Gifts NOT On My Christmas List

Gifts NOT On My Christmas List

 

This time of year retailers are quick to highlight items they believe we MUST include on our holiday shopping list for loved ones.

But in many cases I think they miss the mark.

With that in mind, My Odd Sock presents…..

 

Oh you shouldn't have.
Oh you shouldn’t have.

 

 

 

…Gifts NOT On My Christmas

List.

 

 

 

 

 

Very moooving!
Very moooving!

 

First up is this beautiful faux fir cow comforter.

 

Yeah, those clever cattle from the Chick Fil-A commercials may adore this—but me, not so much.

 

If they wanted to make this authentic, they should have added a little pink udder hanging from the bottom!

 

 

Wanna see my big, blue ox?
Wanna see my big, blue ox?

 

Keeping it in the bedroom, next we have these mood-killer flannel sleep pants.

 

Nothing says “sexy” like when you dress as a lumberjack.

I’m shopping for my brother, the accountant, not the Bounty Paper-Towel guy!

What’s next…..

 

 

Dumb gizmo.
Dumb gizmo.

Guys love the high-tech stuff, but this…I don’t even understand.

 

It’s car battery jumper cables that double as a phone charger.

WTF?

Calls itself “an especially valuable tool when driving in cold winter months.”  I say you’re an “especially valuable tool” if you are gullible enough to drop a Ben Franklin on this junk!

 

 

Oh my.
Oh my.

 

Here is another tech gem…..a light bulb that plays music.

 

Genius.

 

Why stop there?  How ’bout a potato peeler that plays VHS tapes?

 

Sixty bucks.  A “bright idea?”  Not to me.

 

 

 

Which military?
Which military?

Oh, this is neat.  A shatterproof screen protector for an iPad.

 

Look at that–they’re taking a hammer to it.

Problem is, if this was really “military grade,” it wouldn’t cost just five bucks…but more like three hundred & five bucks!

Moving on…..

 

 

Bottom's up!
Bottom’s up!

 

 

Wow, ten-dollar drinking games.

The perfect gift for my mates at AA.

 

Instead of solving the world’s carbon emission problem, our top creatives are inventing new, fun ways to swill booze!

 

 

What am I supposed to record?
What am I supposed to record?

 

Here’s another of those “Why do I need this?”

A dash-cam.

 

Great.  I can finally record the minivan in front of me with the stick figure family on the window and a “My daughter is an honor student at Kennedy Elementary” bumper sticker!

 

 

Stop doing that, Roscoe!
Stop doing that, Roscoe!

 

 

Finally, the last item on the “Gifts NOT On My Christmas List” has to be this dog harness for a GoPro camera.

 

I’m sorry, I don’t need to spend $360 for the ability to watch a close-up of a dog licking itself!

 

 

Well, there you have it.

That should make your holiday shopping for me that much easier.

Don’t forget the gift receipt—if you buy any of this stuff, you may need it!

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making it official.