Giving In

Wed, Apr 4, 2012

Multiple Sclerosis



Did I give up too soon?


My brain.  A peanut in a in can

My brain. A peanut in a in can



Noo, that isn’t a long, forgotten quote from General George Custer.

It is what’s been bouncing around in my big, empty head these days.





Did I give up too soon on balancing multiple sclerosis with gainful employment?


violinsThough being told by doctors I could have been approved for disability years before, I stuck it out as a working stiff (literally!) till my lay-off in February of 2009.

(Do you hear the violins playing?)

Applying for disability in March, I was approved the first time, and officially became a “government gimp” in August.


It’s been nearly three years now.  I feel better as a whole, but walk worse.

Granted, I don’t miss the nine hour workday, combined with my 2 1/2 hour total commute each day.


I surrender!

I surrender!



But sometimes I think I raised the white flag too soon.



It’s inspiring to me to hear from MSer’s who still fight the fight in the workplace.



They struggle with the same mobility, balance, fatigue and cognitive issues as the rest of us. 

Yet, there they are…”punching-in” each morning with work to do.


Reach for the sky.

Reach for the sky.


I question myself if I gave up too quickly.

Do you think that about your own situation?

Do you still have fire in your belly, just no mojo in your legs?




Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to be excused from my job back in ’09.  It was unsatisfactory at that point and the hours were grinding my spirit to powder.

But yet, today, there is a lingering rumble inside.

Is it the calling of self-worth?  Or just the after-effects of a taco salad?



I say "Uncle!"

I say "Uncle!"


I would love to hear your side of the story.

Did MS force you to hang up your lunch pail?

And do you regret that issue?

If you continue to work, how do you handle the extra pressures MS places on you?

And what drives you onward, despite knowing the disability option is there for the taking?



I am one with multiple sclerosis—but I won’t let it define who I am.

Maybe that’s why I write these words ( and you read’em)…while kicking around the thoughts of giving in too soon.


, , , ,

10 Responses to “Giving In”

  1. My Odd Sock Says:

    Thanks for the welcome advice!

    You are a fighter! You start your day with “My Odd Sock?” Oh my, pass the antacids.
    Appreciate your enthusiasm.

  2. SpeckledBrain Says:

    I regret not being able to do my career anymore. However, I don’t think trying to figure out how to pay the million a year from the company is a good idea, if I spend days trying to balance my new budget and still screw it up. I have put my energy into my family in a partial role reversal in order to feel I do my part. But there are those days where the questions come back…and usually the answers get smacked back into my head when I overdo something that seems trivial to others and yet tiring to me. So, do what you can and find a peace inside. Push your limits and do as much as you can, but know when to stop and take the break.

  3. Margaret Says:

    I just read all the comments and share the same situations and concerns. To make a long story short, I too had to retire at 56 years old in 2009 and was also approved for SSDI. I had worked for 31 years, 15 with MS, the last 2 in a wheelchair. The first thing I do when I log on to the computer is read this blog. I always know it will bring a smile to my face and help me start the day knowing I am not alone with my MS.

    Sock, now I know why your motto is “What, me worry?” :)

  4. My Odd Sock Says:

    Thanks for your comment. You make some great points..”never got to find out what my full potential was” really strikes home!

    You have wise insight “Grasshopper!”

    Please continue sharing in the future!

  5. My Odd Sock Says:

    I understand your questions. They are relatable in some way, shape or form to each of us in the situation.

    Personally, I’m not one to sleep the day away. I keep busy all day long (Does reading the latest Mad magazine count?)

    Maybe it’s the “contribute” you mentioned. Is that what we seek?

  6. Kim Says:

    I did the same thing, went on disability in ’09 and have been trying to be productive in some other way ever since. I’ve been a patient consultant to a drug company a couple of times–but found it so hard to follow the slide presentations and contribute to discussions during one grueling day of meetings that I was reminded why I retired in the first place! Not sure I can do that gig anymore.

    Is it that you want to feel more productive–or is it that you want more structure in your day? Both? Do you merely want a reason to get up early and not sleep the day away? Would simply adding more structure take care of that nagging urge to work? These are the questions I kick around everyday.

  7. Judy Says:

    I worked 14 years with MS, through successive relapses, and when I retired it was because there was no doubt I had to. So the only regrets I have are that MS showed up at all, that I had to stop a well-paying career and now my finances are stretched, and that I never got to find out just what my full potential was. I think about that person who now seems so foreign to me. I used to travel around the world and now can barely make it to the mailbox. I used to walk so fast others were left panting. Now I walk haltingly. I used to lead teams of people and now spend days interacting with only my husband. I am glad I delayed as long as possible my retirement, but I am also glad I honored my body’s obvious limitations and did not impose an unbearable burden. Yeah, I still grieve that my life was turned upside down. But I have to focus on making my current life as rewarding as I can, given the hand that I was dealt.

