Stop Me Before I Watch Again

Stop Me Before I Watch Again

 

There were the textbook signals.  

Loss of muscle control.  Erratic thought pattern.  Slurred speech.

Stroke? I wondered to myself.

Thankfully no.

It was the realization I had just wasted several hours of precious life watching tv’s TLC.

 

The Learning Channel, really?
The Learning Channel, really?

 

 

Yes, TLC, The Learning Channel.

The circus side-show act that went from only being seen in a shrouded tent…to becoming the broadcast staple of basic cable as television’s most addictive channel.

 

Where else can you see extremists, polygamists & nudists.  Fat people, little people & crazy people.  Hoarders, cougars & Duggars.

TLC is the place to learn about cheapskates, addicts & a dude with a 125-pound scrotum.  Whoa!

 

Actual dead brain cells.  (Yes, I have that many.)
Actual dead brain cells. (Yes, I have that many.)

 

 

In a matter of minutes, a person watching TLC programming will feel brain cells crawling out the ears to plunge to death in a suicide dive to the floor below.

 

That numb feeling of paralysis is common with TLC viewers.

A slow heart rate followed by a lethargic urge to eat Little Debbie snack cakes. 

 

 

 

Professional stunt person.  Do not attempt.
Professional stunt person. Do not attempt.

 

But TLC’s programming beckons you to watch more.

Drawing you in to become a comatose zombie willing to do the unthinkable.

 

I feel guilty watching these people & hearing their stories—yet I can’t look away.

 

By design TLC, The Learning Channel has become TLC, The Leering Channel.

 

Please.  Can someone stop be before I watch again?

 

 

sock

 

 

 

 

Making it official.