The Bed Zone

The Bed Zone

 

 

NOT a Stephen King novel.
NOT a Stephen King novel.

I tend to sleep in the spare bedroom.  But I am not alone.

Because if you have multiple sclerosis as well—you’re right there with me.

With MS, slumber can be a fitful, jumpy fog of tossing & turning between muscle spasms and potty runs.

 

In other words, sleeping with MS, or sleeping with someone who has MS, can be as restful as sleeping on a board.

Which is why I’m in the spare boudoir.

 

 

A scene from NCIS?
A scene from NCIS?

 

But our spare bed isn’t so conducive when one has the dreaded ick, aka MS.

 

In the morning my bed looks more like a crime scene.

A nightly assault between me and my Sealy.

 

Doing a little detective work, My Odd Sock presents a pretty convincing case.

Let’s begin….

 

 

 

The Evidence:

 

Soft & cushy.
Soft & cushy.

 

Item #1:  The Pillow-Top Mattress.

“Oh but it’s so comfortable” you say.  And I agree.

It IS comfortable—until you need to move, turn or rollover.  Then you realize what it’s like to be a turtle on its back.

You are stuck in a billowy pillow of comfort.

Lord knows, if the house catches fire, I am tinder ‘cuz there is no way I’m getting out in time!

 

 

 

Soft as a fuzzy peach.
Soft as a fuzzy peach.

 

 

Item #2:  Fuzzy Sheets

 

Again with the comfort plea….I hear ya.

But they stretch & grab onto my immoveable feet and toes.

I feel as though I am sleeping under a fruit roll-up.

Lastly, fuzzy sheets are also a major problem when you have Item #3.

 

 

Gorillas are jealous.
Gorillas are jealous.

 

Third Item:  Hairy Legs

 

I can’t help it.  I am the missing link.  My father was a Yeti.

The problem being…the combo of hairy legs & fuzzy sheets is equal to sleeping with velcro.  It makes it very difficult to move.

Add to that stiff, weakened MS legs and you’ve got a party!

 

But all of these items don”t matter at all unless you have Item #4.

 

 

Still searching for a photo.
Still searching for a photo.

 

 

Item #4:  A Full Bladder

 

With multiple sclerosis, when you gotta go–you gotta go.

And items #1, #2 and #3 make it difficult to successfully expedite Item #4.

 

The end result often requires a change of underwear, bed linens or both on account of having more dribbles than the Milwaukee Bucks.

 

 

It's elementary.
It’s elementary.

 

 

It doesn’t take a first-year law student to know all four pieces of evidence add up to something worthy of rubbing my nose in.

 

Let me know if you face similar  nite-nite challenges.  Together we could make a stronger case…or maybe share a washer at the laundromat.

 

 

 

 

sock

 

 

 

 

 

4 Replies to “The Bed Zone”

  1. Helpful Hint: I learned from a MS periodical, you can move easier in bed if you buy sheets with a high thread count. Not sure how these sheets work with hairy legs…..you may have to shave! 🙂

  2. We have a memory foam mattress and it is comfortable but getting out of it requires me to sit up roll back (sort of) on my shoulders then roll forward and fling my legs over the side of the bed while grabbing the blankets to pull myself uptight. This doesn’t always happen the first time. And I gets up 2 or t3 times a night but being a memory foam it doesn’t disturb the other occupant (usually).

  3. Margaret,
    Shave my legs?…I’ll just wait for my spring molt. And the high thread count is something I always look for in a leisure suit.

    Joanne,
    Turn that frown upside down, girl! It’s all good.

    Tina,
    Ah-ha, you’ve been there. Nice play-by-play–we each have our routine. Feel free to disturb the other occupant though!

Making it official.