My Odd Sock

They re-run those TV Christmas specials year after year, so why not do the same with a Christmas “My Odd Sock.”

Here goes…

“The Odd Stocking was hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.”

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Saw this Christmas display in my neighborhood……

Where’s the tire pump?

 

 

Nothing captures the spirit of our Savior like an inflatable nativity scene!

And please, no comments about Mary being a blow-up doll.

 

The very best to you and your family from all of us (me) at My Odd Sock.

Up & down.  Up & down.  One must be describing the New York Stock Exchange, right?  (No, that would be mostly down.)  How about a public opinion poll?  Or maybe gas prices?  (No, that would be mostly up!)

Specifically, what I am trying to explain is my activity level.

You see, I can’t sit still.  Ants in the pants.  Hyper.  (Yeah, I WISH that was the reason!)

I get up and move a lot.  Because if I don’t—spasticity hits me like a semi-truck.

And you may be just the same!

Fifteen to twenty minutes–maybe a half-hour, is all it takes before “stiffness” locks us on target with the accuracy of a fighter plane’s gunsight.

MS putting the squeeze on

Sit far too long and when you rise…be slapped back to reality with a full-body spasm that forces you to stand there like a mannequin at Macy’s!

Spasticity’s timer makes it difficult to attend things like school assembly’s, sporting events, movies, church services and AA meetings.

Yes, I have worn those pants…and it is not fun!

So I am up & down as often as a Duncan yo-yo.

Family members tell me to sit down and relax.  But you know how that goes—we have MS, so we are always twitching, moving & fidgeting as though we sat on our car keys!

My Odd Sock Labs' detailed study

In fact, at My Odd Sock Labs, researchers have conducted a study of my “up & down” activity as represented by the graph to the right.

I go like this (a hamster on a wheel) until I can’t go anymore…

M.O.S. is D.O.A.

…and I crash.  Falling into a chair.  Or onto the couch.  Or just plain falling.

“A body at rest, stays at rest.”

I think about that phrase quite often.  And so I move.  And I encourage you to do the same.

Move what you can—when you can—for as far as you can.  It’s as simple as that.

Do you have the “up & down” feeling?  How do you handle the urge to move when MS makes it difficult to do so?

Well, I’ll end this discussion as I have been sitting here for 90 minutes now, and I am NOT looking forward to the impending spasm which will greet me like the family dog as I fumble to my feet.

But, I suppose it is better than the opposite!

The colossal console

My Odd Sock routinely avoids the pressing issues of the day…to instead, openly debate the ridiculous.

And today, is no exception!

I want to know YOUR five favorite TV sitcoms.  The shows you never missed!  The kind of TV sitcom that caused you to rearrange your social calendar.  (I never had a social calendar, so I watched ALOT of TV!)

Here are My Odd Sock’s “Five Fav” TV sitcoms…

All In The Family-   In my opinion, the greatest TV show ever.

“All In The Family” was so wrong–yet, so right on the social issues of the period.  The show exploited ignorance and ruffled feathers.  There has never been, no will there ever be a program as truthful (and funny) as “All In The Family.”

M*A*S*H-   An awesome show!  How can a TV show about a war that lasted two years–be on the tube for eleven years?  I’ll tell you how…with great writing and a fantastic cast of characters.

Did you know the final episode was one of the highest rated shows in history?  M*A*S*H is definitely one of my “Five Fav” TV sitcoms!

 The Wonder Years-   Maybe I love this show because I was about the same age of the lead character (Fred Savage) growing up in the early to mid 1970’s.

“The Wonder Years” mixed narration, visual images and music to make a point that really made you reflect (even with a big, empty head like mine!).

Everybody Loves Raymond-   A great show that everyone could/can relate to.  If you don’t know someone like “Frank” (the dad), you must live in a bubble!

“Raymond” is constantly on TV in reruns—and I watch them over & over!  That is the sign of a good program—when you have seen it before, but you enjoy watching it again.  And again.

Seinfeld-   Ditto for “Seinfeld.”  I have seen each episode countless times, but I can’t look away!

The characters are so different, so quirky…and the writing is superb!  How “Seinfeld” weaves four different subplots into one, common final thread is mastery!

Here are some of my other favorite TV sitcoms that were close, but didn’t quite make the cut…

The Beverly Hillbillities

Sanford & Son

The Odd Couple

Cheers

Green Acres

Get Smart

Scrubs

WKRP In Cincinnati

Barney Miller

and anything with Bob Newhart.

How do your “Five Fav” TV sitcoms compare?

Please share yours in a comment as I am dying to know what channel you are watching!

Dear Santa,

Hope you are well.

I have been a good MSer this year.

Listed below are some things I would like for Christmas……

Soap-On-A-Rope-   It is amazing how many times the bar of soap slips from my hands during a shower.

I end up kicking the soap with the foot skills of a soccer player to get it into the proper position for me to bend over & pick it up.

My feet get cleaner than the rest of me!

Cane Tip-   Yes, the rubber end of my cane.  I walk so slow, yet the tip of my cane wears out so fast.  What gives?  I need something like a radial tip!  I even rotate it—twisting it around so it wears evenly.  How pathetic!

The Cure-   Not an MS cure.  “The Cure”, the band.

Seriously, I don’t anticipate a cure in my lifetime, I just hope for the sake of our kids they don’t have to go through what we do!

Velcro Shirt-   Santa, how ’bout a dress shirt with velcro fasteners, instead of buttons!

Cripes, the other day, it took me over 15 minutes to button a dress shirt.  When I was done–my hands & fumble-fingers were friggin exhausted!

