Brain Drain #19

Brain Drain #19

 

 

Brain Drain

 

It’s hard to believe this is number 19 in the My Odd Sock “Brain Drain” series.

 

For those of you new to this rag, “Brain Drain” is simply me venting.  Draining my lesion-filled brain of unnecessary baggage.  Dumb stuff I’ve noticed in our world that can be as annoying as a canker sore.

 

Ready to drain with me?  Let’s go….

 

 

Marketing For Dummies

 

State FarmI have had State Farm insurance for many years with absolutely no complaints.  An excellent provider!

It’s their marketing I have a problem with.

I received this card in the mail from my local agent.

This card makes no sense at all….”I Fight Fail?”

What the?

It could mean any number of things.  That’s as vague as their slogan…”Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.” 

To you it means one thing.  But to me, I wonder if State Farm is like MY good neighbor letting their dogs shit in my backyard too!

 

What’s next….

 

 

Just Add Milk

 

IMG_0953Enjoying my morning cereal….”Special K with…..RED Berries.

Redberries?  They’re strawberries!  Call’em strawberries, dammit.

Red berries could be currants, raspberries, even dingle berries!

 

When I think about it….even more disturbing is the fact that a 49 year old dude is eating Special K!

What, you trying to fit into a two-piece this summer?

Belly up to some Wheaties will ya!

 

 

Next….

 

 

What’s For Lunch

 

Denny's Menu

 

Denny’s Restaurant has a lot to offer with its “$2-$4-$6-$8 Value Menu.”

 

 

Including this delicacy.

Denny's Fried Cheese

Fans of cheese…or angioplasty…will savor Denny’s $4 Fried Cheese Melt.

A toasted cheese sandwich containing four fried cheese sticks.  (This meal promises to plug your aorta AND your bowel!)

Hey don’t worry, your waitress knows CPR….and is studying cardiology online at the University of Phoenix!

This samich also comes with a side order of fries for that knock-out quadruple bypass you’ve always wanted!

 

Finally,

 

 

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

 

WaxVac

 

If you watch television at all, you have probably seen a commercial for the “WaxVac, the newest, easiest way to clean your ears.

WaxVac is just that, a small vacuum to gently suck out all the crud in your auditory canal.

 

 

Audio Earwax

 

The best part of the commercial is the guy cleaning his ears with a cotton swab.  At one point he screams so loudly in pain one would think he was cleaning his ears with an ice pick!  My God man, are you trying to push it all the way through?

Please stop when you reach the ooze that is your brain!

 

 

Baby's ears

Next, they show a person using the WaxVac to clean a baby’s ears.  This image frightens me.

I mean, a baby’s skull is still soft, right?  So theoretically, couldn’t its head collapse from the suction?  I just sayin.

 

And it’s all for just ten bucks!

But wait, that’s not all.

Call now and you’ll receive a SECOND  for free!

Yep, you get two WaxVacs for one low price.  Now, you are probably asking yourself…why in the hell do I need a second WaxVac?  Me too.  (We do have two ears so maybe that’s their reasoning.)

 

I’m pretty much drained by now, so it’s your turn.

Anything you want to get off your chest?  Let it fly.

You’ll feel better for doing so.

sock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 Replies to “Brain Drain #19”

  1. MMMM, that sammich from Denny’s has me wishing I wasn’t on the Swank Diet. Hahaha, not really. How perfectly revolting! Husband sitting here says, “People like cheese sticks and grilled cheese; it’s putting two things people like together!” Huh. Guess I know where he’s eating lunch Monday.

    There are so, so many things that irritate me (I am Ms. CrankyPants for a reason), but I’m on a number of medications designed to help me sleep right now, so I can’t think of a single one. Incredible. I’ll get back to you…

  2. Loved this Brain Drain. Especially the WaxVac. I swear I jump everytime that guy hollers OWW! when he jams the Q-tip way into his ear canal. Who does that?!!

  3. Denny’s needs to be charged with a crime for that sandwich….I’m pretty sure people from other countries think we have lost our minds with the crap we injest. Ok, I admit, I miss cheese, but seriously. I’m not ever sure what to say about the wax sucker, omgosh gross!!!!
    Sending you laughs and light,
    Olivia

Making it official.