  8. Muff Says:

    I knew I was getting weaker at work. As a school principal, my days were long — arriving before 7:00 A.M. and never leaving before 4:30 P.M. Usually I was there many nights and a lot of weekends. I, too, had a long commute, which sapped more of my energy. My walking was bad — so bad that I had to drive to many places within walking distance. I hated leaving my position, but I had to. That was in ’08. I applied for SSDI and was approved in 10 days. I fret over the loss of income this leave taking has caused, and I get depressed about all I’ll be missing, but I know I could never have continued. I just wish I could find something that I could do from home that would utilize my skills and education.

  9. Cindy Says:

    I had no choice but it really was a relief. My job required accurate cognitive ability. When I thought I still had it I was proven wrong by tests given by employer. I had to face it. I really had been struggling. I’m probably older than you. I had 3 more years to be retirement eligible and planned on persevering. But it is what it is! They gave me disability retirement so it kinda worked out…but at a smaller benefit. Oh well.

  10. Bob Overturf Says:

    I don’t believe you will ever answer this question to your satisfactioin. I was in sales when I was diagnosed in 1974. I really liked my job selling machine tools, gaging and measurement tools to manufacturing companies. As my legs got worse I could not stand for long periods of time to teach people how to run the equipment that I sold. With my falling and stumbling as well as bladder control my Dr. said I would qualify for disabiity. What! Quit! Give up! Never said I. My degree was in accounting so I took the civil service test and got a job with the MN Dept of Revenue. I worked there for the next 20 years (the last 5 in a wheelchair). I retired just a bit after my 67th birthday. I know people older than I who are still working. Maybe I should have kept on. Is living on Soc Sec and a pension like living on the dole? I can’t answer the question.

