Two Feet Forward

Two Feet Forward

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In previous posts, I’ve made it clear that having multiple sclerosis makes even the simplest tasks most challenging.

That’s one reason why I’m given the ‘two minute warning” before my family is about to leave.  The early warning gives me an extra couple of minutes to get my mojo in motion.  Why?…because species evolve faster than I move!  

 

 

So today I would like to tell you about another of those simple challenges, and that is….clipping my toenails. For you, a trim of the toenails is a quick couple of snips and you’re done.  But for me, and those with MS, “cuttin the claws” can be a huge undertaking!  (Maybe that’s one reason I let them grow till they “clickety-clack” on the hardwood floor.)  

 

 

The Tools

It’s been said ” a craftsman is only as good as his tools.”  Whereas you may be able to use those cute little fingernail

clippers—they’re just way too fiddly for my fumble-some fingers. The muther of clippers.   That’s why I use the biggest, baddest mondo clippers on the market. 

The Ringling Brothers use these baby’s to trim the nails of the pachyderms!

And I love’em because these clippers “catch” the flying nail shrapnel.  You see, my toenails are thick like a heavy slice of onion and as hard as an oyster shell.  Why I’ve seen my flying toenail bits impale themselves into oak cabinetry—like podiatry Ninja throwing stars!

So if you are having trouble with this portion of personal hygiene, I suggest getting a pair of these gems.  They are heaven!  

 

 

The Process

 

 

I generally do my pedicure work in one central construction zone. IMG_1711

My area of choice is sitting on the edge of the bathtub, bending forward at the waist to clip my nails. The ergonomic problem with this is balancing my middle age ass, Olga Corbett style, along the four-inch balance-beam rim that is, the side of my tub. 

Of course, my exaggerated leaning forward body posture produces a self-induced Heimlich maneuver as my thighs compress my gut.  I’ll snip between “urps!”

 

 

When you add it up… MS’s lack of balance, weakened, fumble-fingers, fatigue, yada-yada-yada…you can see the simple things in life are a bit more challenging.  Our job is to use our noggins to figure out the best way to persevere. And we do…..two gnarly feet at a time. sock

5 Replies to “Two Feet Forward”

  1. I sit in my Lazy Boy recliner and crank it back, lifting my feet up high, struggling forward with the clippers (which often go flying across the room), gasping for air as my girl parts meet my gut. My toenails are so small it’s like doing scrimshaw on the head of a pin.

    I’ll have to try your bathtub technique.

  2. When you clip your toe nails in the bathroom, do the flying toenails chip the tile? I need at least a 30 minute warning before leaving the house. If I moved any slower I’d be standing still.:)

  3. I actually know how the shrapnails can make holes in your face when hit. I actually thought one day when I adhered sandpaper to the outside door to file down my lil dogs nails that I could use nail files and those sandpaper tongue depressors, I forget the name oye.
    That Ringling clipper looks nasty! It cuts nails and tiles? It looks like it could snip off aunt Martha’s wort on her nose with one quick snip!
    I applaud you for doing your own nails. It’s tuff and uncomfortable but you do it. You rock!

  4. Kim,
    Your comment makes for some funny mental images!

    Margaret,
    No, smarty-pants my nails do NOT chip the tile…but they do impale themselves in the wood cabinet!

    Nancy,
    I must do my own nails—it would be criminal to have someone else have all the pleasure!

Making it official.