Welcome to “Brain Drain,” where I pull the plug to drain the cranium of absurdity.
It has been some time since the last dump, so I must be mellowing in my AARP years!
Here are a few items of note that have floated to the top in recent days.
Like a turd in the toilet.
Extra Strength 5-Hour Energy
Have you seen the tv commercials for “Extra-Strength 5-Hour Energy?”
(The driving music is enough to put you over the edge.)
The five hours of energy I get.
But what do they mean by “extra-strength?”
Does it kick in faster? Like the 1st hour has 2 or 3 hours of energy?
Or does it last longer…say, six or seven hours?
What if I take a 5-Hour Energy when we turn the clocks back…does that give me an extra hour?
We need clarity damnit.
“Extra-Strength 5-Hour Energy, I just don’t understand.
There’s a new tv show coming to ABC called “Imaginary Mary.”
It’s about a woman, played by Jenna Elfman, who relies on her imaginary friend from childhood to help her through life as a PR exec as well as getting to know her boyfriend’s three kids.
Are you feeling sharp stabs of a steel blade to your intelligence? Me too.
Oh my God, just the premise of this show is enough to explain the Fentanyl epidemic in Hollywood.
Some producer really sold a bill of goods to ABC on this one. Wow.
Either that or is being blackmailed by having a pee-pee prostitue vid—wait, that’s someone else.
“Imaginary Mary.” I haven’t seen it & nor will I ever. If it interests you, I suggest you catch it quick as it won’t last more than 5 or 6 episodes, tops.
The world is about to stop with a new, game-changing medical procedure.
Cancer? Alzheimer’s? MS?
No, it’s Kybella, the first & only injectible treatment for a double chin.
(First & only–like we need more than one!)
Finally, I can stop wearing that turtle-neck tank top in the summer as Kybella can shrink my double chin.
How vain have we become?
Kybella is an acid that is injected into your chin to reduce fat.
And you thought getting a shot in the arm, leg or belly was bad enough. How ’bout your chinny-chin-chin?
Granted, the before & after photos of Kybella patients are quite remarkable. But man, I’m just not that ashamed of my profile.
Allright it’s a miracle drug, but even Kybella has its limitations.
Kybella wasn’t tested on pelicans for crying out loud!
Oh well, maybe the next cure will be for cancer, alzheimer’s or MS. I’ll keep my double chin crossed.
That does it for this “Brain Drain.” My head has returned to its normal watermelon size.
Feel free to comment with your own thoughts as we fend forward through another day of life & all its ridiculous glory.