on principle. If you haven’t seen it, you better catch it fast because I guarantee “Work It” won’t be around for second shift!
Let’s move on…
Social Butterfly
Do you feel smothered by all the dating commercials on TV lately?
I saw an eHarmony commercial where the guy & girl were having drinks during their first meeting.
She says something like…”I read that people with smartphones have more sex.” He replies..”I have a Droid.”
They snicker and he says..”Uncomfortable.”
Uncomfortable?…I say Cha-Ching!
Wow, that’s interesting chat for the first date! I wasn’t sure if this was a commercial for eHarmony…or “Skoreit!”
I’m yelling at the TV…Hey, what about those of us with a “Jitterbug?”
Then you have the ”Who’s looking for you” commercials for Mylife.com
The young girl giggles and says…”Seven people are looking for me?”
What they don’t tell you is two of them are bill collectors, two are identity thieves and three are serial rapists!
Seriously, Mylife.com is being sued as folks claim they were told “someone is looking for you,” then charged them for a list of fake names!
Who is looking for me? I don’t want to know!
What’s next…
Do The Math
Mr. Clean...with Fabreze no less!
I was cleaning the bathroom using this bottle of “Mr. Clean with Fabreze.”
I admired the clean, fresh scent and the sparkling shine it left behind.
Then I noticed the sticker at the top of the bottle…
Get me the calculator!
What? One 8Ooz bottle equals two 4Ooz bottles? Since when?
Mr. Clean, do you take me for a fool?
Maybe your hair fell out because you smell chemicals all day, but most of us know “One 8Ooz bottle equals two 4Ooz bottles!”
Hey Mr Clean…Breaking news…one dollar equals four quarters! One foot-long sub equals two six-inch Subway subs!
That explains why you are known as “Mr. Clean” and not “Mr. Math!
So much for “Brain Drain #15.”
Anything you need to get off your chest? Spill your guts in a comment. You’ll feel better beginning 2012 with a clearer mind.
Throughout our great nation, citizens revolt. Demonstrations reign. Anger is vented by loud shouts of unfairness & inequality.
The majority (99%ers) versus the minority (1%ers) in a economic battle of David and Goliath.
I did not fully understand the deep meaning of these public outcrys. Until just the other day when the vision of their dismay became clear.
I felt their pain. My stomach churned. My heart raced inside my chest. I could feel the sweat on my back and wiped the dampness from my brow.
I squeezed the steering wheel even harder, hoping it would take my mind away from the obvious.
I was driving on a country road far from the demonstrations of people expressing their discontent. Yet, the pain in my gut drew me close.
That’s when I saw it…..
The crescent moon of relief.
A Porta-Palace!
It was a vision of beauty. And like the demonstrators, nothing could stop me now!
Not police in riot gear. Not tear gas. Not pepper spray. Nor rubber bullets.
I was about to conduct my own demonstrative movement when I reached for the handle….
Aaaah, dammit!
Why couldn’t the state afford TWO Porta-Pots at this location!
Clearly, this is a battle between the “Haves” and the “Haves-To-Go!”
Hold it in, Gimpy!
(From the Beastie Boys song)…I have a right….to poooooooootty!
One percent or ninety-nine—I’ll give any percent for the person to clear outta this john, right now!
My Odd Sock is next!
Finally it was my turn.
And as I locked the door handle to reveal the “occupied” sign–the meaning of the demonstrations became clear…..Always travel with your own toilet paper, because the last person in here used it all up! &%$#@!!
This time of year, it seems we find ourselves up to our nanny parts with “top ten, year in review” type junk.
And here at My Odd Sock (because I am as lame as all the rest), we offer all the same!
This “Not So Top Ten” list includes the best of the worst My Odd Sock’s from the past year. What makes them “top ten?” Nothing really. Just old posts I found interesting–and maybe you will too!
To read (and gag) a particular My Odd Sock, just visit the box on the bottom right and open the month of the post you want.
So, in no particular order are the My Odd Sock “Not So Top Ten For 2011.”
MS, one cool disease
1. “Q&A With MS” April 2011. My Odd Sock interviews the one & only MS. You’ll see this disease in a whole new light in this ridiculous profile.
2. “Tupperware Mating Season” March 2011. Ever wonder where all those plastic bowls under your cabinet come from? Odd Sock uncovers the truth in this Discovery Channel-type documentary.
