Gracing the news recently was the story of American Airlines charging eight dollars for use of a blanket during flights.

The story itself wasn’t shocking, I think all of us are aware of the incidental fees being charged by air carriers.

Take for instance, checked baggage.  Most airlines allow you one checked bag per person.  Although some, like Delta and Continental , will ask you to

shell out an additional 25 smackers.  Almost all airlines charge 25 to 30 dollars for a 2nd checked bag (Excuse me ticket-agent, that’s nota bag–that’s my mother-in-law!) as well as oversized/overweight bags, traveling with a pet or an unaccompanied minor.

Want a preferred seat?  That extra legroom could cost you an additional 5 to 30 dollars.  United Airlines charges anywhere from 14 dollars up to 109 dollars for a “preferred” seat.  I want to know what an extra 109 dollars will get me?  I better be sitting in the cockpit or on the lap of a buxom flight attendant for that much dough!

Office of Consumer Research

Well, in honor of American Airlines $8 blanket fee (that includes an inflatable neck pillow by the way), the My Odd Sock Consumer Research Department (me) has uncovered numerous other flying amenities that could cost you next time you fly…….

Carry- On bag                            $5

Seat belt                                      $3

Flotation device                      $1

Use of Tray table                     $1

Eating nutritious airline meal with a “spork”                            We Pay You

Beverage/Snack                       $1-$8

Identifying everything in snackbag                   $2

Farting afterward                                                        $1

Sitting within earshot of screaming baby         $3

Mumbling intercom message from Captain      $4

Robotic, mind-numbing goodbye from crew as you depart the plane      $3

In-flight magazine with pages sticking together     $1

Being able to fit anything in the overhead compartment               $3

Flight attendant with bleached-out, plastic hair                      Free

Landing in the Hudson River                             $15

Window seat enabling you to see duct-tape used on plane’s engine         $5

Window seat on the side where you can actually see what landmark the Captain points out                $10

Seated next to a celebrity                    $25

YOUR celebrity seating…..the middle seat between two contestants from NBC’s “The Biggest Loser”                      $6

So there you have it.  Beware of some of these “extras” being added to the cost of your flight.  It’s only a matter of time before airlines begin charging for restrooms, even the recycled air that spews germs from the vent above your head.

One can tell this crusty guy is excited to travel again soon!

Thank you for flying with My Odd Sock.

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During the month of February, My Odd Sock salutes Black History Month.                              

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