The tabloid rags are famous for their exclusive stories about Bigfoot being the next judge on “American Idol.” Or pictures of Jessica Simpson’s three-headed baby.
I admit, they catch my eye when I’m in line at the grocery store checkout. (That’s why they put them at the registers, right?—To give you something to read while you wait!)
Magazines are no different.
Bold, splashy covers tease & entice you to check out what is inside.
Here at My Odd Sock, we subscribe to a magazine called “all you.”
“All you” is a spiffy magazine that helps readers shop smarter & wiser. It features lots of stuff on how to save money as well as offering plenty of coupons.
I’m all for that!
But this month’s headline really stretches things…..
“124 ways to live on nothing.”
Live on NOTHING….Really?
What do they think I am…..a friggin air fern?
And I like how it’s not 10 ways, or 15, or even 25 ways to live on nothing.
It’s “124 ways!” What an odd number. Like the editors couldn’t come up with one more way in order to make it an even buck & a quarter!
Well, I HAD to read this one. I HAD to find out how I could live on nothing!
So I went through the mag…page by page…cover to cover…once-twice-three times a lady, and still never found the article.
Oh, I found money-saving coupons….
Save $1.50 on any pair of Salon Perfect Eyelashes.
I’ve heard of “Locks of Love,” where people donate hair for cancer patients.
But eyelashes? Wow, some people are so generous to those in need!
And I can save 75 cents on G-U-M Star Wars Toothbrushes.
So I can “Brush Like A Jedi.”
Funny, I thought Jedi’s were known more for their skills as a fighter rather than their fastidiest dental care!
Thinking maybe I would find the ways to “live on nothing” within the small, tidbits of information scattered throughout the issue, I focused my attention there….
What am I supposed to do with the dead slugs?…..Eat’em?
Here’s an idea, how ’bout I drink the beer instead…get good’n liquored up…and forget about the damm slugs!
Or this “Bonus Tip”…….
“Prepare for on-the-go messes. Be ready for spills and make cleanups easier by bringing wipes, tissues, a roll of paper towels, trashbags and ziplock bags.”
What do I need all this stuff for? Am I cleaning up a crime scene?
Yeah, I’ll just keep it all in the pocket of my Haz-Mat suit!
Cripes, Russia didn’t use that much to clean up Chernobyl!
I have two kids…NOT a pack of jackals!
So I still haven’t found the “124 Ways To Live On Nothing.”
When I do, I’ll be sure to pass them along.