WTF Father’s Day Gift Guide

WTF Father’s Day Gift Guide

 

 

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With just a week till Father’s Day on June 17th, retailers are abuzz, each claiming to have the perfect gift for Dad.

 

Well, they may be stretching the truth a bit as My Odd Sock has been busy scouring the ads, looking for the self-described “perfect gift” that in all honesty may be “not so perfect.”

Which is why I say….”WTF!”

Let’s see what YOU think…..

 

Time for tools!
Time for tools!

 

The Father’s Day sales flyer from Sears carried the theme “Things Destined For Dad.”

Like this circular saw blade wall clock.

Destined to hang in the garage or basement, this baby even features tools as the hands of the clock. 

To make this ensemble complete, Sears should have attached a thumb to the seconds hand.

(Seems I am always smashing my fingernail with a hammer or cutting myself on a saw blade!)

 

 

 

 

It's Electroman!
It's Electroman!

 

Next, I found the “Electroman” power strip in a magazine.

“Dad is sure to love the form and function…

(Me….not so much.)

…made for the modern multi-tasker.”

(Not really, because this guy is smiling.  Like most Dads, if we have four things running at once, we’re not happy because we’re using one hell of a lot of electricity!)

The makers oughta give this guy one more plug—making him anatomically correct!

 

Oh boy, we’ve stooped to a new low!

 

 

Ride me nerd!
Ride me nerd!

Moving along, Sears offers this retro looking bike taking Dad back to his childhood when he got his butt kicked by the neighborhood bully for riding such a “weanie-looking” bicycle!

Hey why not add those streamers to the handle-bar grips to really drive home the George McFly image!

 

The bike shown is the Schwinn Drifter.  A fine bike manufacturer I might add.  And a fitting name for the model.  Because if Dad grows a long beard, wears a hoodie and pulls a shopping cart behind him, he’ll look just like a drifter!

I can picture the Unabomber riding this bike!

 

Let’s keep shopping…

 

 

Who needs matches when you got this!
Who needs matches when you got this!

 

Finally–something I can use!

This flint/firestarter is a handy idea.

What bothers me is it has a “built-in whistle.”

(WTF)  What is the purpose of the whistle?

Do I use it to alert the Rangers if my campfire gets out of hand?

Or, do I blow it if I am getting raped by an amorous Grizzly Bear?

 

Please explain that one to me.

 

And one final gift for Dad….

 

 

One for the SS guards.
One for the SS guards.

Lastly, I found this swell bracelet in the advertisement from Kohl’s.

Yeah, I think every Dad wants to wear the German Iron Cross!

Ach Du Lieber!

 

Bet this is a popular gift amongst Dads of the Arien Nation!

 

Dad #1-  “I only got a Hitler moustache mug—but YOU got the Iron Cross bracelet.  Lucky!”

Dad #2-  “Gee thanks.  But did you hear?  Hank got the German Spike riding helmet!”

In Unison-  “Sweeeet!”

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed the “WTF Father’s Day Gift Guide.”

If you still haven’t  purchased Dad’s special gift–you still have time.  And may this guide give you many constructive ideas.

Happy early Father’s Day to Dads everywhere!

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5 Replies to “WTF Father’s Day Gift Guide”

  1. LOL, love the thumb on the second hand idea 🙂

    The worst Father’s Day gift I’ve ever given my dad: It was 1964 and I was eight years old. Dad was a jazz musician who loved Frank Sinatra, which by that time in my life was the only singer I knew, having been immersed in his albums at home with no AM radio privileges.

    My grandmother took me shopping and I saw a Buddy Holly album. Thinking he must sound just like Frank, I asked grandma to buy it for me. When I gave it to dad, he didn’t even pretend graciousness, he hated it and told me why, LOL!

    Since then I learned a thing or two about what was most meaningful to dad. In 2007, the year before he died, I knitted a scarf for him for Father’s Day. He wore it every day, including the five days he was in hospice. After he died, I took it from his belongings and still keep it on a shelf in my office to this day. His scent still clings to the fibers four years after his death. I can’t bring myself to display a photo of him yet, it hurts too much. When I miss him, I press my face into that scarf.

    I guess dads just want their kids to know what makes them feel loved. For my dad, it was anything we made ourselves for him. Took me 43 years to get it, but it’s never too late to learn 🙂

  2. Once again, LOVED it! And not only did your post make me laugh, it helped me with my shopping. Dad’s are immpossible to buy for. One year, I asked my dad what he needed specifically so he could really appreciate his gift. He wrote down a special tool he was longing for including the tool manufacturer, the name, the size, the location, and the color. I went to the store and even enlisted the help of a salesmen so that I could be sure not to mess this gift up. I brought it home, wrapped it and gave it to him. With a disappointing look on his face he informed me it was the wrong one!
    Father’s day best gift idea- a stupid, sappy card he won’t read and a couple of scratch tickets he won’t win on. Might as well give him hope this father’s day!

  3. Yvonne,
    Isn’t it great that today we have gift cards—give them and let the person pick out just what they want!

    Kim,
    Thank you for sharing your memories. I have my Dad’s sneakers ( I never put my face near them to sniff!) and a button from his police coat that I carry on my keyring.

    It’s the little things that help us the most!

Making it official.