While I am frantically addressing my Avaition Month cards, our home is decorated with tinkling aircraft landing lights and filled with the sweet aroma of jet fuel.  It is a special time indeed!

Being Aviation Month, I thought I would give a flip of the tube sock to Southwest Airlines, who made flying with a wheelchair extremely easy!

Southwest Airlines allowed me to “roll” all the way to the plane where I adeptly transformed from a skilled wheelchair driver into my uncoordinated, baby giraffe taking its first few steps, awkward scuffle-gait to my seat—any seat I wanted!

You see, Southwest Airlines, like most carriers, allow people who need assistance with screaming babies (or those with more walking aids than Ironman) to board the aircraft before others.

Funny thing, Southwest doesn’t have assigned seating, so flyers are put in “priority groups–A, B, C” and then are boarded in that order.  Well, chums in wheelchairs are given higher priority, so as we roll to our designated holding corral, I find myself in the middle of about 50 people in wheelchairs!  I had never seen so many in one place.  It was like the freakin Wheelchair Olympics!  I checked the calendar to see if it was Labor Day and time for the MDA telethon.  There were more wheels than a Goodyear Tire store!

Suddenly, a Southwest Airlines rep waded through the sea of chairs and approached ME for some polite chit-chat.  He thanked ME for flying with Southwest.

I asked my wife what that was all about—why did he only speak to me?

She replied, “Look around.  All these wheelchairs belong to the airport.  You are the only one with your own chair.”

Ahh, I see.

Being smarter than the average disabled bear, I surmised these people used “wheelchair assistance” so they could get higher priority and board the plane first.  First to board–first to get the complimentary bag o’ snacks.

My assumption was correct when we landed.  These people bolted from the plane like they were descendants of Jesse Owens.  If you looked close you could see little puffs of smoke behind each of their footfalls.  They put the NFL’s 40-yard dash times to shame!

It was so sad—yet, it was hysterical!

A sad reflection on how society circumvents policy to improve one’s own situation (pretty good for something written by an idiot, right?).

Oh well, what are you gonna do?  You can only laugh.

So, happy Aviation Month to all and thank you for flying with Southwest Airlines (figured maybe I could get a free ticket…. or a bag of snacks).