Brain Drain #26

Brain Drain #26

 

Here we go again.

 

Welcome to “Brain Drain,” the long-running post consisting of subject matter of no real importance.  Just somewhere to vent my general irritability.

Let’s dig in, shall we?…

 

 

Fancy Patios

 

Nice stuff.

 

Spring is approaching fast.  And with the new season are advertisements for fancy patio furniture.

These displays are beholding, I’ll give’em that.

Invitingly comfortable.  Warm and hospitable.

A place to share time with family & friends.

Also very nice.

 

But I just wanna know–who has a patio like this?

This stuff is better than the furniture in my living room.

My main concern is the weather.  I live in Ohio.  We routinely have driving rains, ferocious wind, tornados, blazing sun & stifling humidity…ALL in an afternoon.

 

This stuff would look great for about five minutes out of the box.  Not to mention the bird shit, leaves, whirlygigs, pollen and dandelion spores flying about.  Only in Ohio can you step outside for some fresh air and end up looking like a lawn tech for TruGreen.

And where do you store all this stuff for the winter?  Eh, don’t get me started.

Moving on…

 

Ad Placement

 

I am always looking in the ads for silly stuff to share.  The latest mailer from Sam’s Club caught my eye with some strange product placement.

Yummy.

 

Here is one of opposites.

Easter candy up top

With SkinnyPop popcorn right below.

Too much of one leads to the other, I’m thinking.

Fed up with dieting?…We’ve got your sneak treat!

 

Here is another…

Yikes!

 

 

Bath tissue and flushable wet-wipes…right above Jimmy Dean sausage!

Certainly doesn’t make Jimmy Dean look good.

“Start your day the right way” no doubt.

Good to know Sam’s Club has you covered.

 

One last Brain Drain to touch upon…

 

Biscotti and Pizzelles

 

Let me be clear, I’ve got nothing against Italians.  I love your pizza & pasta.  But your desserts leave me hanging.

This is a treat?

Biscotti isn’t a treat–it is very stale cake.

Believe me, I don’t want to eat anything that when thrown could break glass.  People say biscotti is delicious when you dunk it.  Yeah, so could be a door stop but I won’t dunk it either.

If you must dunk something to soften it–it must be stale.  I am a human NOT a raccoon.

Ninja throwing star?

 

Pizzelles are another Italian treat I do not understand.

I have never tried one because they just don’t look appetizing.  Pizzelles don’t look like cookies.  They look more like jar openers.  Like if I stepped on a pancake wearing Nike waffle-soles.

Where I live is a heavy Italian population so there are biscotti & pizzelles everywhere.  Many folks get my distain.  I tell them I am not originally from the area–my last name doesn’t end with a vowel!

 

There you go.  Just getting stuff off my chest.  This is what “Brain Drain” is all about.

Speak up with a comment on your thoughts.  I welcome your side.

Arrivederci!

4 Replies to “Brain Drain #26”

  1. Thank you for posting this- especially the part about patio furniture. I have often bought lovely, smaller pieces with the fantasy of sitting outside whilst I drink my tea. And soon learned that less I be covered with gunk, I would have to clean them before sitting. Of course I remember this just as I’m about to sit and by the time I clean them, my tea is cold. Thus I have chosen not to buy into this nice looking fantasy. And when someone new comes over I always get, why don’t you have patio furniture so you can sit outside and drink your tea???

    1. Yvonne,
      EXACTLY! Seems like too much work to me. Whatever happened to the old lawn chairs that made the back of your thighs look scarred? You didn’t care if those chairs got rained on or pooped on.
      Maybe some day we’ll have a nice patio!

  2. Even though many would find it convenient, I thought it was weird at first when Walmart became “Super”. You can drop your car off to get tires at the Auto Center, go in the store , find that they are out of handicap carts, get your haircut, have a mani-pedi, get your eye glasses adjusted, make a bank deposit, eat a Big Mac, pick up your prescription, replace the goldfish that died, and here’s where it got weird for me….. you can purchase underwear and ground meat in one trip. Then you go back, pick up your car from the Auto Center, fill your tank with gas, then finally get home and realize you forgot to get what you went there for.

    1. Margaret,
      SSSSSShhhhhhh, that’s what they WANT you to do. Walmart bedazzles you with stuff you don’t need in convenient, one-stop shopping.
      Thank you for your VERY funny comment! Great job!

Making it official.