Well-Worn

Well-Worn

 

Giving forward.

I added this shirt to our charity pile today.

But for an embarrassing reason.

Oh it is in good shape.  No rips.  No holes.

It fits well.  Not too big.  Not too small.

And it looks good whether dressed up or casual.

I like it.

So why give the shirt to charity if everything about it is positive you ask?

 

Well, it’s the neck hole.  It is too small for my ginormous skull.

 

Tale of the tape.

 

Measuring just a mere seven inches wide, the neck hole is a perfect fit if you are a pinhead.

But for me to squeeze my head through, I must stretch the fabric to its absolute limits.

Threads strain to the point of ripping.

Seams stressed to near failure.

 

What the hell?

 

While I tug & pull & squirm to get the shirt over my head, I look like a fashion ghost.

A snake trying to swallow a hair egg.

As the struggle seems to continue forever, I think of my poor dear mother who birthed a seven-pound head through her loins.

It is no wonder she walks with a limp some fifty-five years later.

To those who believe this account is a fabric of exaggeration, I present photographic proof from My Odd Sock archives…..

Not suitable for small children.

 

No filters.  No photoshop.  No special effects.

Just stark evidence of my head being bigger than a ripened watermelon.

 

 

 

To my well-worn shirt I bid a respectful farewell.

You served with honor and gave it your all at every wearing.

My hope is that you bring the same fashionable grace to the next owner.

God willing he has a smaller gourd.

 

6 Replies to “Well-Worn”

  1. Reminds me of the phrase “one-size-fits-all”. I guess I don’t fall under the category “all”. 🙂

  2. I totally agree! I don’t know if it’s the MS or what, but I feel totally worn out. Physically, emotionally, financially, etc, etc. Great read as always Doug 🤗

    1. Kim,
      You’re darn right, my poor mom. Hasn’t been able to cross her legs since! I pity the person who gets this shirt. Looks good, but geez the struggle!

Making it official.