  • scary girls fuck good
  • hot blonde strip video
  • atlanta black swingers
  • young girl touching herself during school
  • young naked teenage nudist
  • young teen sex lesbian
  • girls that get naked for you
  • the best mature pussy
  • heterosexual men with anal fetish
  • pictures of couples holding hands
  • tiny teen argentine pussy
  • spinner porn videos
  • Sexy breast bra
  • real car sex video
  • teen girl queen comforter
  • naked pictures of jewe
  • natural blonde pussy hair free pic
  • black upskirt porn shemale
  • pussy old girl xxx
  • geri halliwell topless gallery
  • mature black pussy galleries
  • milf pussy fingering tube
  • rip that young tight pussy
  • video of girl taking a crap
  • black and white soccer pictures
  • young mothers pussy
  • explicit anal large porn
  • naked skinny women young
  • amish girl doing footjob video
  • Jennifer hudson sex scene
  • free mature amature pictures
  • girls from lacrosse naked
  • xxx cash for sex
  • animated pictures of girls
  • erotic hanging pictures
  • shemale girl young torrent
  • nonude asian teen model
  • naked fitness models videos
  • free lesbian bikini pics
  • school ass whipping videos
  • lesbian fingering search sites
  • young anal porn review
  • young illegal girls fucking and sucking
  • cum on tits pics
  • thai babes pics fotos
  • japans best facial plastic hospital
  • young girls dating sites
  • porn angels video
  • Nude teen age girls
  • nigerian teen boys dicks
  • sexy porno teens
  • my free amateur porn
  • Teen ass shot
  • teen sex hardcore xxx vids
  • buffalo anal sex
  • teenie clit closeup
  • frree virgin sex movies
  • couples sex tips
  • Asian girls vagina
  • a young victoria movie
  • girl on pussy
  • cum in pussy hair pics
  • best bald pussy
  • teach fuck wife
  • julia styles bikini pics
  • bbw sex pics
  • nude young girls with big tits
  • bangladesh naked girl pictures
  • see free fuck galleries
  • big tit ebony porn movies video
  • rape black girl
  • sex in the ghetto pics
  • japanese girl little naked
  • free porn voyeur videos suns
  • average girls nude videos
  • young jeezy cut throat
  • teenage fuck videos
  • free videos vichy vette pornstar
  • amateur meaty pussy
  • Teen fucked for cash
  • erotic shower pictures
  • petite euro threesome
  • mature big boobs galleries
  • abnormal sexual behavior in teens
  • oral sex on
  • sexy naked blacks
  • hardcore stockings porn
  • linsday lohan sex videos
  • tao bikini shining picture
  • bikini babe lesbians
  • videos of couples kissing
  • amateur mother daughter lesbien movie
  • lesbian lingerie asian
  • asian filipino porn
  • Incest sex story india
  • hardcore office sex porn galleries
  • upload porn movie torrent
  • free playful alice nude pussy photos
  • black cock fued white girl
  • outdoor nude girls out west pictures
  • say fuck you in japanese
  • anal hardcore fist
  • Indian nude fashion show
  • real home teen video sites
  • vagina camera sex orgasm cumshot
  • office babes videos
  • woman playing with hourse pussy
  • free sex chunli movies
  • young porn pics of the day
  • anal india porno
  • sexy flexible asian babes
  • close up inside her pussy
  • big tits and dick porn
  • Nudist teen ucking
  • extreme shemale porn domonation video
  • shemale cumshot movie galleris
  • youngest nude teens puffy niples
  • young petite girlies
  • party girls blow job
  • vibratior sex videos
  • asian girl sucking black cock
  • full version warez porn sex xxx
  • filipina porn blowjob
  • asian hooker sex
  • free very young girls sex video
  • the petite fleur essences from texas
  • lifetime movie girl falls for bestfriend
  • blonde pin up girls art
  • japanese school girl hien sex
  • mature ltina vids
  • fuck the babbysitter videos
  • girls having sex with pigs free
  • girls fucking trees pictures
  • young mile school girls
  • asian girls giving head
  • Nude sensual massage video
  • young housewife fuck
  • nippon girl with bulging pussy
  • Girls naked in sauna
  • and hot girls topless
  • little blonde girl
  • blonde laid by black cop
  • Nude girls showers
  • gourmet videos magazines porn tube
  • celbrity teens girls naked
  • Lesbian seduction movie
  • shemale anal cum
  • cartoon pussy family guy
  • young teen sex agp
  • black gang bang white wife
  • pleasure sex swing video
  • free screaming fuck video
  • free naked chicks pics aces
  • mature arab sex
  • fuck forced video
  • english sex pictures
  • nasty swingers pictures
  • free xxx ruogh sex
  • merlyn sakova shakeing her tits video
  • woman orgasm during sex
  • black comic porn
  • teenage finger pussy
  • girl gets wet pussy
  • petite chicks sucking cock
  • Teenies nude pics
  • interracial cuckold creampie wives
  • red scarf girl young pioneers
  • his juice splashed over my pussy
  • gallery heels and big boobs
  • large girl fuck
  • xxx glamour images
  • as my pussy orgasmed hard
  • sex video adult free
  • Big ass black anal
  • girl who have sex with s
  • japan homemade porn
  • extremely tight pussy huge cock
  • free young redhead nude pics
  • sexy black teengirls home made porn
  • xxx ebony milf
  • big tits girls flash
  • mackenzee pierce big ass videos
  • closeup gaping pussy
  • bear fuck videos
  • girl masturbating boys pictures
  • young naked teen
  • best free anal pics
  • pussy licks skinny girls pussy
  • naked avatar the movie porn
  • hamster amateur adult videos
  • japanese girls tabs
  • oral sex parties slutload
  • oral sex slaves torrent
  • black chicks white guy xxx
  • sext teen masturbation
  • homemade older woman young boy video
  • index of amateur movies
  • free sex tv porn movies
  • black male strippers party
  • fuck a black horny wife
  • german mature anal women
