As The Myelin Fades Episode #3

As The Myelin Fades Episode #3

 

Sappy music and sounds of people losing their lunch can mean only one thing.

Another sad commercial from Sarah McLachlan & the ASPCA?

No, but close.

It means time for episode #3 on the only (thank God) soap opera created for those with multiple sclerosis (thank God again).

Tissues please!

 

 

This is…..”As The Myelin Fades.”

 

 

 

 

The morning sun shone brightly on the foremost MS treatment center in all of the Dubuque metro area.

The dashingly handsome Dr. Scott Benton, Chief of Neurology & frequent winner of the office pool, was making his rounds.

He stopped just outside of exam room #1, hearing sobs coming from beyond the door.

Concerned, he knocked.

“Come in Dr. Benton” said the emotional voice from within.

“How did you know it was me?” he replied, entering the room.

“Your cheap cologne.  I smelled you coming,” said patient Emily Bainsworth before returning to her deep sobbing.

Emily had just been told she had multiple sclerosis.

“There there, Ms. Bainsworth.  Today, there are many, many viable treatment options for MS.”

A cure is near.

 

He continued.  “Why right now the brightest, scientific minds are hard at work to find a cure for this scourge of a chronic disease!”

“I know that, Dr. Benton” she said.  “I’m not crying because of my diagnosis–I–I’m crying..because I lost my ticket for the parking deck.  So now I must pay…”

FULL PRICE!” they cried in unison, hugging and wailing in soul-crushing displeasure.

 

 

The main suite, the hot tubs, the shag carpeting.

 

During their emotional embrace, Dr. Benton wondered how a cure for multiple sclerosis would affect his lucrative practice.

How would he pay for his luxury high-rise condo in Marina Del Ray?

Maybe he could play a TV doctor elsewhere?  Why, if Dr. Phil could do it, surely there would be a new gig for Dr. Scott Benton!

 

 

With new found confidence, he was strolling down the hallway, still deep in thought, when he bumped into…her.

“Ouch!” she said.  “You ran into me with your stroller!”

“Oh my.  Sorry baby!” he cooed.

“What did you call me, you sexist pig?

“My baby–I was talking to my baby.  In the stroller!” he said with concern.

Jennifer Lopez as “Jill Lenya.”

 

Her.

She was nurse Jill Lenya.

Jill Lenya was new at the clinic.  And she was a once-daily pill.

Smart as she was beautiful.  Legs from her feet to her hips.

 

Dr. Benton was starry-eyed.  Instant attraction.

Some call it love.  Some call it lust.

 

Let’s make some noise of our own!

 

Whatever you call it, he dreamed of them sharing an MRI together (medically professional, of course).

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP.

His pager interrupted his fantasy.

There was an emergency at the front desk.

Dr. Benton rushed to the lobby.  Nurse Lenya followed.

 

“What’s the problem here,” he said to the receptionist.  “Stroke?  Heart Attack?”

“Worse Doctor.  The copier has a paper jam!”

“Again” he yelled.  “Dear God, the humanity.”

CUE-  THE SWELL OF DRAMATIC MUSIC.

Which wrenchingly brings us to an end of this fifty shades of grossness episode of “As The Myelin Fades.”

Tune in next time.

 

 

 

 

4 Replies to “As The Myelin Fades Episode #3”

  1. As always Doug ,you crack me up. I too cry over many things such as spilling coffee grounds all over the counter, floor etc and being so tired after at least a three day clean up! Excasperating 🤪

    1. Tina,
      Thank you but what are you doing reading this garbage on your anniversary? Hope you had a happy day–even with your husband!

Making it official.