Bad Hair Day

Bad Hair Day

 

 

You paid for that?
You paid for that?

 

 

I’m having a bad hair day.

Who am I kidding—a bad hair “DAY” is an understatement.

More like a bad hair quarter-century!

 

My entire 30’s were a bad hair decade.  I lost hair faster than an IRA lost value during the Bush Administration.

 

In my 40’s hair seemed to fall off my head, land & take seed on other parts of my body.

That’s when I realized why they call the shampoo, “Head & Shoulders.”

 

Holy crap, a flesh-billboard!
Holy crap, a flesh-billboard!

 

Funny to you maybe, but I’m left with the hairline you see to the right.

It looks like a hair snake trying to swallow an egg.

 

Any who, I need a hair cut.  Bad.

 

Not sure where to go, therefore, this post is a survey of my local options…

 

 

Special touch?  I need heavy-handed!
Special touch? I need heavy-handed!

 

 

I could go to the Special Touch Salon, but I need more than a special touch.

More like a hair I.C.U.  With a Rogaine I.V. stuck into my carotid artery.

I need a special touch when it comes to tweezing the hair in my friggin ears.

What’s up with that?

 

 

Unlimited--I need bondaries!
Unlimited–I need bondaries!

 

Hair Designers Unlimited is just around the corner.

Probem is, I don’t need the hair designer–I need the hair.

 

Vera Wang couldn’t design a style for my noggin.

Speaking of, why does Vera Wang always look so plain jane?  Biggest designer in the market and she always looks like someone from the tv show “Hoarders.”

 

 

Game on!
Game on!

 

 

I could go to one of the clip joints.

SportClips is all about the game.  All about sports.

Wonder if I could ask them to put on CNN while I’m in the chair?

If you don’t like your haircut, just throw the penalty flag…”Illegal use of shears…Wipe the blood and replay the down.”

 

 

Where's Greatest Clips?
Where’s Greatest Clips?

 

Great Clips is in my neighborhood.

They sometimes offer a $5.99 special—yeah, that’s how much they value their product!

Pretty bold of them to put the word “Great” right in their name.

Confidence.

Customers wouldn’t sense that with a name like “So-So Clips”…”Rusty Razor”…or “You Didn’t Need That Mole Anyway.”

 

 

Where everyone knows your name.
Where everyone knows your name.

I could go where they are known for hair…Famous Hair.

Famous like Moe of “The Three Stooges.”

Yes, please fasten that wet tarp around my neck—the one still damp & covered with hair from three customers ago.

Last time I went there my stylist had scissors tattooed on the back of her hand.  I figured it was to remind her which one to use!

 

 

But if you are serious about hair—you’ll go to the place where hair is their business…

 

Now it's serious
Now it’s serious

 

 

…A place like Hair Inc.

Where they are incorporated with hair.

 

Honestly, one look at my coiffure and you know it declared backruptcy long ago.

 

 

Knock knock.
Knock knock.

 

 

Or I can visit The Hair Company and meet with the C.F.O. (Chief Follicle Officer).

 

At The Hair Company, their business plan is “Keep the lights low and don’t let’em look in the mirror.”

 

 

Unless you have a better suggestion, maybe I’ll just let it grow.  A mullet never goes out of style.

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

2 Replies to “Bad Hair Day”

  1. Gotta confess…….. I have been going to “Great Clips” in my neighborhood for several years. I originally had the same hairstylist for over 20 years and was paying $75.00 for color, haircut, and blow dry. I know it seems like a lot of money, but back then I would not let anybody else touch my hair. When I became confined to a wheelchair I could no longer get in his shop. So now I’m on a mission to find another hairstylist. After numerous bad hair days, I was recommended a stylist named “Marcus “at “Great Clips”. I was also told the shop was handicap accessible. So I went to the shop, and Marcus was able to move a chair out of the way so I could park my wheelchair in that spot, and I was able to get my hair cut in my wheelchair. The experience is not as good as where I previously had gone, (you get what you pay for) and I no longer color my hair, so a $14.99 haircut will do. I think you can get away with going to one of those “cheap” haircut places, if you find the right stylist. Or you can keep growing a mullet…….we won’t judge. 

  2. Margaret,
    Me too, I’ve been doing Great Clips for a couple years now—but don’t tell anyone.
    Thanks for your comment!

Making it official.