Sock Flop

Sock Flop

 

 

Sock HopThe glory days of the 1950’s had its sock hops—the whirling, twirling dances of youth.

 

The 1950’s were before my days (born 1963), but now in the 2010’s, I am able to go back in time and enjoy the same spinning, flailing dance moves.

Thanks in part to multiple sclerosis, that is.

 

You see, with MS, a “sock hop” quickly becomes a “sock flop.”

Simply combine my MS….stocking feet….and any hard floor surface (linoleum, tile, hardwood) and I fall faster than the value of your IRA.

 

Socks on a tile floor
Socks on a tile floor

 

 

Wearing socks can be as repelling to me as kryptonite is to Superman.

As garlic is to Dracula.

Or as the Super Bowl is to the Cleveland Browns.

 

 

Socks & hardwood.  (Your socks don't match, dude!)
Socks & hardwood. (Your socks don't match, dude!)

 

It’s not that our floors are super slippery either.

Maybe it’s my horrible sense of balance.  I mean, a college student’s checkbook has more balance!

I stand there, knees locked, ackward posture–when my stocking feet begin to shift, slip & slide like a politician dodging the issues.

 

 

Socks & linoleum.  (Yeah, those socks fit nice!)
Socks & linoleum. (Yeah, those socks fit nice!)

 

Why, I’ve even done the “Bambi” thing.

Remember in the movie when Bambi is standing on the frozen pond and her legs slip apart? 

Been there.  Done that.  I’ve performed the splits with my man-junk hitting the floor with a force that registered as seismic activity.

 

 

 

So what do I do about it?  Some suggest wearing slippers.  To which I say “fooey” for two reasons.  One, I’m a guy–guys don’t wear slippers.  And two, I don’t like the word “slippers.”  Slipping is my problem.  If I want to slip I will wear banana peels.

 

I think I need a cobbler!
I think I need a cobbler!

That’s why I wear shoes–all day long.

Here is a picture of my everyday shoes.  They have more wear than a retired streetwalker.  I call them my “sliders” because the sole is worn away.  They skim over carpeting and provide just enough traction on a hard floor.

When my “sliders” finally go, I don’t know what I will do.

It is sick how I rely on these old dogs to get me around!

 

 

Have you taken a few “sock flops” in your day?

What do you do to minimize your spills?

And I know you have a pair of well-worn “sliders” you want to tell me about!

 

Tread lightly my friend.  Put on your poodle skirt.  And comb your duck tail.  (Hopefully you are not doing both!)

It’s time to hit the dance floor—with our feet and not our butts!

sock

 

 

 

8 Replies to “Sock Flop”

  1. Bare feet is my preference, and Ugg boots in the winter, even inside the house all day. I never wear socks, they are my banana peels 🙂

  2. I never attended a sock hop, but I recognize that dance –the MS Watusi!!
    Well, it’s funny you mention this, as it was a part of a recent conversation I had. I cannot just wear socks in the house. I, too, slide on the hardwood floors, and I get stuck on the carpeting. So, I have to wear shoes, but that involves using the brace I wear. Once I settle in the evening for TV or reading, I go barefoot. Yes, it’s sometimes cold, but at least I won’t slip.
    Peace,
    Muff

  3. Sounds like you folks prefer to run barefoot.
    Guess I’ll have to join you.

    (Never liked the “clikety-clak” sound of my toeclaws on the floor!–Maybe it is time for a trim)

  4. I am now confined to a wheelchair, but I had read once to avoid slips, put “puff paint” on the bottom of your socks. It makes a rubber bottom like those footies you get in the hospital.

  5. Your posts so make me smile….and sometimes laugh out loud…and that is a good thing, right? I also must wear shoes at all times….and the toes pay for those times I’m just gonna go…..shoes have saved me when I fall up the stairs (knock on wood, my head?, that I haven’t tried the down….paranoia has its usefulness )….walking is the key, not falling is the goal…..sliding into home base is acceptable if there is no long term damage…..

    Keep on keeping on…..share our misery so we can all laugh….after all, if we can laugh at ourselves, we can laugh at anyone or anything…..that’s my motto….

    Stay upright….until bedtime, anyhow….
    Shel

  6. Shel,
    Thank you for your kind comment.
    Your advice is well taken. I like “upright till bedtime.” Although lately I have been falling sleep in the chair!

Making it official.