My MS Evolution

My MS Evolution



As a species, we are evolving.

Taller.  Stronger.  Faster.


golden corral


That is unless you are looking at those in the buffet line at Golden Corral.

“Would you like beef or ham?”


OK besides that, we ARE evolving.

Just take my word on it for shits & giggles.



But since my MS diagnosis back in 1996, I seem to be deviating from the rest of the human race.


My Odd Sock's current evolutionary scale.
My Odd Sock's current evolutionary scale.


Because when I compare my body stature to that of an evolutionary scale…..I seem to be going backwards.

WTF?





Bipedalism


Sweet look dude!
Sweet look dude!



For all of my formative years and most of adulthood, I was classified as a “biped,” or using two feet for standing & walking.


The pictured image of socks with sandals?

Hey, science cannot define my poor fashion sense–only my means of locomotion!





Tripedalism


Tie your shoe, moron.
Tie your shoe, moron.



It was several years following my diagnosis till multiple sclerosis finally began robbing my body of its sense of balance.

I was not a Weeble–I had serious wobble that needed more stability.

Hence the use of a cane (And a slide down the bannister of evolution).

I became a “triped,” described as any animal that stands on three legs.


Once you got used to it, being a triped wasn’t so bad.  Unless you had to hug someone.  Then you had to decide where to put the cane during the hug….Do you keep it in your hand & jam it into their back during the hug?  Or, do you prop it up against yourself prompting the other person to ask “Is that your cane or are you happy to see me?”  (True story)



Quadrupedalism


Nice shoes.  Both pair!
Nice shoes. Both pair!


Even more years passed till it became necessary to add a second cane to my fashion ensemble.

Yes, I became a “quadrapod.”

Regressing further down the evolutionary scale was a definite blow to my modern man intellect (Family members will dispute the “modern man intellect” reference).




Being a “quadpod” took some practise to master the “Left front-Right rear, Right front-Left rear” rhythm of walking, but it’s all good now.



Yeah, I wish Charles Darwin was alive today to see how those of us with MS defy evolution.

We are definitely a strong and proud species all our own.

sock

5 Replies to “My MS Evolution”

  1. You’re only half way along the slide my friend. Now you have to progress through 2 wheel, three wheel and four wheel types of chairs and scooters. Also to be decided are motorized and manual. Dr. Scholl thinks he knows about methods of walking but he is just learning.

  2. Ms. Cranky,
    If it WAS my cane, it would have that strap thingy hanging off the handle—either that or my thong just broke.

  3. Robert,
    thank you for your comment. Oh but I do have a rollator AND a manual wheelchair which I use frequently.
    Though not versed in the power chairs. Can hardly wait!

Making it official.