“I’m Not Deaf–I Have MS” t-shirt-   Why do people talker louder & slower to me?  I am in a wheelchair–NOT on the short bus!

Fashionable Bowling Shoes-   Not to bowl in—to walk in!  Some good sliders.  I shuffle when I walk, so bowling shoes would work great! 

Most shoes grip the floor like cleats on a football field.

I end up doing so many face plants, the shine on my head is from floor wax!

Winter-Chill rolling

All-Weather Rollator-   I would love a rollator that comes with a heated seat and anti-lock brakes for winter walking….

…yet, has a beverage cooler for those hot, summer days!

Bed Ejector-   Lately, getting out of bed has been difficult.  With full-body spasms & muscle tightness, I claw & scramble like a bug on its back.  A bed ejector would launch me to my wobbly feet!

G-Force Toilet Seat-   Exerting downward g-forces would make going potty so much easier!  (And make me feel like Tom Cruise in “Top Gun.”)  I gotta go, but I can’t…”Maverick, let’s do a barrel roll to get the flow started!”

The Waist-band GPS

Waist-band GPS-   Because you don’t know when—you might as well know where!

Pants with a built-in GPS would tell you where the nearest bathroom is located!

Guaranteed, you’ll never leave home without it!

So Santa, that is what I want for Christmas this year.

Please tell Rudolph and Mrs. Claus I said hi.  Thank you.

Your friend,

My Odd Sock

P.S.  I will leave cookies & milk for you!

If you LOVE college football, you know what is about to kick-off (bad pun)….it’s “Bowl Season!”

But before you settle into that recliner to watch all the action, be aware there are thirty-five, yes, thirty-five bowl games in the next month.

How that number grew from the eight or ten games you are most familiar with…to thirty-five is any one’s guess!

Dig in, you football fan!

The college bowl season begins by opening that bag of Doritos next Saturday with the New Mexico Bowl.  (Funny, I don’t think of New Mexico as a hotbed of football, but oh well.)  Followed by the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and the New Orleans Bowl.

Vegetarians beware ’cause next is the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl,  with the Poinsettia Bowl soon after.  (How about the “Dandelion Bowl” in tribute to my lawn in the summer?)

Next, you’ll enjoy the MAACO Bowl.  and on Christmas Eve, you can celebrate our Savior’s birth with the Hawaii Bowl.

There’s the Independence Bowl on 12/26 (Hey I’ve heard of that game!).

And the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl the next afternoon, followed by the Belk Bowl (What the hell is a Belk?).

Don’t miss the Military Bowl and the Holiday Bowl on the 28th…..with the Champs Sports Bowl and the Alamo Bowl on the 29th.

On Friday, 12/30, you’ll see the Armed Forces Bowl (Didn’t you just watch the “Military Bowl?”)….the Pinstripe Bowl (What? No “Tweed Bowl?”)…the Music City Bowl and the Insight Bowl.

I'm getting sick of Doritos!

Wait!  Don’t put down that bag of Doreetee’s yet—we’re just getting started!

You still have to watch the Meinke Car Care Bowl, the Sun Bowl and the Liberty Bowl!

Later is the Fight Hunger Bowl, followed by the Chick Fil-A Bowl.  (Should those two games be played on the same day?  Just asking.)

Then, it’s the big day on January 2nd!  You’ll watch the Ticket City Bowl, the Capital One Bowl, Outback Bowl, Gator Bowl, Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl!

In the next several days, catch the Sugar Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the BBVA Compass Bowl and the Go Daddy.Com Bowl.

Finally, you’ll tear open the last bag of Doritos on January 9th for the BCS National Championship!

(Burp)..I don't feel so good.

As you brush the crumbs from your belly, you’ll look back at the previous month and see your fingertips are stained a nacho-cheese orange, your butt barely fits in the recliner and realize you have consumed enough trans-fats to fill a small sedan.

That’s Bowl Season…college football overkill at its finest!  Thirty-five games in less than a month. 

You’ll swear never to eat another Dorito ever again.  Well, at least, till next season!

When faced with something bigger than oneself, fear is a common response.

Then over time, fear is slow-cooked, crock-pot style into a steaming stew of anger.

That’s where I find myself on occasion these days.

Way back in 1996, I walked across the DX podium and received my MS decree.

Needless to say, I was scared sh#@less!  My stomach dropped so low, it had rug burns from dragging it out the doctor’s office!

I feared.

I feared what was to come.

That's me!

I feared what I am today….third figure from the right on the evolutionary scale!  (A shlumping, lurching Neanderthal with zero balance, draggy feet, leaky whizzer, wheelchair-using dude who can’t stand upright without more metal supports than the Mackinaw Bridge.  Phew!)

But it’s OK.  Really.

Because today, 15 years later, I’m just miffed.  P-O’d.  (And that doesn’t stand for “post office!)

I’m angry.  Angry NOT that I have MS….but because I can’t do things like before.

Can’t wash a car.  Stand in line.  Or carry something.

Doing things take much longer too.  Between full body spasms that stiffen me like Mister Salty, it takes me a good five minutes to shimmy into trousers in the morning.

And walk across the yard?  Forget about it!  Here is MY view of the lawn.  (Yes, I’ve done so many face-plants in the grass, I floss with a Garden Weasel!)

But the one thing that keeps this Odd Sock going is that—-I am not alone.

You…or someone you know & love is right there with me.

We’re in this together.

And that is why I pen these words.  Not to bemoan that fact that I have the dreaded ick…but to remind you we can still fight—even if our knickers are in a twist.

So go ahead and be angry , you MSer.  You’re allowed.  It’s when we lose that fire in our belly that we have to worry!

Grrrrr.