I. P. Freely

I. P. Freely

 

 

I P FreelyNah, this isn’t about the work of legendary folk-lore author, I. P. Freely

It’s about bladder control pure and simple.  Or lack thereof in regards to many of us with multiple sclerosis.

 

 

You see, most of the time I HAVE bladder control.  This is about the times when my bladder controls ME!  Like a loyal dog to its master, when it goes–I go!

 

My problem usually occurs in the morning when my eyes are bloodshot and my bladder is brimming like a cup of Maxwell House.

I do my quickest spasticity-induced, “quasi-shuffle-foot drag” (Government moves faster!) into the powder room.  But it isn’t quick enough for my seemingly ping-pong ball sized bladder.

Typical view of preferred potty distance.
Typical view of preferred potty distance.

 

 

Vicinity when my bladder opens flood-gates.
Vicinity when my bladder opens flood-gates.

 

Because my bladder likes to get a jump start on the day as soon as I cross the threshold of the bathroom.  (In Track & Field, this is known as a “false-start.”)

Needless to say, my day begins with damp UnderRoos.  (Stealing the slogan from Folgers….”The worst part of waking up is urine in your lap!”)

 

My sometimes accidental basement bathroom
My sometimes accidental basement bathroom

 

But the bathroom isn’t the only place where yours truly has had bladder issues…outside in the yard…in the basement…in the shower–wherever I suddenly find myself far enough away from the potty…and not enough leg umph to get me there!

My problem seems to occur when I wait too long.  Then, when it is too late–I have to go–and go NOW!

 

 

Luckily the urge has never struck when I have been in public.

I’m sure you can relate to urgency mishaps.  Do they happen to you?  Are you prone to have problems any particular time of day?  Ever have an accident in public?

Please share your story in a comment.  Your words will have me sitting on the edge of my (toilet) seat with anticipation!

 

So I doubt the work of I. P. Freely will ever match the popularity of a James Mitchener, Stephen King or J. K. Rowlings, but the impact of the author’s words influence nearly everyday of my MS filled life.

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7 Replies to “I. P. Freely”

  1. Anywhere, any time, public or private…the yellow river trickles, sometimes it flows. Thank god for TENA…gives me a “Whole New Level of Confidence”

  2. Okay, so it’s not a story but a poem called Wave after Wave which I wrote for my blog, but there are lots of stories behind the words.

    When urgency hits
    mad scrabble on hobbled legs
    to make it on time.

    Mostly I get there,
    winded and aggravated
    at reality.

    Top priority,
    finding where the bathroom is.
    This is my life now.

    Judy

  3. Judy,

    Thanks for the comment. Sometimes I wish it flowed “Wave After Wave.”

    Mostly it’s like how Karen describes it as a trickle!

  4. Another great article we can all relate to (unfortunately), keep it up!!!

    After 26 years, oh to have a flow again. Even when I did make it to the porcelain target, I’d have to use one of the ultimate male shames and sit down to pee, due to spray issues.
    But, wait there is a light at the end of the yellow tunnel. After consulting an Urologist, I now take Vesicare 5mg once a day to stop urine flow and use a straight catheter to drain my bladder every 8 hours.
    Sleeping at night is a good thing!
    Not peeing on myself priceless…

  5. Pee here, pee there, pee EVERYWHERE. Did you know the middle name of MS is FRUSTRATION?
    I now have a power chair with a lift for our van. BUT don’t ever come over and inspect our woodwork. What a mess! I even took a door off once!!!!! FEET BEWARE, here I come!
    Between me and the world…I will destroy!

  6. While taking my sister to have an MRI (she has MS too!) on a hot summer day, we encountered road work which then caused delays in our estimated travel time. Oh joy! I emptied my bladder (against my will of course) so as we entered the hospital where her test was going to be given, I held my purse in front of me while she walked behind to try to hide my wet pants. I was just going to go in to the gift shop and buy a pair of scrub pants to get me through but…they didn’t have any! All they had was a one size fits all night shirt! I ended up buying that at walking back to my car in a night shirt, bra and sandles! Not a good look but…not the end of the world either! Now I usually wear a “potty pad” when I am going to go somewhere that I haven’t got first hand knowledge as to where the nearest bathroom is, especially in warm weather. Live and learn! 🙂

  7. I’ve had so many “accidents”! In public some how I have escaped embarrassment. The wheelchair helps a lot with this one. I haven’t associated it with time of day. Just with how much I actually drink.
    Nicole

Making it official.