3. “Roll Model” August 2011. In this post we discussed who we really look up to. Who is your MS role model? You may be surprised!
Texting made easy!
4. “MS Texting Shortcuts” September 2011. Here you learned a few texting shortcuts specifically created for those with MS.
OMG it’s good!
5. “My Odd Sock Christmas Wish List” December 2011. About as funny as a poop cramp. See what should have been on your Christmas list this year.
Nice outline! You got no fingers.
6. “MSurvivalist” February 2011. My Odd Sock nearly dies of exposure in this chilling account about a trip to the mailbox.
7. “My Ride At The Amusement Park” June 2011. It’s all fun & games till you can’t walk after a ride on a roller coaster! Buckle in for safety as you are in for a ride.
8. “Why Me?” March 2011. Have you ever pondered why you ended up with multiple sclerosis? My Odd Sock tries to make sense of it all in this serious (yeah, really) write-up.
9. “Naming Your MS Blog” August 2011. Starting your own blog is as simple as choosing an available domain name. Here are a few suggestions from this summer post.
My Odd Sock mail call!
10. “Opportunity Of A Lifetime” April 2011. Doors are opening for MOS with the ultimate dream job. Join me as opportunity knocks…for a limited time!
That’s the wraps for the “Not So Top Ten for 2011.”
It has been a tremendous year here at My Odd Sock (Not really).
Thank you for reading this epitome of bad grammar and copyright infringement.
Therefore, if you haven’t lapsed into a coma by now—we’ll see you in 2012.
Happy New Year!
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Due to shear laziness, here is a old My Odd Sock to bide your time.
Enjoy!
In previous posts, I’ve made it clear that having multiple sclerosis makes even the simplest tasks most challenging.
That’s one reason why I’m given the ‘two minute warning” before my family is about to leave. The early warning gives me an extra couple of minutes to get my mojo in motion. Why?…because species evolve faster than I move!
So today I would like to tell you about another of those simple challenges, and that is….clipping my toenails.
For you, a trim of the toenails is a quick couple of snips and you’re done. But for me, and those with MS, “cuttin the claws” can be a huge undertaking! (Maybe that’s one reason I let them grow till they “clickety-clack” on the hardwood floor.)
The Tools
It’s been said ” a craftsman is only as good as his tools.” Whereas you may be able to use those cute little fingernail clippers—they’re just way too fiddly for my fumble-some fingers.
The muther of clippers.
That’s why I use the biggest, baddest mondo clippers on the market. The Ringling Brothers use these baby’s to trim the nails of the pachyderms!
And I love’em because these clippers “catch” the flying nail shrapnel. You see, my toenails are thick like a heavy slice of onion and as hard as an oyster shell. Why I’ve seen my flying toenail bits impale themselves into oak cabinetry—like podiatry Ninja throwing stars!
So if you are having trouble with this portion of personal hygiene, I suggest getting a pair of these gems. They are heaven!
The Process
I generally do my pedicure work in one central construction zone.
My area of choice is sitting on the edge of the bathtub, bending forward at the waist to clip my nails.
The ergonomic problem with this is balancing my middle age ass, Olga Corbett style, along the four-inch balance-beam rim that is, the side of my tub. Of course, my exaggerated leaning forward body posture produces a self-induced Heimlich maneuver as my thighs compress my gut. I’ll snip between “urps!”
When you add it up… MS’s lack of balance, weakened, fumble-fingers, fatigue, yada-yada-yada…you can see the simple things in life are a bit more challenging. Our job is to use our noggins to figure out the best way to persevere.
And we do…..two gnarly feet at a time.
They re-run those TV Christmas specials year after year, so why not do the same with a Christmas “My Odd Sock.”
Here goes…
“The Odd Stocking was hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.”
* * * * * * * *
Saw this Christmas display in my neighborhood……
- Where’s the tire pump?
Nothing captures the spirit of our Savior like an inflatable nativity scene!
And please, no comments about Mary being a blow-up doll.
The very best to you and your family from all of us (me) at My Odd Sock.
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The colossal console
My Odd Sock routinely avoids the pressing issues of the day…to instead, openly debate the ridiculous.
And today, is no exception!
I want to know YOUR five favorite TV sitcoms. The shows you never missed! The kind of TV sitcom that caused you to rearrange your social calendar. (I never had a social calendar, so I watched ALOT of TV!)