  • porntube cute teen anal
  • swinger sex pics
  • celeb porn chicks
  • cam petite young
  • jenna jameson fuck gallery
  • big black cocks and white chicks
  • naked big breated women vids
  • black pussy penetration hardcore free pics
  • petite musique de nuit
  • young black celebs nude pics
  • milf porn anal
  • old man young girl porn
  • vary young girl in bikini
  • Nude lingerie pictures
  • inexperienced girls having sex
  • Cum on girls
  • porn videos lesbian kinky and hot
  • chinese japanese hot girl
  • hot sexy very young boys
  • lesbian strap on anal tube
  • Latino girl porn
  • teen tube free video sex
  • mature and teen swingers
  • free drunk naked girls
  • teen naked in the jungle
  • free videos porn full length
  • interracial homemade porn double
  • hello amateur radio video
  • best movie sex sences
  • fetish sex bitch ebony
  • free stockings porn video
  • teen porn chubby blondes videos
  • group sex hedonism
  • tight asan butt vids
  • nude wife nude pictures for trade
  • big white cock tight black pussy
  • shemale video longer flash
  • girl eating cum from a pussy
  • Hot vagina pictures
  • bikini bandits movie
  • Female vagina image
  • teen having sex porn
  • girl gallery pix
  • exposed breasts pics
  • black teen fucked anal bouncing
  • intimacy sex scene video
  • Girl on girl action sex
  • misty gates spreading her pussy
  • giant tit mature women nude video
  • nigger fuck my wife
  • videos men anal masturbation
  • teen babes full movies
  • movie post naked girl
  • young porn ass
  • mandy lynn naked free playboy video
  • Buffy the body sex video
  • free pics boobs stockings feet
  • tongue up ass video
  • amateur slut video tube
  • pictures of womens butts
  • stripped inspected tortured girl pussy
  • Lesbian amateur videos
  • granny anal sex tube
  • Sexy girls skirts
  • sleeping girl gets fuck by men
  • chicks who suck dick
  • videos of hot blondes having sex
  • naked teen smooth
  • amateur porn college girls free
  • naked girls caught on camera
  • Indian sex movee
  • Sexy latina girls dancing
  • grandpa fucks black teen girls
  • asian female wrestling videos
  • bravo girls naked teens
  • free balck amature porn movies
  • free pics teens fuck old men
  • homley girl porn videos
  • pictures of ellen degeneres naked
  • brunette facial vids
  • flat chest amateur teen sex
  • clit sex story free erotic domination
  • asian wind blown upskirts pics
  • alessandra sex movies
  • jaime bergmann porn videos
  • naked hot housewifes gallery
  • wife that fuck
  • picturesof young nudes
  • Teen fuck pussy
  • Desi indian nude
  • black dicks latin chicks pornhub
  • finest pussy pics
  • free porn videos pink
  • lesbian anal whore cum
  • teen lesbians on girls
  • mature club video
  • wild party girl music
  • bollywood actresses sex video
  • fucking teen girls in shower
  • free mature high def video
  • fee amature sex video
  • that girl can suck a dick
  • interracial love pictures
  • katty perry pics boobs
  • black beauty salons in houston
  • sydnee steele hardcore pics
  • asian schoolgirls gallery
  • blonde suck dick
  • cum shemale girls
  • i cummed in cousins pussy
  • porn movie behind scenes
  • naked little adolesent girls
  • redhead unshaven girl xxx
  • united kingdon porn pictures
  • brittney spears suck dick
  • asian indian sex moview
  • romantic videos with naked men
  • webcam with couples
  • fuck the babysitters pussy spy camras
  • free kimber james porn videos
  • topless pool party pics
  • naked teen girls movies
  • shemale my first time video
  • interracial kissing galleries
  • darlen bad girl video utube
  • black girl fucks white man
  • oral sex aicts forum
  • Fuck a girl video
  • black lace free erotic stories
  • ametuer teen pussy ole
  • Sex photos of indian actress
  • torrent faster pussy fuck fucj
  • monster facial gallerys
  • Girl kiss pig
  • bravo japanese erotic
  • sex usa japanese
  • pictures of girls getting chubby
  • porn hub video best fourway
  • mature wife threesome porn
  • lesbian pornstar seduces my wife
  • sex desire of wife
  • free college girls sex pics
  • bride porn videos
  • Giant tits galleries
  • teen lesbians xvideos
  • rough sex babes
  • fat blond pussy
  • gspot sex video
  • real young movies
  • mandy lightspeed hardcore partying
  • how to perfom anal sex
  • bleach movie fade to black
  • rebel girl blowjob
  • colege small tits vids
  • a redhead teenage girl
  • amateur home movies public whores
  • Cum in my wife pussy
  • white girl riding black cock
  • serenity girl pics
  • moms teach teens how to fuck
  • free blonde blowjob videos
  • free petite pale small tits porn
  • symbian sex video
  • Boob suck pictures
  • sexy fuck webcam videos
  • fotos de sexo anal
  • Sex nude photo
  • shemale pantyhose video girl girlfriend
  • black chick sucks fat dick
  • Eating cum video
  • free asian porn videosa
  • cute sexy teen lesiban
  • barley legal teens free video
  • nude emo girl facial
  • two girls one cup disgusting video
  • big cock fuck movies free
  • black fuck my wife
  • papua new guinea initiation oral sex
  • free hardcore latino porn
  • asian horny girls
  • redtube black young chicks porn
  • Lesbian grind sex
  • Sexy hottest girl
  • Teen cameltoe pics
  • granny mature daughter sex
  • young men fuck wife
  • do girls like shaved pubs better
  • video pornographique amateur gratuite
  • young teen girls with older women
  • Black girls shakin that ass
  • teen for pay videos
  • lexi belle hitchiker porn videos
  • free black lesbien porn
  • young teen naked strip webcam video
  • first blowjob girl bad
  • videos pussy spreader ring
  • Big natural tit movies
  • new babes porn
  • free big ass pictures mobi websites