Antistipation

Antistipation

 

Word play?

You hear it everywhere…

“These are difficult days.”

“We are in challenging times.”

Hey, you are preaching to the choir, sister!

And if you have multiple sclerosis like me, you probably know it as well.

 

 

You see, every so often I suffer from a severe case of “antistipation.”

Never heard of it?

Of course you haven’t.  I made it up–but it’s the real deal, man.

Here is my definition of “antistipation”…

Webster defines it as…

 

 

 

 

Simply put, it is the anticipation you gotta go combined with the constipation of NOT being able to go.

“Antistipation” happens to me once every few weeks.  

Several days pass when I don’t pass (get my drift?).  My belly starts to distend like a puppy.  Rock-hard pressure builds inside.

And.  I.  Just.  Can’t.  Go.

Cramping begins.  My weak legs get even weaker.  All the while I am cursing MS as it must be the source of my problem.  I get my fiber.  I drink my water.  I’m doing my exercise.  It’s MS I tell ya.

For a good part of the day when it is bad, I am in the bathroom sitting, standing, pushing.  I’m up & down more than a fitness instructor.  Grunting.  Groaning.

I blame MS all the way for the numbness I have down there.

Not to be gross but let me explain it this way–the package is there…it just can’t be delivered.

If you can relate here is a helpful hint:  Again, not to be gross…but often a temperature change down there helps to “wake-up” the process.  I use a baby wipe (or wet toilet paper) to dab around the exit.  You may jump but sometimes it is enough to stir things up a bit!

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah…if things get real bad I go to the medicine cabinet.

Miralax is my current go-to (sorry for the pun).  Ducolax is my number two (again, sorry).

Possible name change?

 

I’ve taken Ducolax from a Pez dispenser.

I’ve taken so many Ducolax, I swear its name is Dougolax!

 

By the way, why are Ducolax tablets (and Ex-Lax) brown in color?

I don’t want to EAT brown…I want to MAKE brown!

“Antistipation.”  That’s my problem.  And I point the finger at MS.

You too?  Do you face similar situations?  Tell me I am not alone with a comment.  I’ll appreciate your company.

Happy going.

6 Replies to “Antistipation”

  1. I haven’t had that problem YET! I’ve been wearing adult diapers for years since my bladder is so unreliable. I feel for you dude!

    1. Tina,
      Thanks Tina. No big deal really–just a pain in the ***!
      Appreciate your comment!

  2. Drink water. Like, lots of water. Not any special kind of water, just water from the tap. Of course, drinking water will lead you to pop to the loo more often for #1 activity, but it will well work for #2 activity, too. I’d not made the connection between drinking and making, but let’s just say that there _is_ a connection there to be made!

    1. Gale,
      I will try it definitely. Appreciate your advice! And I always drink tap water–don’t need that fancy stuff. I can’t tell the difference anyway. It’s all two parts hydrogen/one part oxygen, right? Thanks again for your insight!

  3. I love that you and your loyal readers have no problem sharing our most intimate details. It lets us know that we are not alone.
    I know it is not a competition, but my “Antistipation” is worse than yours. I am the only person I know that can prepare for a colonoscopy for 2 days, and still do not activate the launch sequence. My Gastrologist told me it is because I have to sit in a wheelchair all day.
    My home health nurse told me to take Miralax everyday. Instead, I take it for 10 days straight the beginning of every month, and it takes 3 to 5 days after that to produce a result. My normal, is not normal, whatever.
    I think you need to use one of your 20% off coupons and go to Bed Bath & Beyond and get one of those “Squatty Potties”.
    This post was brought to you by the makers of “Margalax”. You are not the only one that has a product named after you. 🙂

    1. Margaret,
      Very funny comment! Sorry you share in my troubles! I’m taking Gale’s advice & trying to drink more water. Hope that does the trick! Thank you for checking in.

Making it official.