Here are My Odd Sock’s “Five Fav” TV sitcoms…
All In The Family- In my opinion, the greatest TV show ever.
“All In The Family” was so wrong–yet, so right on the social issues of the period. The show exploited ignorance and ruffled feathers. There has never been, no will there ever be a program as truthful (and funny) as “All In The Family.”
M*A*S*H- An awesome show! How can a TV show about a war that lasted two years–be on the tube for eleven years? I’ll tell you how…with great writing and a fantastic cast of characters.
Did you know the final episode was one of the highest rated shows in history? M*A*S*H is definitely one of my “Five Fav” TV sitcoms!
The Wonder Years- Maybe I love this show because I was about the same age of the lead character (Fred Savage) growing up in the early to mid 1970’s.
“The Wonder Years” mixed narration, visual images and music to make a point that really made you reflect (even with a big, empty head like mine!).
Everybody Loves Raymond- A great show that everyone could/can relate to. If you don’t know someone like “Frank” (the dad), you must live in a bubble!
“Raymond” is constantly on TV in reruns—and I watch them over & over! That is the sign of a good program—when you have seen it before, but you enjoy watching it again. And again.
Seinfeld- Ditto for “Seinfeld.” I have seen each episode countless times, but I can’t look away!
The characters are so different, so quirky…and the writing is superb! How “Seinfeld” weaves four different subplots into one, common final thread is mastery!
Here are some of my other favorite TV sitcoms that were close, but didn’t quite make the cut…
The Beverly Hillbillities
Sanford & Son
The Odd Couple
Cheers
Green Acres
Get Smart
Scrubs
WKRP In Cincinnati
Barney Miller
and anything with Bob Newhart.
How do your “Five Fav” TV sitcoms compare?
Please share yours in a comment as I am dying to know what channel you are watching!
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If you LOVE college football, you know what is about to kick-off (bad pun)….it’s “Bowl Season!”
But before you settle into that recliner to watch all the action, be aware there are thirty-five, yes, thirty-five bowl games in the next month.
How that number grew from the eight or ten games you are most familiar with…to thirty-five is any one’s guess!
Dig in, you football fan!
The college bowl season begins by opening that bag of Doritos next Saturday with the New Mexico Bowl. (Funny, I don’t think of New Mexico as a hotbed of football, but oh well.) Followed by the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and the New Orleans Bowl.
Vegetarians beware ’cause next is the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl, with the Poinsettia Bowl soon after. (How about the “Dandelion Bowl” in tribute to my lawn in the summer?)
Next, you’ll enjoy the MAACO Bowl. and on Christmas Eve, you can celebrate our Savior’s birth with the Hawaii Bowl.
There’s the Independence Bowl on 12/26 (Hey I’ve heard of that game!).
And the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl the next afternoon, followed by the Belk Bowl (What the hell is a Belk?).
Don’t miss the Military Bowl and the Holiday Bowl on the 28th…..with the Champs Sports Bowl and the Alamo Bowl on the 29th.
On Friday, 12/30, you’ll see the Armed Forces Bowl (Didn’t you just watch the “Military Bowl?”)….the Pinstripe Bowl (What? No “Tweed Bowl?”)…the Music City Bowl and the Insight Bowl.
I'm getting sick of Doritos!
Wait! Don’t put down that bag of Doreetee’s yet—we’re just getting started!
You still have to watch the Meinke Car Care Bowl, the Sun Bowl and the Liberty Bowl!
Later is the Fight Hunger Bowl, followed by the Chick Fil-A Bowl. (Should those two games be played on the same day? Just asking.)
Then, it’s the big day on January 2nd! You’ll watch the Ticket City Bowl, the Capital One Bowl, Outback Bowl, Gator Bowl, Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl!
In the next several days, catch the Sugar Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the BBVA Compass Bowl and the Go Daddy.Com Bowl.
Finally, you’ll tear open the last bag of Doritos on January 9th for the BCS National Championship!
(Burp)..I don't feel so good.
As you brush the crumbs from your belly, you’ll look back at the previous month and see your fingertips are stained a nacho-cheese orange, your butt barely fits in the recliner and realize you have consumed enough trans-fats to fill a small sedan.
That’s Bowl Season…college football overkill at its finest! Thirty-five games in less than a month.
You’ll swear never to eat another Dorito ever again. Well, at least, till next season!