Sky Mall & The Stuff You Can’t Live Without.

Sky Mall & The Stuff You Can’t Live Without.




Next to the vomit bag.
Next to the vomit bag.

One frill of flying is the opportunity to peruse the latest issue of Sky Mall.

Available on all airliners, Sky Mall is the complimentary catalog of products that are eclectically odd.  Things you don’t need & wildly overpriced.

Strangely though, flipping the pages, one feels a sudden, overwhelming urge of “I must haves.”

Maybe it’s the fact you are crammed in a pressurized MRI tube, 35 thousand feet in the air, dependent on the oxygen pumped into the cabin at whatever rate the airline feels is economically feasible and near life-sustaining!



That’s gotta be the reason because inside a Sky Mall catalog—you’ll find some goofy sh%#!!



Airline pillow



Like the Skyrest, a portable, huggable body pillow.

Just imagine this guy on the aisle while you’re in the middle seat.

You’ve had a full bladder since Des Moines and now you must wake Rip Van Winkle so you can get to the head.


At $29.95, let’s hope Skyrest can double as a flotation device.





Dog Raincoat



Need a doggy raincoat?  Sky Mall has’em.

The caption reads “Don’t let your pet get wet.”

Hey, here’s an idea, save some money by not walking poochie in the rain!


Imagine trying to put one of these on a pitbull.

It’s no wonder some dogs bite their owners!




Make sure the padding's toward the back!
Make sure the padding's toward the back!



Hmm, my butt sags no more thanks to the Leo Men’s Padded Butt Enhancer Brief.


It is described as having  “removable contour padding and a special design to lift your butt.”


“Breathable” as well–that’s important for those of us with stuffy asses!






A Yeti or me without my shirt?
A Yeti or me without my shirt?



For the garden, how about a life-size Bigfoot statue.

Eh, who needs a scarecrow when you have a Yeti!


The six foot tall statue comes with a larger than life-sized price tag of $2,250.


I can think of 2,250 ways to spend that kind of dough…and not one of them involved a garden Yeti!






Easter Island




If the Yeti is just too weird for your taste, maybe you need a replica Easter Island statue.


The captions reads…”Moai is an interesting conversation piece.”

Yeah, I can hear the conversation…”You bought this piece of crap?  What were you thinking?”


Even the kid in the ad is so ashamed, he’s pointing to the moving vehicle he’s about to throw himself in front of.




I usually grill in total darkness.
I usually grill in total darkness.



For the moron grillmaster is this battery-powered Grillight.


Wouldn’t it be easier (and cheaper) to move the grill closer to the porch light?


Heck, why not simply wear a miner’s helmet?  In fact. even a miner thinks the Grillight is a dumb idea.






Comes with its own Visine.
Comes with its own Visine.


Who wouldn’t want a Winky Cross Body Bag of their very own.

The 3-D eye on the bag blinks while you walk.

How ridiculous is this?

I can tell that’s not my eye on the bag–it’s not bloodshot enough!

This product is unique, I’ll give then that, but not $39 dollars worth unique.



Looking spiffy!
Looking spiffy!



Lastly, shield yourself from pests (and other humans at social functions) by wearing this hooded, zip-up mosquito jacket.


It’s pretty extreme, just where is this going…the jungles of Tanzania?


If the skeeters are so bad I need something like this–I’ll just go inside!


The jacket is said to “shield the skin from mosquitoes without the use of harmful and malodorous chemicals.”

Honestly, if I had my druthers, I’d rather wear the “harmful and malodorous chemicals!





That wraps up some of the fine items from the latest issue of Sky Mall.

See anything you fancy?


If you want to place an order…or see more fascinating products, visit SkyMall.com.

All major credit cards (stolen or otherwise) are accepted.

Happy shopping.

sock

2 Replies to “Sky Mall & The Stuff You Can’t Live Without.”

  1. Yvonne,
    I must agree with you…I love everything Big Foot! (Though I think this statue looks more like an Orangutan.) (Had to spell-check that one!)

Making it official.